# Dad abandons drowning son to save wife. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 2, 2009, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672 "2009-12-02T05:03:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/1 "2009-12-02T05:03:16Z")
Story from [New Zealand.](http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/New-Zealand-Dad-Stacy-Horton-Abandons-Drowning-Son-Silva-To-Save-Wife-Vanessa-In-Whanganui-River/Article/200911415479385?lpos=World_News_Second_World_News_Article_Teaser_Region_6&lid=ARTICLE_15479385_New_Zealand%3A_Dad_Stacy_Horton_Abandons_Drowning_Son_Silva_To_Save_Wife_Vanessa_In_Whanganui_River). _A man has revealed how he abandoned a bid to rescue his teenage son to save his screaming wife after their car plunged into a river in New Zealand._ Hobson’s choice . ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/2 "2009-12-02T05:09:14Z")
Mods, please fix the spelling in the title. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/3 "2009-12-02T05:12:22Z")
It was her son too. It’s a choice whose emotional dimensions I hope I never have to come anywhere near making, but I don’t believe there’s a right or wrong choice (other than perhaps saving yourself and doing nothing for either). ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/4 "2009-12-02T05:26:37Z")
Are you saying he should have abandoned the wife to drown and lost both of them trying to save the son he said he couldn’t save as well as his own life or are you just pointing out a tragic tale? > [@](#): > > Senior fire station officer Gary Wilson said the water was dark and murky and firefighters had struggled in vain to reach the car ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/5 "2009-12-02T05:29:30Z")
I think he was giving an example of a _wrong_ choice. ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/6 "2009-12-02T05:30:13Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Are you saying he should have abandoned the wife to drown and lost both of them trying to save the son he said he couldn’t save as well as his own life or are you just pointing out a tragic tale? I am just pointing out a tragic tale . I am NOT judging people. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/7 "2009-12-02T05:32:57Z")
> [@indian](#): > > I am just pointing out a tragic tale . I am NOT judging people. Glad we got that cleared up.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/8 "2009-12-02T05:49:10Z")
I read the story but I didn’t really see the choice. It sounds as though he couldn’t save the son, even if he’d left his wife to drown while he tried. As **Harmonious Discord** said, trying to save the son probably would have caused three deaths. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/9 "2009-12-02T07:37:05Z")
And if the choice had been exactly even with the certain chance to save only one? ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/10 "2009-12-02T08:44:49Z")
He made the only reasonable choice, but it must be heart breaking. He showed an impressive composure to reach that conclusion. ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/11 "2009-12-02T09:41:31Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > He made the only reasonable choice, but it must be heart breaking. He showed an impressive composure to reach that conclusion. Yes ! Remarkable composure and thinking at that moment . ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/12 "2009-12-02T09:56:53Z")
> [@indian](#): > > Hobson’s choice . ☹ At the risk of appearing insensitive (yet bearing in mind this board’s stated purpose), “Hobson’s choice” doesn’t mean a “difficult” choice but rather no choice at all. Choosing between son or wife is a dilemma; “you can choose any colour as long as it’s black” is Hobson’s choice. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/13 "2009-12-02T10:08:09Z")
It does not sound like he chose one over the other. He tried to rescue his son and failed (note that the emergency services were also unable to reach the son). He then rescued his wife. “I tried to get down and get him but I couldn’t - it was just too deep.” ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/14 "2009-12-02T11:24:36Z")
> [@Wallenstein](#): > > At the risk of appearing insensitive (yet bearing in mind this board’s stated purpose), “Hobson’s choice” doesn’t mean a “difficult” choice but rather no choice at all.. Yes , you are correct. My mistake, in choice of words. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/15 "2009-12-02T13:29:36Z")
What a nightmare. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/16 "2009-12-02T14:52:54Z")
It’s such a heartbreaking situation, but he made the right choice. At least he and his wife will be together, to mourn their son . . . rather than everyone else mourning all three. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/17 "2009-12-02T14:58:39Z")
Damn. That is so, so sad. But I say he really did show remarkable composure under the situation, and made the correct choice. Still. Damn. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/18 "2009-12-02T15:00:19Z")
Yeah, hope to never be in sch a situation - and glad my wife and kids are all strong swimmers. But the article doesn’t really convey the time involved, or conditions including temps and the strength of the current. After he got his wife to the shore I’d think he could have made another attempt for the boy rather than just sit there “praying.” With the tailights 3 feet below the surface, it doesn’t sound as tho the car was all that far down. Maybe he could have seem if Elin Woods was through with that golf club . . . ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/19 "2009-12-02T15:16:58Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > And if the choice had been exactly even with the certain chance to save only one? That’s why you should always carry a coin. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672/20 "2009-12-02T15:22:21Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Yeah, hope to never be in sch a situation - and glad my wife and kids are all strong swimmers. But the article doesn’t really convey the time involved, or conditions including temps and the strength of the current. Even if everybody in the car is a strong swimmer, drive carefully. It’s hard to get out of a car while it’s sinking (_Mythbusters_ did a show on this). You can’t open the doors unless the car is floating or is filled with water- if you try when the door is partially submerged, the water pressure will make it impossible. Of course, once the car is filled with water, you don’t have much time to get out. You may not be able to open the windows if you have power windows, since the electrical system that runs them and water are not a good combination. And many people tend to panic during or after any car accident, so their judgment may not be at its theoretical best. It’s not just a matter of being able to swim. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-abandons-drowning-son-to-save-wife/519672.md?page=2)