# Cutting Off A Girl's Hair: Is This Ever OK? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 20, 2010, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859 "2010-06-20T08:51:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/201 "2010-06-23T06:25:43Z")
> [@Perciful](#): > > If you get drunk in a bar you need to accept the consequences of any number of bad things that can happen to you. Yes, she was clearly asking to have her hair cut. I’m sure women who get raped in bar parking lots are asking for that, too. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/202 "2010-06-23T07:19:36Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > You don’t have to understand why someone would value their hair. You could accept it, though, with or without understanding. > [@even\_sven](#): > > I still don’t “get” it, as my views obviously seem pretty reasonable to me. But clearly I am in the minority so I’ll just have to accept that at face value. Exactly what I did, no? I had no idea that my views were so out of line and that my opinion would be so far out that it’d offend people. Consider me educated. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/203 "2010-06-23T07:33:46Z")
Any update? Did Jen get it fixed? How does it look? ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/204 "2010-06-23T09:28:56Z")
I could probably go to a salon in Chicago and spend $300 or i could go to a local spa and use that cash for a spa day. I think what Susan did was asinine, unjustified and recklessly stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/205 "2010-06-23T11:45:42Z")
Geeeeez! I go to work and I come back to a heated debate about a mythical $300 haircut Jen has never had. Jen got her hair cut today; she also got a “color/shine” treatment. If she cried at the salon (which she was worried about) she didn’t confess. I didn’t see her today but she did send me a picture; her hair looks thick and shiny and fabulous. Five inches shorter… But still fabulous. She paid the $80 bucks plus tip herself; she has yet to talk/text/contact Susan about any of it. Susan did text her a dramatic (and IMHO) dramatically late apology today. Jen thinks that Susan is a waste of time at this point, and her apology…such as it was…was insufficient and a bit self-aggrandizing. She said “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.” What’s with the “if?” As if normal people wouldn’t get their feelings hurt when you whack off their braid? She also offered Jen “champagne…gold…maybe fake gold? But I should make it up to you.” It was a bizarre and troubling “apology” and Jen is in agreement with me that we should wash our hands of her and her insanity. This is, for those in doubt, only one of many troubling incidents where Susan is concerned; this was the last straw. A big straw…but nonetheless the last straw. It’s difficult, regardless of how outraged you feel, to really and actually stop talking to somebody you’ve been friends with for years; Jen and I are both feeling strained over it. Obviously Jen more than me…but in case anybody’s wondering why I’m strained, Susan was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my wedding next year. (Jen is maid of honor.) So it’s awkward as hell all the way around. You put yourself out there and you let stuff go and you make excuses and you try to see the best instead of the obvious worst…and in the end you have to wake up and realize that some people are just toxic. And you can’t help them. And more than that, you don’t want to help them. You’re done. You’re over it. You’ve finally faced up to the truth about this person you thought was your friend. Like I said, last straw. It’s not good. It’s just inevitable. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/206 "2010-06-23T13:05:39Z")
At the risk of Godwinizing the thread…look at newsreels of the liberation of France and the Low Countries. While the Allied tanks are rolling through the streets and people are cheering and waving flags, right while it’s happening, people are pulling out of the crowd women who collaborated with the Nazis, and shaving all their hair off. Social ostracism, taunting, and even beatings may follow, but _the first thing they do_ to their perceived archenemies is cut off their hair. And the women being shorn are weeping uncontrollably. This is a recurring image from that war, in multiple countries – the shearing off of the hair of the women of the losing side (the same thing was done to women forced into the concentration camps). The purpose is to humiliate and mark the losers. Just a little historical context to consider when assessing this incident. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/207 "2010-06-23T13:17:09Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Exactly what I did, no? I had no idea that my views were so out of line and that my opinion would be so far out that it’d offend people. Consider me educated. Sheesh. You were fine until the “another planet” and “enjoy your outrage” comments. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/208 "2010-06-23T13:22:47Z")
> [@Audrey\_Levins](#): > > Five inches shorter… So it’s a total of 9 inches with the 4 inch bit that Susan cut off? What length is it now - shoulder, mid-back? Don’t know why I’m so curious. Guess I need to get a life… ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/209 "2010-06-23T13:27:39Z")
> [@Audrey\_Levins](#): > > She paid the $80 bucks plus tip herself; she has yet to talk/text/contact Susan about any of it. Susan did text her a dramatic (and IMHO) dramatically late apology today. Jen thinks that Susan is a waste of time at this point, and her apology…such as it was…was insufficient and a bit self-aggrandizing. She said “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.” What’s with the “if?” As if normal people wouldn’t get their feelings hurt when you whack off their braid? > > She also offered Jen “champagne…gold…maybe fake gold? But I should make it up to you.” Susan is nuts. She’s trying to minimize what she did. Were I Jen, I’d send a text message saying something to the effect of: You can’t make this up to me. What you did was a horrifying act and you are attempting to minimize it. It is not okay to assault someone’s person like that. Do not contact me again. She could add something like: If I decide that I can trust you when I’m around you again, I’ll contact you. > [@Audrey\_Levins](#): > > Susan was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my wedding next year. I would talk to Susan and say that you can’t trust to be alone with her prior to the wedding. That if you have your hair done up, that this could send her into a jealous rage that would conclude in damaging of your person. