# Cyber sex **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 8, 2006, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534 "2006-02-08T13:58:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/1 "2006-02-08T13:58:25Z")
Is there anything wrong with me liking online sex? Some of you might know that I had bad problems with my husband. We have since split up and someone I have known for years, online has been a great friend to me through all of this. He’s very much alone too. Somewhere down the line, we began flirting and it has turned into full blown online sex. It will never become anything else, we’re in different states and we both have a lot of other things going on right now, but I’m having a lot of fun with this. It this really weird? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/2 "2006-02-08T14:09:55Z")
Yes, it’s weird; probably quite common though. If nobody is being abused and nobody has any unrealistic expectations, I can’t see why it would be wrong. I’m kind of curious as to the precise mechanics of it all, but I’m sure you probably don’t want to explain that; I’m not sure that I won’t end up wishing I didn’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/3 "2006-02-08T14:44:42Z")
well, it’s not the real thing…which i’m sure you are very aware of. but if you like it, go on with it. ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/4 "2006-02-08T14:47:37Z")
I certainly don’t see the harm in it (assuming your both single)…but don’t automatically asssume it’ll never become anything else, even if geography makes it difficult. Or better yet, don’t assume he thinks it’ll never become anything else. ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/5 "2006-02-08T14:54:40Z")
could you define C.S. ??? any devices with feedback to the other party involved (read about suits or so iirc) - or just a webcam? thx ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/6 "2006-02-08T15:05:20Z")
Yeah, is this webcams or one-handed typing or those new-fangled USB sex toys? -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/7 "2006-02-08T15:12:08Z")
This is becoming embarrassing. No toys, no webcams, we’ve both seen pictures of each other, though. I’m trying to think of a good way to define this. We get each other very turned on, and…take care of ourselves from there, while still talking to each other. He knows it’s not really going anywhere either. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/8 "2006-02-08T15:13:21Z")
> [@Al128](#): > > could you define C.S. ??? > > any devices with feedback to the other party involved (read about suits or so iirc) - or just a webcam? > > thx Cyber sex in it’s classic form is two people engaging in text based role-playing: “I take off my pants” and the like. Lots of one handed typing. Actually, it’s easier to give an example than try to explain: [here you go.](http://www.adamchance.com/funny.htm) ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/9 "2006-02-08T15:19:22Z")
99.999% is BS in my opinion, with one or both parties either misrepresenting their gender and/or what they are actually doing. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/10 "2006-02-08T15:26:25Z")
> [@Al128](#): > > (read about suits or so iirc) The suit was a fake. Lisa Palac came up with it for a photoshoot for her new magazine (name escapes me). It was just a lot of junk that looked futuristic and sexual. It didn’t do anything. She wrote a memoir, where she pointed out that the suit got bigger play than the magazine. Since that title escapes me, too, I would have to say she’s right. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/11 "2006-02-08T15:30:31Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > 99.999% is BS in my opinion, with one or both parties either misrepresenting their gender and/or what they are actually doing. The internet! Where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/12 "2006-02-08T15:32:54Z")
> [@Tomcat](#): > > Yeah, is this webcams or one-handed typing or those new-fangled USB sex toys? I just _know_ I’m going to regret asking, but … _USB sex toys???_ And **dragongirl** , if you’re having fun and nobody’s getting hurt, what’s the problem? Enjoy yourself. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/13 "2006-02-08T15:53:19Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > 99.999% is BS in my opinion, with one or both parties either misrepresenting their gender and/or what they are actually doing. Oh bollocks. Everyone’s online these day. It’s difficult for all 99% of us to lie all the time. Everyone’s online and like everyone does we talk about sex. I started out with my SO online…and he turned out to be doing just what he said he was doing. And…he had bollocks, and just where I wanted them. Anyway, dragon, no I don’t think there’s anything weird. What’s weird about wanting to get off and having someone else help you? How is it weirder than phone sex? Or…er…um…trying to think back before current technology…masturbating to a well written letter? It’s just people doing what they can to stimulate another person. That can’t be bad. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/14 "2006-02-08T15:56:07Z")
> [@Silentgoldfish](#): > > Cyber sex in it’s classic form is two people engaging in text based role-playing: “I take off my pants” and the like. Lots of one handed typing. > > Actually, it’s easier to give an example than try to explain: [here you go.](http://www.adamchance.com/funny.htm) The invoice for the new monitor will be along shortly. 😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/15 "2006-02-08T15:57:46Z")
> [@Silentgoldfish](#): > > The internet! Where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents. And the sheep are afraid. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/16 "2006-02-08T16:04:07Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > I just _know_ I’m going to regret asking, but … _USB sex toys???_ Errr…I’m not sure I’m allowed to link to an example, but yes… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/17 "2006-02-08T16:20:39Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Errr…I’m not sure I’m allowed to link to an example, but yes… It’s easily googled. and there’s even a Dope thread about it. Essentially a boy or girl purchase their respective toys (mechanized dildo for the girl, cocksocket for the boy. Each toy has sensors and motors and other stimulation simulation apparatus that communicate via internet and provide…well, it’s kind of a mechanical feedback system. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/18 "2006-02-08T16:28:19Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > It’s easily googled. and there’s even a Dope thread about it. Essentially a boy or girl purchase their respective toys (mechanized dildo for the girl, cocksocket for the boy. Each toy has sensors and motors and other stimulation simulation apparatus that communicate via internet and provide…well, it’s kind of a mechanical feedback system. I can’t decide if that’s just plain wrong, or absolutely fucking brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/19 "2006-02-08T16:31:59Z")
Well, hey, if the both of you are enjoying it, what’s the problem? You’re both consenting adults. Plus, there’s no risk of pregnancy or STDs! I myself could never get into cybering though. It’s just too awkward for me with the way you need to describe things… Dude226: I AM TOUCHING YOUR BOOB Chick001: I moaned ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534/20 "2006-02-08T16:37:36Z")
Nothing at all wrong with it. You’re sharing a mutual fantasy with a willing partner – can’t see the harm to anyone. Is it weird? C’mon. This doesn’t even rate a tiny blip on the ol’ weird radar. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyber-sex/343534.md?page=2)