# Customers called "Fat Girls" on receipt at restaurant **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595 "2012-12-10T14:31:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/81 "2012-12-10T19:21:12Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Puella quoniam pinguis pro totus , non iustus pro desumo. Translation? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/82 "2012-12-10T19:22:41Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > What they had hoped to accomplish were paid appearances on Oprah. Ah. Well, they won this round. Somehow I doubt they will be generous enough to comp the waiter for thier fifteen minutes of glory. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/83 "2012-12-10T19:23:26Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Translation? The girls became fat for all, not just the elect. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/84 "2012-12-10T19:24:34Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > The girls became fat for all, not just the elect. That’s very big of them. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/85 "2012-12-10T19:27:59Z")
> [@colander](#): > > A grudging of half-off on your meal accompanied by a smirk from the manager doesn’t exactly spell contrition. Customer service: it’s not that hard. This is exactly correct. Once the waiter made the mistake, the fat girls were in a great position…free food. Simple as that. The fact that the manager and the server didn’t know that is the part that makes them true idiots. Yes, the girls are fat, and if you had printed that without making the mistake of giving them that copy of the receipt, then everything would be fine, like it always is if you call someone fat, or short or blond or whatever. Once you made the mistake though, your response should be to apologize profusely and comp the entire meal. If you don’t do that then the girls will make a fuss and someone is going to end up fired. Surely that isn’t the ideal outcome for the server who simply made a little boneheaded mistake. American customer service is unique. Many other countries are baffled by it. But it works for us for a very good reason…we kind of like the capitalistic culture that we have all learned to work with. If they had comped the meal, with a ‘sincere’ apology, the fat girls wouldn’t have had such good cards to play. Now they win because they know the schmuck got fired, and they still ate free. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/86 "2012-12-10T19:30:27Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > And plenty of us don’t give a shit, because, you know, it’s not like it’s a big secret that we’re short. And so what? Shortness and fatness are broadly considered undesirable traits in our society. You have particularly thick skin, perhaps. That doesn’t change the fact that it > [@](#): > > It’s more annoying when people strive NOT to point it out. I don’t understand what this means. When is a service provider so compelled to point out your physical characteristics – unless it’s somehow relevant to the service? > [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > You honestly don’t see the difference between a note of ‘Dirty stinking (racial epithet’ and ‘Fat girls’…? Will you at least acknowledge that they are at different places on the offensiveness scale? No, I won’t, because it doesn’t matter. Calling someone a “dirty Mexican wetback” might be worse that calling someone “fat,” but so what? There’s no prize for being “less offensive than the maximum level of offensive.” ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/87 "2012-12-10T19:33:00Z")
> [@colander](#): > > \ But here’s a good rule of thumb for addressing people respectfully: don’t draw unnecessary attention to characteristics they posess that society at large perceives to be a liability. Maybe you don’t mean any harm, who knows? But once it’s out of your mouth, it kind of doesn’t matter what your intent was. > > Look, nobody’s going to call the cops on you for commenting on a mother’s ugly baby or for telling a crippled WW2 veteran that he’s a pee-reeking crippled old gimp. You’re allowed to say pretty much whatever rude stuff you want. But if people get upset about it, well, that’s allowed too. Exactly this. And yeah, dumb waiter/server/Jeff. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/88 "2012-12-10T19:34:38Z")
> [@colander](#): > > A grudging of half-off on your meal accompanied by a smirk from the manager doesn’t exactly spell contrition. Customer service: it’s not that hard. True, but I don’t think there’s anything they realistically could have done that would have. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/89 "2012-12-10T19:36:47Z")
What, sincere apologies are always futile? ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/90 "2012-12-10T19:38:11Z")
1. I have never paid attention to the “name” portion of checks. Eyes go straight to the number, I tip and sign and close the folder. I wonder how many times I’ve been insulted without even knowing it. 2. I think this is hilarious. If I were ever to be in this position, I would laugh so hard. Of course, it would have to come with consequences because it’s supremely unprofessional, but I would appreciate the humor behind it. 3. I was expecting a much bigger dude on that ducati. 4. Line of the thread goes to Bob Ducca in post 27. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/91 "2012-12-10T19:39:31Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > True, but I don’t think there’s anything they realistically could have done that would have. Really? Because customer service is pretty much based on the philosophy that there ARE things you can do to pacify an upset customer. Free crap is the answer. If the manager had popped his eyes open in shock, sputtered apologies, promised disciplinary action (which of course, he doesn’t have to actually bother with) and ripped up the bill, I don’t think anyone would have gotten fired or put on the news. I may be wrong, but I doubt it. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/92 "2012-12-10T19:43:27Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > And so what? Shortness and fatness are broadly considered undesirable traits in our society. You have particularly thick skin, perhaps. That doesn’t change the fact that it First, I don’t believe that shortness carries anywhere near the same stigma as fatness. A completely false equivalence. No one has ever, ever said: “What did that person do to get so short?” “I used to be short, but kind of let myself go.” “You need to get a little taller, or it will take a toll on your health.” ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/93 "2012-12-10T19:44:39Z")
