# Customers who make extremely unreasonable requests **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 27, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470 "2009-07-27T19:24:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/41 "2009-07-29T06:40:49Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > I swear I read this exact same story on Not Always Right recently but I can’t find it now. You may be right, but I’ve read the complete archives there, and don’t recognize it, FWIW… Joe ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/42 "2009-07-29T06:44:34Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > I’m sorry but this seems incredibly petty and screwed up. The way i’d heard it was that the customer exchanged the very last bite left of the hamburger because it wasn’t cooked properly and got a small piece of a new hamburger back. How else was he supposed to know it wasn’t done right if he didn’t take a bite out of it first though? I would have rightly thrown a fit if some asshole did that to me. I’m sorry, are you kidding? He ate basically the whole burger, then stated that it was bad, and he wanted a new one. That seems reasonable to you? Joe ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/43 "2009-07-29T06:57:37Z")
One Of my favorites from my management time at Home Depot was a customer ordered a special order patio door with a minimum 3 week lead time. The next weekend they decided to remove the existing door and showed up looking to pick up the door that had no possible way to be in in that time frame. Me: ‘Your doors not in yet it will be at least two more weeks and can often be longer’ Him:‘What am I supposed to do about the hole in my house! I can’t secure my house.’ Me:‘I’m not sure why you removed the existing door already we can’t get you your door any earlier. You could get some plywood to cover the opening in the meantime.’ Him: ‘That would look ugly’ Me: blank stare Him: ‘Will you deliver the plywood’ Me: ‘For our regular delivery fee. Normally its 24 hours lead time on diliveries but i can have an associate take it over now so you have it today’ Him: ‘Why should I have to pay its not my fault your taking too long getting my door’ Me: ‘It hasn’t even been a week we told you it was going to take 3 weeks’ pointing to the customer contract he signed stating the three week estimate.’ Him: ‘If you don’t go out back and get me my door right now I’m never doing business here again.’ The conversation continued to go nowhere for some time him insinuating that we had his door and were not willing to give it to him. We refunded him his money. He came back a week later and ordered the same door again. ---
**Author:** ![Recliner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a88e57/32.png) [@Recliner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Recliner)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/44 "2009-07-29T07:51:30Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Years ago I was waiting in line at the DMV. The very young man in front of me was asking the clerk to change the birthdate on his driver’s license to make him look over 21. She, naturally, refused. He got totally indignant. “Come on, I’ll slip you a twenty!” > > Yeah, that would be worth her while. Hah, lucky he didn’t get arrested – in our DMV, there are signs mentioning any attempt to bribe is a serious offence, etc. And really – what DMV worker would risk their job (and jail – tampering with an ID?!) for a measly twenty bucks? Heh. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/45 "2009-07-29T12:56:11Z")
> [@wheresgeorge04](#): > > I’m sorry, are you kidding? He ate basically the whole burger, then stated that it was bad, and he wanted a new one. That seems reasonable to you? > > Joe I believe the confusion here stems from the use of the word “bite” to mean both the piece of food (there is one bite left on the plate) and the place where a piece of food once was (Ew! That cookie has a bite in it). I assume in the original story, there was one small piece of burger left, and that small piece is what was replaced, not one small piece missing. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/46 "2009-07-29T13:05:12Z")
Right. Definitely a scam. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/47 "2009-07-29T13:10:19Z")
> [@wheresgeorge04](#): > > I haven’t seen that ad. If true, It tempts me to set up a test. Anyone wanna bet on whether or not someone will come in to get the kid’s passport? I’m suspicious of the Best Buy ones where an extremely competent salesperson helps someone pick the perfect gift, too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/48 "2009-07-29T13:32:42Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > I believe the confusion here stems from the use of the word “bite” to mean both the piece of food (there is one bite left on the plate) and the place where a piece of food once was (Ew! That cookie has a bite in it). > > I assume in the original story, there was one small piece of burger left, and that small piece is what was replaced, not one small piece missing. I think there’s confusion, but it seems to be a disconnect between **DigitalC** ’s clear and correct analysis of the words of the story being that “the customer exchanged the very last bite left of the hamburger” but somehow (I suspect) in his/her mind _seeing it_ the exact opposite way around. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/49 "2009-07-29T13:49:43Z")
