# Czarcasm, tamaraqueenofgoths, and Aesiron **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 23, 2004, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561 "2004-04-23T03:03:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/41 "2004-04-23T21:22:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Average # of erections per day for a man: 11 Holy crap I better get busy! I Haven’t had a single erection today. I can’t think of a day I had 11 erections. I guess I am below average not jus in intelligence but also in manliness… 😉 > [@](#): > > Me thinks I’m being woooshed Me thinks one of us is, I am just not sure which one of us it is… 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/42 "2004-04-23T21:28:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour > Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour Still not sure which I’d rather get hit by. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/43 "2004-04-23T21:37:37Z")
> [@BigDaiv](#): > > [Big enough for you](http://www.knona.com/willy.htm) ( **TMI** , ya think?) Heh heh… It’s the Free-est Willy of them all! Oooo, ick, I just noticed the wetsuit guy has a ziplock baggie! Wonder how “Whale Spooge Collector” looks on a resume. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/44 "2004-04-23T21:40:18Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > I’m stunned, a normal post that makes sense and doesn’t almost get you banned. > > Keep up the good work. Thanks World Eater. If you knew the lengths to which I have gone to be permitted to hang aroud, I think you would be amazed. I even gave up booze, which I think a brief review of my posts will verify. I cannot express my gratitude to all Dopers for helping me see just what an ass I am. It sounds silly but SDMB has practically saved my marriage (thanks to some good advice from “Really Not All That Bright” and “Not Mr. Know It All”) Thanks to all Dopers (even Lynn Bodoni) I feel like you all have helped me out of a rut! I hope to become an asset to this community instead of a charity case. (I know it will take time, but maybe someday…) ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/45 "2004-04-23T22:00:23Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Holy crap I better get busy! I Haven’t had a single erection today. I can’t think of a day I had 11 erections. I guess I am below average not jus in intelligence but also in manliness… 😉 You probably have. Most “mild” erections go totally unnoticed, especially those that occur when you sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/46 "2004-04-23T22:08:40Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > Most “mild” erections go totally unnoticed, especially those that occur when you sleep. Sadly, this is usually the case. However, if one takes advantage of the power of advertising to raise brand awareness among one’s key demos, it doesn’t have to be. Six weeks into my “Got Cock?” campaign (visible signage in the high traffic areas, and an ad blitz at 8am and 6pm), and I’m already getting a noticeable reaction from Mrs. Giraffe. “What’s wrong with you?” she’ll ask. “Got cock?” I say. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/47 "2004-04-24T00:39:29Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > Women don’t care about circumference. What they care about is _diameter_. I do not want to even imagine having a penis the ratio of these of is not approximately 3.14. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/48 "2004-04-24T00:50:50Z")
I call my dinky **The Monolith** 9:3:1 - I’ll tell you whut ---
**Author:** ![Call\_me\_Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Call\_me\_Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Call_me_Frank)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/49 "2004-04-24T03:11:35Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > For comparison purposes, the average diameter is 18.5 inches. That’s a [medium](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_193.html), right? ---
**Author:** ![Stephi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/50 "2004-04-25T02:47:09Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200 > Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000 > Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons > Average amount of water it takes to fill a bathtub: 35 gallons > Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour > Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour > Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7 > Average # of calories in a can of Dr. Pepper: 150 > Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches > Average length when erect: 5.1 > Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch > largest natural penis recorded: 11 inches > Largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet (blue whale) > Height from court floor to the rim of a basketball hoop: 10 feet > Most arousing time of day/season for a man: early morning/fall > Best ways to improve sexual function: quit smoking, start excercising, > lose weight. > Foods that improve sex life: oysters, lean meat, seafood, whole grains, > wheat germ, chicken fingers from Erie dining hall > Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60% > Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54% > Percant of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41% > Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to > 2weeks > Average # of erections per day for a man: 11 > Average # of erections during the night: 9 WOAH!!! 150 Calories in a Dr Pepper!?! Man, I gotta cut down on this stuff, maybe switch to something else! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/51 "2004-04-25T04:28:46Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > For comparison purposes, the average diameter is 18.5 inches. You said it had to be erect when doing this, yet … well, we clearly have different measurements. No wonder Mount Doom is so fucking thick. ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/52 "2004-04-25T10:41:09Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > I will not respond, I will not respond, I will not respond, I will not respond, I will not respond, I will not respond… > > 😃 **Askeptic** - I took this to mean that **harmless** wouldn’t respond to your question > [@](#): > > I mean how would the average woman know the average size of a male penis. I doubt the average woman sees enough erections to know the average. to imply that she had, in fact, seen enough penises to know the average length but was joking about it. I may be wrong but thats what it seemed like to me. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/53 "2004-04-25T15:00:42Z")
> [@WILLASS](#): > > to imply that she had, in fact, seen enough penises to know the average length but was joking about it. I may be wrong but thats what it seemed like to me. And we have a winner! Or a weiner! You decide! 😉 Caution: Harmless is never to be taken seriously or while operating heavy machinery. Consult your doctor before beginning or stopping any harmless medications. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/54 "2004-04-25T15:50:21Z")
It kind of takes the humour away if you have to explain your own jokes doesn’t it, so I thought I’d help you out! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![whattheheck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7c8e57/32.png) [@whattheheck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whattheheck)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/55 "2004-04-25T23:10:59Z")
> [@Gr8Kat](#): > > Gimme a break, your thread was such a joke. “Oh, 7 1/2 inches, is that _big enough_?? I’m so worried!” What a transparent way to get your pathetic ego bolstered. > > Wait. What a great idea! > > \ > Oh, are my boobs big enough? My boyfriend tells me that DDs are fine, but I’m soooooo not sure. I mean, yes, they’re very firm, and they bounce nicely, and the nipples don’t point to the floor, but how can I be sure they’re really nice enough? I’m sooooooo concerned. > \ > \ > \ thanks ill take that as a yes lol ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/56 "2004-04-25T23:21:45Z")
Will someone tell me how _my_ Pit thread turned into a duscussion about large penises? ---
**Author:** ![whattheheck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7c8e57/32.png) [@whattheheck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whattheheck)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/57 "2004-04-25T23:57:34Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > I find it interesting that **whathedickhead** includes **Aes** and **Tam** in his lashing out, when it was only **Tsarboy** who actually posted an intentional jab. (Which I loved, btw, **Czarbaby** ). Perhaps their insightful posts hit too close to home, **Whatadick**? ya maybe it did hit too close huh or maybe i just meant what i said in the first place… _thinking_… ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2004, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/58 "2004-04-26T00:05:41Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Will someone tell me how _my_ Pit thread turned into a duscussion about large penises? YEah, I thought I’d turned it into a discussion of my boobs! Did I say they were DD? I meant, uh, EE. Is that big enough?? \ ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/59 "2004-04-26T00:20:05Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Will someone tell me how _my_ Pit thread turned into a duscussion about large penises? Yeah, talk about irony… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561/60 "2004-04-26T01:33:54Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Will someone tell me how _my_ Pit thread turned into a duscussion about large penises? You never know how badly hijacked a thread is going to get. [sub]Gr8Kat, you got odds riding on that or something?:D[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/czarcasm-tamaraqueenofgoths-and-aesiron/241561.md?page=4)