# "Dad, hold your new baby son..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 28, 2012, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107 "2012-09-28T04:21:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![starryspice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@starryspice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/starryspice)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/41 "2012-09-30T02:39:45Z")
Congratulations, and best wishes to all of you! I know that not getting to keep him with you is hard. My little guy (9 lbs, born with a heart defect) went to the NICU and stayed for 18 days. My husband and I both kept repeating to each other how odd it felt to put our baby “back on the shelf” every night, where he’d wait for us until morning while someone other than us cared for him. But as long as these days are, they’ll be short in the long run. Our little guy’s healthy now, crawls like a torpedo. Soon enough you’ll have your baby home with you and life will return to the new normal :). ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/42 "2012-09-30T11:50:22Z")
Congratulations to all of you! Leaving the hospital without your baby is really hard, but it does give you a little time for some extra sleep. Capitalize on it. My week after the twins were born was the most well-rested postpartum time I’ve ever had, and I valued that, even though leaving without them sucked. The ones in cribs are probably nearly ready to go home- that’s how it was in our local NICU, at least. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/43 "2012-10-01T01:37:42Z")
Congratulations on your superbly-named son! > [@Haunted\_Pasta](#): > > Congratulations! Our second ended up in the NICU, too, for similar reasons, although minus the IV’s and ventilators and such. He just came down the chute so fast that he didn’t really get properly wrung out and still had some fluid in his lungs. Not that a NICU stay is anything you’d wish for, but since little Aragorn will come through fine in short order, the silver lining is that Mom gets a few more nights to rest and recover than she would if you went straight home. As was pointed out to us, the NICU is, among other things, a REALLY good babysitting service. > > You will likely find that there’s nothing quite like parenting to show how true this is. > > Best wishes during your hospital stay, and for the joyous adventure you’ve embarked on. I felt the same, at least once we’d left - the nicu gave us an easier transition phase. Always an upside. And while you don’t get to coo over your new miraculous tiny and squidgy being as much as you’d like, there’s also something poignant about missing that baby even though he barely exists yet. It actually makes for a nice birth story in itself - there I was, holding a polaroid of you, waiting for the real thing. Nicu staff seem to take a course in being lovely. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/44 "2012-10-01T17:43:15Z")
Yikes - definitely NOT words you want to hear, but I’m glad he’s doing better now. Moon Unit was in the NICU (different reasons: she showed up 6 weeks early because they figured if I died, it would be bad for her) and spent most of a week on a ventilator. My husband says “you can’t argue with the results. Oh wait, we do - daily!”. ---
**Author:** ![Bass\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/43a26b/32.png) [@Bass\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bass_Chick)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/45 "2012-10-01T17:55:21Z")
Whenever possible, have skin-to-skin contact with your son. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/46 "2012-10-01T20:23:21Z")
congrats! sorry about the scare Welcome to the world, you who shall be called Elessar. ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2012, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/47 "2012-10-03T20:13:27Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Thanks, everyone. These reassurances mean a lot. He’s continuing to improve, and we got to hold him today. Our eldest was in the NICU for several days, and he was under 5 lbs. Now at 29 he’s a 6-foot tall 220 lb. hulk. And I mean that in the best way. Congrats! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2012, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/48 "2012-10-03T20:37:33Z")
How’s it going? (…she asked with some trepidation.) ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/49 "2012-10-04T00:45:15Z")
Sorry for not updating. He’s not even home yet, but he’s still taking up all our time. Everything’s going really well, and he’s much improved. Strider is close to being released. He is breathing on his own, he has gotten through the withdrawal symptoms that accompanied the removal of the sedative (which had been keeping him calm while on the ventilator), and he has just started eating reliably by mouth. He’s been taking a little MBM or formula by bottle and finishing the feeding by a nasal tube for a couple of days now, but today they decided that he is eating reliably enough to remove the feeding tube. So, for the first time, we have an unobstructed look at his face! It is acceptable. Kidding. We think he’s gorgeous. * * * Shifting topic slightly, we’ve learned that there are some preemies on the NICU as early as 25 and even 23 weeks, which just seems so worryingly early. Happily, though, it’s apparently no great miracle anymore for those babies to thrive over time. Wow. If I’ve thought 1+ week of NICU visits has been challenging, I can only imagine what it’s like for the poor parents who are coming there day after day for months. On the other hand, one can adjust to anything. The nurses have told us about past cases where, after a long time in the NICU, parents who were told “Your baby will go home Friday” responded “Could you maybe keep him until Monday; we were hoping to get away this weekend?” (Answer: No, the NICU is not a kennel). Other parents have been so scared about taking their infants home that they just didn’t show up for the discharge, and the nurses had to call and calm them down enough to come in. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/50 "2012-10-04T01:19:40Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > So, for the first time, we have an unobstructed look at his face! Ha! I know exactly what you mean. When my peanut was in the NICU, the nurses were good enough to take Polaroids of her in the middle of the night when she was momentarily without Stuff on her face (she pulled out her own vent and they decided to put her on a CPAP. So for about 20 seconds, she had nothing on her face, and a nurse grabbed the camera!) > [@](#): > > Shifting topic slightly, we’ve learned that there are some preemies on the NICU as early as 25 and even 23 weeks, which just seems so worryingly early. _waves_ Hi! Mom of a 23 weeker here. 😃 Yep, it’s terrifying and exhausting, but it’s also amazing and awesome, in every sense of the word. > [@](#): > > On the other hand, one can adjust to anything. The nurses have told us about past cases where, after a long time in the NICU, parents who were told “Your baby will go home Friday” responded “Could you maybe keep him until Monday; we were hoping to get away this weekend?” (Answer: No, the NICU is not a kennel). Other parents have been so scared about taking their infants home that they just didn’t show up for the discharge, and the nurses had to call and calm them down enough to come in. Oh, yeah. We were terrified. TERRIFIED, and I wasn’t a first time mother or anything. But they just hand you this little fragile thing who sometimes forgets to breathe and they’re like, “here you go! Bye!” and you’re like, “Wait…what?” 😃 I begged for an apnea monitor at home and they assured me it wasn’t necessary and I kept pointing to her alarming machine and saying, “But…but…she’s NOT BREATHING AGAIN! What do I do at home when she FORGETS TO BREATHE!!!” Turns out they’re entirely correct - when the brain development hit the mark at 37 weeks, she remembered to breathe. Never forgot again. Huh. Whodda thunk it? 😃 Glad to hear all is going well. I understand about being busy. Thanks for taking the time to update your nosy internet friends. Give him a snuggle for me! (A very manly heroic snuggle, of course.) ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/51 "2012-10-04T02:03:25Z")
Woooohooo! Congrats! ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/52 "2012-10-04T12:58:34Z")
Woooohooo! Good news! ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/53 "2012-10-04T13:05:37Z")
So… where’s the excuse for no pictures now then? _taps foot_ Oh yeah, and congratulations! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107/54 "2012-10-05T02:50:17Z")
Threadspotted! Aw, thanks, you guys. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-hold-your-new-baby-son/636107.md?page=2)