# Cute girl at work – what to do? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 17, 2002, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410 "2002-07-17T14:09:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FunLvnCriminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@FunLvnCriminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FunLvnCriminal)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/21 "2002-07-17T18:27:02Z")
I say, try A or B. It a step in the direction you are wanting to go. Many options with those choices. C is the lesser choice IMO. Though if she is not up for A or B, C is the best then. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/22 "2002-07-17T19:10:50Z")
Allright, will attempt to go for it while keeping my cool – thats about the summary here, eh? 🙂 Beach invitation will be away later. Will let y’all know. Any insight into Thai culture gets double mileage! **Ogre** , sha! Tell me about it. There’s this video game – the name I won’t mention, since it’ll just date me – where the main character has to flip between the dark side and the light continuously, and during that transition, the screen would go wavy and gray and spotlit, and the sound of a truck doppler shifting past you on the stret would kick in; it’s like that when I talk to her, except with less oxygen. And I have a very foolish grin. Like right now! ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/23 "2002-07-17T20:41:48Z")
Ace, I didn’t mean act like a frightened puppy or pass her frickin’ notes in class! 😃 I just meant don’t freak her out by doing something too aggressive like sitckin’ your tongue down her throat! Sorry for the confusion - carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/24 "2002-07-17T22:26:18Z")
Well, good luck! If you are going to ask her to do something, don’t be too coy – make it clear you like her! Be really friendly, see how she responds. If she mentions the boyfriend more than once, take the hint and give up. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/25 "2002-07-18T00:19:51Z")
Hell, just do what I do!! Develop a big crush on her, never say anything and pine after her to the point where it makes your daily life a living hell. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/26 "2002-07-18T00:21:08Z")
Maybe this is way too simple Ask for her home telephone number and see if she gives it to you. If she does, she’s interested and call her up and ask her out. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/27 "2002-07-18T00:23:01Z")
By the way. ALL girls have boyfriends. ALL. Don’t let that stop you from asking! ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/28 "2002-07-18T00:25:54Z")
"I know a ton about her – and I’ve been inviting her to like, perfect stuff for us. " Thats nice but not quite what I said, what I said was to get HER to ask you to something. She might be that kind of lady. ---
**Author:** ![Gopher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gopher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gopher)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/29 "2002-07-18T02:58:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Develop a big crush on her, never say anything and pine after her to the point where it makes your daily life a living hell. Same here! Oh and that was posted by **interface2x**. I don’t know how to make it say “Originally posted by blah blah” mm…time to figure it out ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/30 "2002-07-18T05:19:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gopher \* > \*\* > > Same here! > > Oh and that was posted by **interface2x**. I don’t know how to make it say “Originally posted by blah blah” mm…time to figure it out \*\* Pssstt…Gopher. Next time you reply, if you want to quote someone, use the “quote” button at the lower right hand corner of their post. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/31 "2002-07-18T14:54:37Z")
Do women respond better if they are called a ‘beautiful woman’ rather than a ‘cute girl?’ ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/32 "2002-07-18T16:38:19Z")
Shoot, just get it over with, man! Here’s a helpful website: > **[FS Home - Fast Seduction](http://www.fastseduction.com)** > > \\
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\ **Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/33 "2002-07-18T18:10:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ace0Spades \* > \*\*Nuts to the friend zone – all ahead full! Should I: > > A) Invite her to the beach where I’ve arranged to meet a dozen of my friends for volleyball\*\* No. Too casual and friendly. You want action? It has to be something that can’t be miscontrued as “friendly.” > [@](#): > > **B) Find out the next Thai festival-type cultural event and inviter her to that** Definite possibilities. Does she typically go to cultural events? If she doesn’t, then inviting her to one is very cool. If she does…then find out if she is going and just show up. If she is there with her boyfriend then say ‘Hi’ and leave. If she isn’t there with her boyfriend (good sign for you that he doens’t go to these things with her) then she should be pretty excited that you’re there. Her first question will be “What are you doing here?” and you should respond with a “Well, it sounded pretty cool and I thought I’d see you here.” That should make things pretty clear. > [@](#): > > **C) Try another group lunch?** Again, too friendly. No chance to work you charms. Anyways **Ace** I wish you luck. I fully agree with **zoid** -find out where you stand. It will be difficult but 'tis better to know. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/34 "2002-07-18T21:28:45Z")
Well, the hamster stopped eating my posts. So, I forwarded her the invite for the Beach thing, with the following header in front: Thought you and your boyfriend (if you’ve forgiven him for the blockbuster incident 🙂 ) might enjoy this: And no immediate response. Much suckage, depression, etc., I stopped by this morning, and she seemed a little sad. Said she had a bridal shower and would be busy for a while in the future. Seemed like Mighty Casey had struck out when… She said “So, how old are you, anyway?” – out of the clear blue sky – I’m 28, she’s 24. Then she teased me about who I didn’t know at school, how everyone we know is getting married, etc. Much direct eye contact, smiles, etc. Will women ever stop making my head spin? AYYahhh. Thanks for the tip **Ol’Gaffer**. I’ve recruited a Thai-Amercian female friend for cultural insight. Maybe next week for that invite, we’ll see. Thanks for all the good wishes! ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/35 "2002-07-18T21:49:19Z")
Sorry, my take is that she probably isn’t interested romantically, but thinks you’re nice and doesn’t want you to feel bad. Hence, the “sorry, too busy to do that thing you invited me to, but how are you?” bit. Welcome to the Friend Zone. ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/36 "2002-07-18T21:52:11Z")
**Ace0Spades** When you do “lay it on the line” be up front about it. None of this “the other person must express how they feel before I’m willing to express how I feel”. Just take it one notch up at a time… and stop when the wierdness level gets too high. Start with the plan you’ve got to get some time where it’s just the two of you. Then admit to finding her attractive (I don’t think i’d use the phrase “cute girl” though) and that if her boyfriend ever messes up to the point she cannot forgive him, you’re interested. (Yes, that’s you WAAAYYYYY out on a limb.) (Give yourself a safety net if the following is true.) Make sure to add that you are in no hurry, have no plans on holding your breath for that to happen, but that you just needed to tell her that. If you think you’ll be comfortable maintaining the friendship at it’s current level with that admission out in the open, say so. DO NOT STALK. And showing up at a Thai Cultural event in the hopes that she’d be there and then walking up and saying that’s why you are there really sounds creepy to me. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/37 "2002-07-18T22:37:30Z")
Oh for complete Pete’s sake! Youth really is wasted on the young. Ask her out FORMALLY for a date - no wishy washy inviting the boyfriend or sending her information about events. Ask her out and don’t be ashamed that you are asking her out. You are doing nothing wrong. If that is too direct for you then when you see her next say these words EXACTLY “What is your home telephone number?”. Then shut up. If she gives it, she is interested. If she doesn’t (like asking “why?” or babbles about anything) then forget it and look for someone interested. If she’s interested, she is. If she isn’t, she isn’t. If she is not interested there is nothing you can do to get her interested. Repeat - If she isn’t interested, it is out of your control. Pining for someone unavailable is not healthy mentally or physically, is bad for your self esteem and is a big waste of your time since you could be looking for someone who is interested. OK?? ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410/38 "2002-07-18T22:43:25Z")
I also disagree with a previous poster. Her asking you personal questions, smiling and direct eye contact is a definite possibility she is interested. She may just being friendly but I would say there is a significant chance she is interested. But you NEED TO ACT! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cute-girl-at-work-what-to-do/119410.md?page=1)