Cute things kids have done?

In My Humble Opinion
21

When my younger brother was three or four, Dad had him with him in the tractor while he was spreading manure, which was always a special treat. The manure spreader broke down while they were in the field, so they had to turn back.

They take the spreader back to the barn, and Dad tells my brother to go up to the house because it’s going to be a while before they can go back out again.

So, Mom meets my brother in the yard, and he’s absolutely boiling mad, stomping up to the house in his Batman rainboots and muttering under his breath. She gets closer to him and hears this:

“Bitch. stompstomp Bitch, bitch, bitch. stompstompstomp”

She stops and asks him what’s wrong. He waves towards the barn and says, “That goddamn thing!” and stomps his way into the house, saying, “Bitch, bitch, bitch,” all the way.

Mom said she was so surprised that she didn’t have the ability to scold him for his language.

22

I have two nieces, whom I saw over the Christmas holidays.

The younger niece is an adorable chubby blond with pigtails. She’s about a year and a half, she says some words, but not a whole lot of them. The older niece is two years older than her and much more verbal. (they are sisters.

On Christmas Eve, Grandma and Granpa needed to be at the church about 45 minutes before the service was due to start, in order to practice/warm-up. So Mommy, Daddy and I agreed that we would bring my nieces to the church just in time for the service. Both nieces wanted to put their shoes on and go to Grandma’s and Grandpa’s church. (As in go with Grandma and Grandpa to church, not come later).

During the service, both little girls were very good about sitting quietly during the service. At one point, the younger one was sitting on her daddy’s lap, watching a skilled violinist play the offeratory. When the song ended, niece said “Doh!”-- right between the end of the song, and the beginning of the applause. It was one of those not quite talking yet expressions of awe and admiration.

Daddy (my brother) didn’t feel well one day. When my older niece figured this out while we were sitting at the dinner table, she promptly bowed her head and prayed (something like this) “Jesus, please make my daddy feel better. Amen” Then she looked right at Daddy and said “You feel better now, Daddy”. We had to explain to her that sometims it takes a little longer than that for God to answer prayers.

23

When Number One Nephew was ~3, he and I were playing with some plush blocks I’d given his little brother. The game was “build tower, watch nephew growl and charge through it.” My father came over to join in – and immediately got scolded; he hadn’t stacked them with all the picture sides matching up, and in numerical order.

I remarked to my SiL that it looked like we had another engineer in the family (her father and I, both engineers) – since No. 1 and I hadn’t even had to discuss the “rules” that my father was oblivious to.

My SiL laughed, and told me that his dayschool teachers thought the same thing – No. 1 kept disappearing during paint time. They’d find him, behind his easel, busily taking it apart while the other kiddies were finger-painting.

As we were laughing about this, No. 1 turned to me, and gravely told me “They put them together wrong, Uncle Kyle.” No doubt.

24

When my oldest daughter was just learning to walk, she came up to me carrying a toy in each hand. Aha, I thought, let’s offer her another toy, and see which one she drops. When I offered her the toy, she opened her mouth!

That’s when I knew I was outgunned. :slight_smile:

25

When I told my oldest son we were going to have a new baby soon, he immediately packed a bag (including blanket, bottle, stuffed toy duck, and a diaper) for his 13-month-old brother, to make room for the new baby. He set the bag next to the front door. And then he gleefully waved bye-bye to his existing brother, who had no idea why he was about to be booted out the door.

My middle son, when he was about 15 months, was upset because he was put in bed before what he felt was his rightful bedtime. After 10 minutes of yelling “Dad?.. Dad? … Dad!.. Daddy!” he finally got fed up, and bellowed “DAVE!” That got his dad’s attention, right quick. :stuck_out_tongue:

26

My daughter is three, and has a whole host of pretend friends, several pretend dogs, and for a while spent her days playing with an imaginary potato. Whenever one of us had to go out, she would say “that’s ok, I’ll play with pretend-mommy”.

Around her 3rd birthday, she was talking about hoe Pretend Toby was running along beside the car, when my wife had the following exchange with her…

Mommy: “You haven’t played with Pretend Mommy or Pretend Daddy in a while, have you?”
Kid: “No, they’re gone”
Mommy: “Really? What happened to them?”
Kid: “I ate them. I eat pretend people.”

27

Ahh, kids say and do the funnirst things sometimes, don’t they?

My Little Guy, age two, was getting out of the bath one day, and while getting dressed, he was pointing various things out in the bathroom, toilet, stool, bathtub, towel rack, and sink.
“Can’t get up on the sink mommy.”
“Why not?”
“Cause I’ll fall off and hurt my head.”

I think I must use that phrase too much.

And while Nikki was three herself, my sister was watching her one day, and the sherriff in town was there checking about a complaint made, and Nikki walked through the living room…“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Yeah, kids are very apt to repeat the things you say.

28

Let’s see…

My oldest child (a girl, now nearly 12):

Called her best friend a dickhead (not knowing it was an insult–because when she saw it on Liar, Liar, everyone was laughing).

Mentioned that riding her bike over a pile of bricks had hurt her nutsack (a term picked up from same friend, who in turn had heard it from her same-aged uncle).