> [@badbadrubberpiggy](#): > > This reminds of this hilarious (and very long) thread on the Etiquette Hell forums: > [Not Going to Happen 'Cause I’m Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)](http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=46148.0) Thanks for this link. I shall be entertained for hours. Back in my days working at a bath products store, we’d get people coming in and abusing our fairly generous return policy. See, if you bought bubble bath for Aunt Mildred and she didn’t like the scent you picked out for her, you could return it and we’d exchange it. By which I mean, let Auntie sniff the bottle, say “blah, I hate apple blossoms”, and then bring it back to us and exchange it for vanilla. But we’d get people bringing half-bottles back, saying they didn’t like the smell. Same story for lotions and perfumes, and one customer tried to return a deodorant. Ew. Most people backed down when I told them we couldn’t refund their money if half the product was gone, but some of them really got aggressive, and the manager decided it wasn’t worth it and we usually just gave up. Then there’s my grandmother, who is famous in the family for having brought a blouse back to the store for a refund because it was missing buttons. She didn’t have a receipt, but that didn’t stop her. She showed the sales clerk. Called in the manager. Argued that it was a bad product. Admonished them for selling sub-par merchandise. This went on for a half hour, or so I’m told, at which point the manager quietly apologized and refunded her money. A few days later, cleaning out a drawer in the kitchen, she found the receipt for the blouse. Which she’d bought at a totally different store. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/50 "2009-07-29T14:01:15Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Oh, and my favorite…we used to get customers who’d swear that the service, selection, and prices were all much, much better over at our competitor’s place. I always wondered “Then what the hell are you doing in THIS place, then?” but I never let those words pass my lips. I have, but I’ve been the customer behind them waiting for them to finish - because this sort of idiot always takes FOREVER when you are standing behind them wanting to ring through one stupid thing and get home! ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/51 "2009-07-29T14:34:28Z")
> [@wheresgeorge04](#): > > I’m sorry, are you kidding? He ate basically the whole burger, then stated that it was bad, and he wanted a new one. That seems reasonable to you? > > Joe Did you tell him that you were going to kick 100 percent of his ass? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/52 "2009-07-29T14:34:56Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > And bosses who will give the customers anything they want, no matter how unreasonable, period. Yep. When I was a bank teller, we had a business account with some really nasty people. One guy who brought in deposits would basically verbally abuse me every time he came in. He once tried to get me fired because he wanted ten rolls of quarters and I only had nine on hand. Another guy tried called corporate to complain because when he walked in, a few of us were laughing and bankers should never laugh. These guys were assholes and nothing but trouble. I asked the manager why we didn’t just close their account and never return. “Oh, we need their account. Their deposits are very important to us.” I looked it up. Their account balance was consistantly around -$7,000. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/53 "2009-07-29T15:12:38Z")
I had a major car accident a few years back that I walked away from. Totaled my econoline. About an hour after the accident, I was at the collision shop of a friend of ours who does high end, yuppie cars. My husband was talking to our friend and they were surveying the damage of my DOA van just being put into its final resting place. I am in our other car having a very good pity party. I was holding a papertowel sodden with blots of blood on it from the small cut a stainless steel coffee mug that had been on my dash board holder thing went flying all the way to the back window of my van, smashed it and rebounded back to hit me in my head behind my right ear. All things considered, I am very, very lucky. A well dressed knob gets out of his vintage British sportscar that could have been an [MG](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:1976.mg.midget.arp.jpg) or something similar. Late 60’s early 70’s. Nice green color. Along the side there was a scratch and a very minor dent. I was walking past him with my paper towel on the back of my head and said in my best non-challant voice, " That’s nothing. See what _I_ just did about 40 minutes ago?" and pointed to my econoline that was all mushed on one side from the front on collision and listing to the left. The knob did not even acknowledge my accident or injury or anything. At all. He turns to his car and says, " My sons did that." Fine, don’t give me any pity. Thinking they were 16 or so, “What happened?” The knob tells me they went out on a joyride and ended up getting in a trucks blindspot and lcoked into the trucks wheel well for a few moments of colon cleansing before breaking free and getting away. “Were they ok?” He didn’t even answer me on that. “Look at what they did to my car!” “You were lucky they weren’t killed!” I bit off a little raw. The knob went off on a controlled rant about god knows what that I didn’t really hear because our friend, the manager of the shop was with us now and waiting. We exchanged glances of _This guy is a dick._ “How old are your sons?” I’m thinking they did a Ferris Bueller’s Day off joy ride in Daddy’s precious vehicle. “23 and 25.” This wasn’t a simple teen joyride. That car meant more to dad than his own sons. " Make them pay for the repair." From his bent over position where he gently traced every inch of damage with a finger the Knob gave me such a _look_ as if, they won’t have any part of this car ever again. The knob noticed the Manager and I instantly became UNIMPORTANT. I followed after them and went inside and took a seat. My husband was leaning on the counter and had, I knew, been told by his manager buddy that he had a customer here ( not that we weren’t REAL customers) but in the language