> [@What the fuck was I thinking?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-was-i-thinking/79514/16): > > Once you made the mistake though, your response should be to apologize profusely and comp the entire meal. If you don’t do that then the girls will make a fuss and someone is going to end up fired. Surely that isn’t the ideal outcome for the server who simply made a little boneheaded mistake. Once the mistake was made, someone should have been fired, period. Apologies and free food won’t stop a fuss being made–even if it did this time (which I’d doubt), it won’t next time. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/94 "2012-12-10T19:54:57Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > But people do it all the time. I wonder if any of those three women ever call slender women sticks, boney, scrawny, skinny bitches, or claim that women with a low to normal BMI aren’t"real women"? I’ve always been tall and thin, and strangers and coworkers think nothing of commenting on my appearance and it’s rarely nice or flattering. And I’ve never been offered a meal discount or a news segment. It’s rude to call attention to a person’s appearance if it’s not nice or flattering. And it doesn’t matter if the person who is commenting is a stranger or not. The only time a negative comment should be made is when a manager/supervisor is telling a worker that his/her appearance is not up to the standards, or when an honest opinion is solicited. For instance, one time when my daughter was sorting through her wardrobe, she asked me to help her. I told her which garments looked good, which didn’t do anything, and when I said “That top makes you look about five months pregnant” she thanked me for telling her and put it in the give away pile. Positive comments are almost always welcome. > [@Acsenray](#): > > Has it been done to you by someone who’s offering you a service that you’re paying for? What did you do about it? What if they had called you “ugly” or “stupid” or used a racial epithet? It’s up to you to complain or go to the press. No one’s going to do it for you. I think that the women couldn’t have been all that humiliated if they went to the press. They might have felt insulted, yes, but not humiliated. I’ve had restaurant tickets which label me as “The Sorceress” (I use a fancy walking staff with a small leather pouch and a couple of leather braids dangling from it, and read fantasy books) and also “Cowgirl hat” (I wear a cowboy hat). I don’t mind this, because I don’t find either of those labels offensive, and I think that most people wouldn’t find it offensive. However, in the US, calling someone fat is usually meant as an insult. Now, sometimes it’s just used as a description, but generally it has at least some element of derision in it. I think that all of the restaurant staff that interacted with the women in question exhibited poor judgement, including the one who presented the bill without noticing the description. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/95 "2012-12-10T19:55:02Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > It’s not okay, and it doesn’t matter how fat they are. (Yeah, **Loach** , I know you’re trying to be funny, but that’s not okay either.) > > Grown ups don’t call people names, especially not strangers who’ve done them no harm. It’s bad enough when it’s the anonymity of the Internet. It’s even worse when it happens in real life. Oh jeez… don’t get all butthurt. If a waiter had 8 tables, and described me as “fat white guy”, I don’t think I’d be offended, especially if the other 7 tables don’t have anyone fitting that description. I’d rather have them put that on my receipt than give me someone else’s order or my order to someone else, especially if I had some sort of food sensitivities or allergies. It may be kind of a low-rent way to do it, but the intentions were good. ---
**Author:** ![the\_apples\_fell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@the\_apples\_fell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_apples_fell)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/96 "2012-12-10T19:57:16Z")
I don’t understand how on one hand, fat people want to be accepted for their weight, criticize skinny people as unhealthy and make fun of them and often accuse them of being anorexic so that they will feel better about their own deadly and unhealthy size, but then on the other hand the whole “big is beautiful” movement… which is it? I think the former… it’s insecurity. These women obviously DO NOT think that their weight is a good thing and they do know that it is indeed a problem, otherwise they would not have gotten offended and taken “fat” as an insult. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/97 "2012-12-10T19:59:33Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > Once the mistake was made, someone should have been fired, period. Apologies and free food won’t stop a fuss being made–even if it did this time (which I’d doubt), it won’t next time. In a call center, it isn’t uncommon to have an agent say something about a customer that they think is on ‘mute’. If a customer hears someone say, “Urgh, this country bumpkin is killing me” then it is damage control time. The customer hangs up, gets another agent. That agent sputters apologies and gets the manager. The manager takes the call, offers the tech support for free, and ‘sincerely’ apologizes to the customer. After the customer is comped, the manager will address the agent about being more careful with mute (some stricter managers will write him up, ours didn’t, but our program was a bit more ghetto than the others in the call center) and then we would all sit around and laugh about it. But the main thing is, we were all smart enough to execute the proper customer service. The customer felt like someone got fired. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/98 "2012-12-10T20:11:53Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > But people do it all the time. I wonder if any of those three women ever call slender women sticks, boney, scrawny, skinny bitches, or claim that women with a low to normal BMI aren’t"real women"? I’ve always been tall and thin, and strangers and coworkers think nothing of commenting on my appearance and it’s rarely nice or flattering. And I’ve never been offered a meal discount or a news segment. > [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Positive comments are almost always welcome. Do you think those comments are positive or welcome? I assure you, they are not. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/99 "2012-12-10T20:13:32Z")
> [@the\_apples\_fell](#): > > I don’t understand how on one hand, fat people want to be accepted for their weight, criticize skinny people as unhealthy and make fun of them and often accuse them of being anorexic so that they will feel better about their own deadly and unhealthy size, but then on the other hand the whole “big is beautiful” movement.. which is it? What is it? Maybe three different fat people all with different takes on the matter. This may come as a surprise to you but not all fat people have the same opinion on matters of size. ~hajario - BMI 21.5 ---
**Author:** ![the\_apples\_fell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@the\_apples\_fell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_apples_fell)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/100 "2012-12-10T20:15:44Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > What is it? Maybe three different fat people all with different takes on the matter. This may come as a surprise to you but not all fat people have the same opinion on matters of size. But then it makes you wonder, if they see a problem with their weight, then why not fix it, assuming they do not have a debilitating condition that prevents them from doing so? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595.md?page=6)