After someone on TV mentioned them, she asked me what “minnows” were. When I told her, she thought for a few seconds and said, “OH!! She means MINNERS!” (Please check my location, this will then make sense!)

My second child (a boy, nearly 7):

At about age 3, walked in on his dad as he was exiting the shower and drying off. Talked to daddy a minute or so, then said, very matter-of-factly, “You’ve got a BIG doober (his toddler term for penis)!” BTW, I was just outside the door when this happened, and I couldn’t breathe too well for several minutes, as I was howling with laughter!

Not too long after the above incident, told his dad–who has a bald spot–“You’ve got a hole in your hair!” Again, I nearly wet my pants laughing!

His older sister HATES the Vonage ads because of the annoying song it uses. The ad came on one evening and DD expressed the usual exasperation with it. Being the nice mom I am, I muted it. I started talking to my hubby, and suddenly, I hear a cry of outrage from my daughter and my son is laughing his butt off. He had quietly gone to sit beside her and in a low voice had been singing, “Woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo!” over and over, until she noticed.

My youngest (girl, nearly 5):

Called her dad a big old bald headed boy.

When told by daddy that the hair on his chest was from the hair on his head falling out, she thought a moment and asked, “How did it get stuck in there?”

Son just loves the song “Honkytonk Badonkadonk” and sings it constantly. One day he’s singing it and she’s listening, when the line, “Oohwee, shut my mouth, slap your grandma!” comes up. She huffily said, “I will NOT slap Grandma!” She could not understand the enusing laughter!

29

Two thanksgivings ago my cousin Eddie was 2 years old and his family was visiting grandma for the holidays. We were all standing in the kitchen except my 17 year old brother, who is laying on the couch. From the back my brother and my uncle look enough alike-same color hair, same height, etc. So my cousin goes running over and grabs my brother who looks up and startles the crap out of Eddie, sending him screaming towards the kitchen away from the father impersonator.

30

Told by the minister at my parents’ church. When her son was almost two, he didn’t like taking naps. One day, she put him down for a nap, and he called for her. She ignored him. Finally, he yelled “Mommy Middlename Lastname”. It was hysterical. He’d picked up on the fact that when she called him by all three of his names, she was really mad at him. He was expressing that same emotion to her. However, he was not old enough to be aware that his middle name and last name are not the same as hers. OK, last name probably is the same, but the middle name isn’t.

31

:eek:

32

My daughter (2 1/2) discoved cookies over the holiday season. I said to her one day, “no more cookies…you’ve already had a few.” She says, “I don’t want a few, I want MANY!”

I guess she was paying attention when we read her “opposites” book! :slight_smile:

33

Sister: “We had so much fun with the new baby cousins - they wiggled and giggled and cuted all the way home.”

34

When my daughters were young, we lived in an apartment with a small water heater which sometimes limited whether the girls could take a bath or not. My eldest daughter was around 6 and wanted to take a bath. I told her we didn’t have enough hot water. She asked, “Next time the man brings hot water, can we have him bring a lot more?”

My grandson Michael turned 2 in September. It was summer so I was wearing shorts. We were on the bed playing when I ripped a non-silent, but very deadly fart (hey, it was just me and the grandbaby!). He lifted up the leg of my shorts and looked at me and asked, “You poop?”

Michael has also learned to say “excuse me” when you want someone to get out of the way. He tries to get our Golden Retrievers to move by saying, “Excuse me, puppies.”

35

We were visiting relatives once when I was 9-ish. I had a little cousin who was about 5 or 6 years old at the time. Feeling particularly mean one day, I started acting really nice to her, telling her she was very pretty and smart and possessed a whole host of other charming qualities. I told her there was a word for this: gullible. She was so thrilled to learn of this new word and what it meant to her that she went around proudly yelling out to everyone present that she was gullible. That was cute.

36

The kids in question are five years older now, but at the time they were three. We were outside for the morning preschoolers’ recess and a little girl noticed that she could see a truck on the nearby train tracks instead of a train. Like a lot of little ones, she was still struggling with some letter sounds… “Look! It’s a fuck!” She exclaimed, pointing.

A little boy, Tony, standing next to her looked shocked amd told her, “No, Mary! We’re not supost to say ‘fuck’ at school!” :slight_smile:

37

I’ve told this one before, but it’s still one of my favorites. And I should preface it by explaining that my daughter was (still is) extremely ahead of the game vocabulary-wise.

When my daughter was about three (she’s 27 now and has produced a granddaughter for me!) my mom and I were taking her to the movies. She’d been on a field trip that day with her daycare center to the Fort Richardson Animal Museum. It has a lot of different staged scenes with taxidermied (is that a word?) Alaskan animals.

We asked her “well how was your field trip to the animal museum”? She said (very bored and blase’) “oh, it was just a bunch of dead animals”.

My mom and I totally cracked up, the combination of the cute little innocent baby voice and the sophisticated blase’ attitude were hilarious. She sat there very disgusted and annoyed with us and finally put her little hands up and said “It’s not like they were flat on their backs or anything”.

Mom had to pull the car over.

Like most things of this nature, you just had to be there. But it was way cute.