# Cyberbullying?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [December 4, 2006, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813 "2006-12-04T15:51:31Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/1 "2006-12-04T15:51:31Z")

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Our local school system is having a workshop on Cyberbullying:

“Cyberbullying: A Workshop for Parents/ Guardians on the Risks Involved and  
Protective Factors, sponsored by the School Counseling and Guidance  
Department, will be held on Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 7:15 PM in the  
Middle School Forum. A guest speaker from the Virginia  
Department of State Police will speak with parents of middle and high  
school students on the risks involved with Internet usage (specifically  
cyberbullying) and protective factors to help prevent children from being  
bullied on the Internet. This workshop is not intended for children, but  
for parents and guardians only.”

How can you be bullyed over the Internet? If it’s IMs, just block the user. If it’s e-mails, just filter the messages, or delete them. Seems like much ado over nothing.

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**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/2 "2006-12-04T16:02:10Z")

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I don’t know much, but as I understand it, cyberbullying includes classmates spreading e-mail rumors about you or posting embarrassing things about you on their own websites. There’s a lot less you can do about that than with stuff that comes directly to you.

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**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/3 "2006-12-04T16:23:01Z")

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13 year old [Ryan Halligan](http://www.ryanpatrickhalligan.org/) hanged himself as a result of cyberbullying.

Then there is [Olivia Gardner](http://www.marinij.com/ci_3643735) who has (or had) an internet hate page dedicated to her, all because she suffered an epileptic seizure at school one day.

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**Author:** ![hey\_alright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/90ced4/32.png) [@hey\_alright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hey_alright)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/4 "2006-12-04T16:26:42Z")

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Shit can get crazy with the kids what with the Myspace and all.

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**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/5 "2006-12-04T18:23:46Z")

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Cyberbullying isn’t just confined to kids. Some adults here on the SDMB routinely engage in this also. There is a certain web site (The Site Which Must Not Be Named) created by some anonymous dopers that is dedicated to talking vicious trash about other dopers.

The kids at least have somewhat of an excuse - they’re kids. The hateful adults bashing fellow dopers, however, should be truly ashamed.

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**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/6 "2006-12-04T21:54:18Z")

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Well, I guess the Cyberbullying probably starts with regular teasing and bullying and the cyber part is just a manifestation of that. I could see how defaming web pages would hurt kids unless they were very thick-skinned.

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**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/7 "2006-12-05T00:40:14Z")

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[QUOTE=nyctea scandiaca]

The kids at least have somewhat of an excuse - they’re kids. The hateful adults bashing fellow dopers, however, should be truly ashamed.  
[/QUOTE]  
Nah! They have the same excuse. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/8 "2006-12-05T00:53:29Z")

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How is gossiping about people bullying? It might not be a nice thing to do, but it’s not like, “Give me your lunch money or I’ll beat you up.”

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**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/9 "2006-12-05T01:00:00Z")

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[QUOTE=Captain Amazing]  
How is gossiping about people bullying? It might not be a nice thing to do, but it’s not like, “Give me your lunch money or I’ll beat you up.”  
[/QUOTE]

How about “give me your lunch money or I’ll tell the whole sixth grade that you’re a slut?”

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**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/10 "2006-12-05T01:05:49Z")

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Yea, I guess it’s just extortion by another name. But if I’m going to tell everybody you’re a slut, does it really matter whether I do it face to face or on the internet?

And what if I decide to go around telling people you’re a slut, not because I want anything from you, but just because I think you’re a slut and want to talk to other people about how slutty you are.

\*The “you” and “I” in the above post were a generalized “you” and “I” I have no particular knowledge of **Enugent’s** slutiness or lack thereof.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/11 "2006-12-05T01:06:16Z")

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[QUOTE=Captain Amazing]  
How is gossiping about people bullying? It might not be a nice thing to do, but it’s not like, “Give me your lunch money or I’ll beat you up.”  
[/QUOTE]

Let’s see, I’ve seen people spread gossip about people accusing them of various crimes, sexual indiscretions, mental illness, physical deformities. I’ve seen people accused of being child molestors, and/or abusers, for example.

You don’t see how that would hurt someone?

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**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/12 "2006-12-05T01:12:35Z")

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[QUOTE=Captain Amazing]  
How is gossiping about people bullying? It might not be a nice thing to do, but it’s not like, “Give me your lunch money or I’ll beat you up.”  
[/QUOTE]

I did some data recovery work to retrieve chat logs from a machine owned by a 14 y/o boy who was arrested for threats made in Yahoo IM.

One of my more interesting calls.

Kid could be a doper with a vocabulary like I saw in those logs.

