# D&D Movie Trailer **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 1, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177 "2000-11-01T02:43:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/41 "2000-11-12T02:45:13Z")
> [@](#): > > But there are still magic items that it seems odd that some mage busted a nut to make. You mean you _wouldn’t_ devote your life to studying the arcane arts just so you could one day spend the time, money and possibly health and create a Saw of Mighty Cutting? C’mon! If given to someone with 18/00 strength he can cut through a 2’ thick maple in only ten minutes! Tell me that wasn’t the envy of every adventuring group… ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/42 "2000-11-12T10:54:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stupendous man \* > \*\*Marlon Wayons? Marlon Friekin’ Wayons??!! > Why would anyone go make their multi-million event movie, and then cast THE most idiotic, annoying, moron on the planet?? I mean c’mon… The trailer was going fine until I say that face, and heard that voice, and that was pretty much it… \*\* In his defense, he was pretty good in Requiem for a Dream. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/43 "2000-11-12T17:36:14Z")
Jophiel wrote: > [@](#): > > You mean you _wouldn’t_ devote your life to studying the arcane arts just so you could one day spend the time, money and possibly health and create a Saw of Mighty Cutting? C’mon! If given to someone with 18/00 strength he can cut through a 2’ thick maple in only ten minutes! Tell me that wasn’t the envy of every adventuring group… To say nothing of creating the highly revered Spade of Colossal Excavation, with which an 18-strength fighter can dig a 3-foot-wide by 3-foot-deep hole in only one minute. Or all those cursed items, like Gauntlets of Fumbling and Boots of Dancing. You’ll be the envy of everyone else at the magic-user academy when you create items designed to fool thieving adverturers into thinking they’re stealing something useful! ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/44 "2000-11-12T21:46:21Z")
On the other hand, I’ve always liked the “Ring of Delusion” - the one where you think you’re invisible, but you’re not. Maybe they can put one in the flick, have an _Erik the Viking_ scene: “Now you see me - now you don’t!” ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2000, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/45 "2000-11-13T19:02:06Z")
In the first issue of _Fantasy Gamer_ (1983), they had a table of “Outré Magic Items” – that is, magic items that are powerful but useless. Among these items were:[ul][li]A rod of rulership that only works when submerged in the blood of Cthulu.[/li][li]A coin which, when flipped and asked a yes-no question, will always land on edge.[/li][li]A ring of invisibility – when worn, the _ring_ turns invisible but the wearer does not.[/li][li]A mace of sharpness.[/li][li]A silver arrow suspended from a string, which always points to the person holding the arrow.[/li][li]A scabbard of sword resistance – no sword can be sheathed in it.[/li][li]The Lance of Quixote: +10 vs. windmills, -2 versus any other target if a windmill is within 400 yards.[/li]A ring of invulnerability – the _ring_ can never be damaged.[/ul]I kinda liked the idea of “plate mail of ehterealness”, too. Upon command, the plate mail would turn ethereal. Its wearer, however, would remail solid. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/46 "2000-11-13T22:55:07Z")
**Stupendous Man** wrote: > [@](#): > > Marlon Wayons? Marlon Friekin’ Wayons??!! > Why would anyone go make their multi-million event movie, and then cast THE most idiotic, annoying, moron on the planet?? I mean c’mon… The trailer was going fine until I say that face, and heard that voice, and that was pretty much it… Hey, I’m grateful they didn’t give Steve Gutenberg a call. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/47 "2000-11-14T01:45:41Z")
Yeah, they shoulda cast Samuel L. Jackson as a paladin. Why, even the name “Mace Windu” sounds like a D&D weapon! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/48 "2000-11-14T06:40:39Z")
**tracer** wrote: > [@](#): > > Yeah, they shoulda cast Samuel L. Jackson as a paladin. Why, even the name “Mace Windu” sounds like a D&D weapon! Jules Windu: [pointing his sword] Say “Orcus” again. SAY “ORCUS” AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker! Say “Orcus” one more goddamn time! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/49 "2000-11-14T18:52:53Z")
And we never DID get to see what was in that treasure chest… ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/50 "2000-11-14T19:47:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*And we never DID get to see what was in that treasure chest… \*\* Come, come. It was quite obviously Treasure Type G. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/51 "2000-11-15T01:50:43Z")
JULES Okay now, tell me about 3rd Edition? VINCENT What so you want to know? JULES Well, humans can multi-class, right? VINCENT Yeah, it’s called multi-classing, but it’s kind of like dual-classing. I mean, you can’t start out as a mage and a thief, and start doing both right away. You’re only supposed to advance in one class at a time. JULES You choose which class to advance in? VINCENT Yeah, it breaks down like this: everybody goes up levels on the same chart, and you decide every level what class you want to advance in, and as long as no two classes are four levels apart, there’s no XP penalty. Every race has a preferred class, which doesn’t count when checking for an XP penalty an – get a load of this – there’s no race restrictions; you can play any class you want. You can play a half-orc paladin/monk. JULES That did it, man – I’m fuckin’ playin’, that’s all there is to it. VINCENT You’ll dig it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about 3rd Edition is? JULES What? VINCENT It’s the little differences. A lotta the same shit we got in 2nd Edition, they still got, but there they’re a little different. JULES Examples? VINCENT Well, in 3rd Edition, you can cast cantrips. And I don’t mean as a first level spell either. They give you zero-level cantrips, like in Unearthed Arcana. In 3rd Edition, priests can cast cantrips. Also, you know what they call THAC0 in 3rd Edition? JULES They don’t call it THAC0? VINCENT No, they got the d20 System now, A.C. Zero don’t mean shit. JULES What’d they call it? VINCENT Attack bonus. JULES (repeating) Attack bonus. What’d they call a Armor Class? VINCENT A.C.'s A.C., but now it goes up instead of down. JULES What do they call a Hit Dice? VINCENT I dunno, I didn’t get the DMG. But you know what the damage cap on Flame Strike is in 3rd Edition, instead of 6d8? JULES What? VINCENT 15d6. JULES Goddamn! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/52 "2000-11-15T03:54:25Z")
Bravo! Now if only you still got one Experience Point for every gold piece worth of treasure you got out of an adventure… ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177/53 "2000-11-15T19:03:57Z")
Oh, wait, I know: “The way your dad looked at it, the Hand of Vecna was your birthright. He’d be damned if any of the orcs were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he stored this severed hand up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the Hand of Vecna. I hid this uncomfortable piece of mummified flesh up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the Hand of Vecna to you.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/d-d-movie-trailer/39177.md?page=2)