only guys can speak through mental powers, told my husband silently _Let me deal with this guy so you can see what an asshole really is._ So, we listen to our friend, who has the patience of twenty people, listen to The Knob want his car back by TOMORROW. ( It was about 4pm. On a Saturday.) “Mr. Knob, the damage to the car can be repaired fairly quickly. The problem is, and I told you this when you ordered the specialty paint from England is that it takes at least 6 weeks to get it over here to our shop.” The Knob went off on God Knows What in a stick up the ass controlled waspy fashion for about a minute. I’m guessing he was an engineer. He wanted his car back, in perfect condition tomorrow. He wasn’t ranting or raving. He was a boss somewhere that had no concept of time, labor and reality. "Mr. Knob, if you look at this form you signed when you ordered this specialty paint from England for the original custom paint for your car, you signed stating that any additional paint needed would take a minimum of six weeks to get into the shop. This is standard operating procedure…blah blah blah. We used up all the paint from the original job on your vehicle and don’t store any thing due to storage limitations…blah blah blah. " And he went on to explain there was no way he could bump and buff the damage out and paint it in less than 24 hours. It wouldn’t be quality work. All very logical. This very controlled, very profession standoff went on for 20 Minutes. The Knob could not process the six week wait for paint. It went round and round. We, as spectators, thoroughly enjoyed the show. So did the guys in back, who were listening in on speaker. You just know those guys all rubbed their junk all over the steering wheel to get back at Mr. Knob. When Mr. Knob gave his keys over to his beloved vehicle, he said, and I swear I am not making it up said, " _I’ll be in on Monday then to pick it up."_ And he left. We three stood or sat there in silence until he drove off in another vehicle and was on the street. “So, Greg.” Says I in a serious voice." Since his on the back burner until Monday. Can you get my van up and running by 6pm tomorrow night?" “For you, I’ll have it ready by noon.” ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/54 "2009-07-29T16:12:16Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > A well dressed knob gets out of his vintage British sportscar that could have been an [MG](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:1976.mg.midget.arp.jpg) or something similar. Late 60’s early 70’s. Nice green color. Couldn’t have been an MG. MG owners are friendly, courteous without exception, and seldom well-dressed (but still devastatingly handsome). The car you saw was probably a Jaguar. An MG owner would order the special paint from England, we just wouldn’t be such a dick about it. I’m glad you weren’t badly hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Recliner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a88e57/32.png) [@Recliner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Recliner)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/55 "2009-07-29T17:16:50Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Another guy tried called corporate to complain because when he walked in, a few of us were laughing and bankers should never laugh. At a job I worked at semi-recently (in a retail setting), this came up not once, not twice, but SEVERAL times – people would file complaints regarding the fact that the salespeople were…er, basically, not standing at attention the moment they walked in. I’ll grant that the store had a fairly laid-back atmosphere, but the sales staff was pretty on-the-ball about switching from “chill” mode to “customer” mode. I always wished I could find out who these random complainers were. Oh, and people twice complained that one guy was “intoxicated” – a known sober individual. Weird. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/56 "2009-07-29T17:29:06Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Their account balance was consistantly around -$7,000. “Their overdraft fees are very important to us.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/57 "2009-07-29T17:40:50Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > “Their overdraft fees are very important to us.” I think they had some special deal where they didn’t get charged overdraft fees. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/58 "2009-07-29T17:42:39Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I think they had some special deal where they didn’t get charged overdraft fees. Well then what the hell? It is my goal in life to someday own a business, simply for the pleasure of telling people who abuse my staff to fuck right the hell off. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/59 "2009-07-29T17:54:37Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Well then what the hell? Apparently the manager before the one I worked for wanted their account really badly and kissed their asses until he got it. I have no idea why. The latter manager was a bit of a wuss and didn’t want to upset anyone. (But she didn’t seem to care if her own employees got upset.) It was a problem with a number of customers there. It was a business-only branch, we didn’t do personal transactions. I don’t know what it is about small business owners, but it seems that a disproportionate number of them are flaming assholes. Some of them, of course, were awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470/60 "2009-07-29T18:49:39Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I’m suspicious of the Best Buy ones where an extremely competent salesperson helps someone pick the perfect gift, too. 🙂 Is it the extremely competent or the perfect gift bit that makes you go :dubious: ? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-who-make-extremely-unreasonable-requests/504470.md?page=2)