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/210 "2010-06-23T13:28:22Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > Have you ever read any of her other posts??? > > This is par for the course for good ol’ even sven, as apparently what she dosen’t know isn’t worth knowing… If anyone else wants to to judge **sven** and her opinions, please take it to the Pit. People obviously are finding it difficult to disagree with her without resorting to snipes. Some of you have characterized her opinion in a non-insulting way, so I’m not going to stomp back in here and start issuing Big Fat Warnings. HOWEVER, heed my instructions here, please, and confine your remarks to the content of people’s posts without casting aspersions upon their characters. Should you feel the need to do that, as I say, take it to the Pit. **Ellen Cherry IMHO Moderator** ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/211 "2010-06-23T13:30:30Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > This is a recurring image from that war, in multiple countries – the shearing off of the hair of the women of the losing side (the same thing was done to women forced into the concentration camps). The purpose is to humiliate and mark the losers. Didn’t they also cut off the lion’s mane in “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” for the same reason. All Samson-and-Delilah-y. Cutting off your vanquished enemy’s hair is a pretty old symbolic tradition. > [@Audrey Levins](#): > > Susan did text her a dramatic (and IMHO) dramatically late apology today. You’re shittin’ me. She _texted_ and apology? Oh, f\*\*k off! (Not you, **Audrey**. I mean Susan.) A text apology just makes me want to give her a smack. An in-person apology or a phone at the very least is warranted. No impersonal text or email crap. A Hallmark card, “Sorry I’m a psychobitch”, with flowers, maybe. But a _text message_? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/212 "2010-06-23T13:38:53Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Exactly what I did, no? I had no idea that my views were so out of line and that my opinion would be so far out that it’d offend people. Consider me educated. Sheesh. It’s not your views that are out of line, it’s the snotty judgey little comments you throw in when stating your views. It’s the not-particularly-subtle intimations that your view is the only one that a reasonable person with properly-aligned values could possibly hold, that the people who disagree with your view are bad/wrong/shallow/stupid/unenlightened/whatever. People find _that_ offensive. I’m sorry, but you don’t get to insult people and then pull the wounded fawn routine when they get insulting back. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/213 "2010-06-23T13:38:55Z")
Everyone knows you don’t text message apology! It sounds like she’s being pretty flippant about it to me. Who needs this girl? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/214 "2010-06-23T13:58:54Z")
> [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > So it’s a total of 9 inches with the 4 inch bit that Susan cut off? What length is it now - shoulder, mid-back? I don’t think it’s 4 + 5 = 9, I think it’s 4 +1 = 5. Sounds to me like the stylist just had to take off another inch to make it right. All in all, not a bad outcome. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/215 "2010-06-23T14:00:19Z")
> [@Meatros](#): > > Were I Jen, I’d send a text message saying something to the effect of: Were it me, I wouldn’t text a thing. Cold, stony silence is the only reply I’d send. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/216 "2010-06-23T14:09:30Z")
Are you planning on dropping Susan from the bridesmaid role? A sad circumstance, but I think you and Jen have done the right thing all round. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/217 "2010-06-23T15:33:56Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Were it me, I wouldn’t text a thing. Cold, stony silence is the only reply I’d send. Can you use rollover minutes for that? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/218 "2010-06-23T15:42:30Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Can you use rollover minutes for that? You can, but you’ll have to cut it short. ---
**Author:** ![Brandus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@Brandus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brandus)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/219 "2010-06-23T15:57:34Z")
Jen is not exactly free of blame either. She has perfect and luxurious hair that everyone is jealous of, and goes around complaining about her split ends. She should be more humble since it could be perceived as rubbing it in people’s face. It’s like hanging out with a guy in a wheelchair and then complaining that you’re tired of walking. Jen has like 2 months of a less-than-ideal haircut. Some people have to get their arms amputated and she complains about having to wear a sassy Natalie Portman haircut rather than a Angelina Jolie haircut. Talk about a first world problem. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859/220 "2010-06-23T16:00:38Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Ok, well apparently I just live on another planet than anyone else does when it comes to hair. I can accept that. Enjoy your outrage! Honest, totally non-snarky question that I think will clarify things: Is it the $300 price, or the fact that the original suggestion was that Jen deliberately run up the price? If Jen normally got $300 haircuts, would you be ok with her getting her normal haircut or would you feel like she should go “down market” to be mre in line with what Susan thinks is normal? I agree that running up the price would be dickish, but if it’s what she normally does, I think it’s appropriate. Analogously: I had one friend push another in the pool when he had his i-phone in his pocket. She paid for the replacement iphone, which was right and proper. If she’d only offered to by him a phone like hers–a cheap model–that would have been dickish. But if he’d had a cheap phone and demanded an iphone, that would be dickish, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cutting-off-a-girls-hair-is-this-ever-ok/543859.md?page=12)