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**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/13 "2006-12-05T02:08:25Z")

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[QUOTE=Guinastasia]  
Let’s see, I’ve seen people spread gossip about people accusing them of various crimes, sexual indiscretions, mental illness, physical deformities. I’ve seen people accused of being child molestors, and/or abusers, for example.

You don’t see how that would hurt someone?  
[/QUOTE]

Sure, it would hurt somebody. But it’s not bullying…it’s not physically hurting them or threatening them with physical pain. It’s hurting their feelings, it’s hurting their self esteem or their sense of self-worth, maybe, but it’s not physically painful.

It’s bad, but it’s not bullying.

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**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/14 "2006-12-05T02:10:36Z")

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How can someone be bullied over the Internet? Ask the “dog poop” girl here in South Korea. Her life was made a living hell when pictures of her critter’s mess on the subway car were plastered all over the 'net. The reason people got upset with her was because she just left the mess there.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/15 "2006-12-05T02:20:01Z")

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[QUOTE=Captain Amazing]  
Sure, it would hurt somebody. But it’s not bullying…it’s not physically hurting them or threatening them with physical pain. It’s hurting their feelings, it’s hurting their self esteem or their sense of self-worth, maybe, but it’s not physically painful.

It’s bad, but it’s not bullying.  
[/QUOTE]

Bullying is not just physical threats. Most people I know were the targets of bullies who never even laid a finger on them.

Methinks you are defining the word “bully” far too narrowly.

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**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/16 "2006-12-05T03:13:02Z")

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[QUOTE=Monty]  
How can someone be bullied over the Internet? Ask the “dog poop” girl here in South Korea.  
[/QUOTE]

[Here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_poop_girl) is a handy Wikipedia article about the case. There’s a link to her apology there also (in Korean, of course).

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**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/17 "2006-12-05T04:06:32Z")

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There’s also the aspect of people saying things anonymously that they wouldn’t dare say to their victim’s face.

Blocking IMs does nothing if the bully changes usernames. Ditto for e-mails. And what with zero-tolerance policies, all it takes is a Photoshopped image of someone appearing to do something illegal to make that person’s life a living hell with school and family, if not with the law.

Robin

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**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/18 "2006-12-05T04:30:03Z")

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[QUOTE=Captain Amazing]  
Sure, it would hurt somebody. But it’s not bullying…it’s not physically hurting them or threatening them with physical pain. It’s hurting their feelings, it’s hurting their self esteem or their sense of self-worth, maybe, but it’s not physically painful.

It’s bad, but it’s not bullying.  
[/QUOTE]

Some the things **Guin** mentioned are slander or lible though. That is illegal, and a form of bullying\*\*\*\*\* too, since it’s used to cause emotional distress and harass the person. The loss of one’s personal reputation is not a thing to be lightly dismissed, and there are legal recourses a victim of slander or lible can take to remedy it. [Here](http://www.bullyonline.org/related/cyber.htm) is a page from the bullyonline site about cyberbullying.

\*\*\*\*\*See the full list [here](http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm), these are the especially pertinent bits:

[QUOTE=bullyonline]  
is quick to discredit and neutralise anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviors (That, or who don’t fall for thier act.)

may pursue a vindictive vendetta against anyone who dares to held them accountable, perhaps using others’ resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and organisations in pursuance of the vendetta

is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account (Or who stands up to them and doesn’t give them what they want.)

**poisons peoples’ minds by manipulating their perceptions**  
[/QUOTE]  
Bracketed text in dark red font is my thoughts, and not part of bullyonline.

All of these things can be applied to some extent to what is done by cyberbullies online, that is what the aggressor is doing. Even those bullies who shrug and say they harass their victims “just for kicks” still have some of those traits.

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**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/19 "2006-12-05T04:50:32Z")

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FWIW, bullying done by boys tends to involve smacking the other person around.

Bullying done by girls tends to involve defemation of character, alienation of affection, etc. etc.

Many psychologists actually think female bullying is worse in terms of visciousness, long term effects for the victim, etc.

YMMV and all that.

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**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813/20 "2006-12-05T15:01:35Z")

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Quit Pitting yourself…quit Pitting yourself…

[QUOTE=MsRobyn]

And what with zero-tolerance policies, all it takes is a Photoshopped image of someone appearing to do something illegal to make that person’s life a living hell with school and family, if not with the law.

[/QUOTE]

I think you overestimate most people’s skill with Photoshop. Most Photoshopped fakes are fairly obvious and look like a yearbook photo pasted onto a magazine ad.

Still, even if it’s an obvious fake, most people don’t like pictures of their head on some dude having sex with a donkey.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cyberbullying/382813.md?page=2)
