# Dad Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 5, 2019, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384 "2019-12-05T00:13:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2020, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384/21 "2020-02-21T14:56:17Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Seriously, I could go on Please, keep going far away from here Have you considered taking your act on the roadlike the middle lane of an interstate? ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2020, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384/22 "2020-02-21T14:56:21Z")
Know anyone who can drink gasoline? Jerry Can. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2020, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384/23 "2020-02-21T15:19:57Z")
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change color? He had a reptile dysfunction. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2020, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384/24 "2020-02-21T16:07:22Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > The Duck is standing by the side of the road looking to see if he can make it through the traffic. The chicken walks up to him and says, “Don’t do it. You’ll hear about it for the rest of your life.” A variant: Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the deer that it can be done. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2020, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384/25 "2020-02-21T20:49:54Z")
Do you know why Bruce Willis is a hobbit? Because old hobbits die hard. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2020, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384/26 "2020-02-22T05:50:21Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Not a joke, per se, but a favorite exchange between my dad and me: > > Me to him: Does your face hurt? It’s killing me! > > Him to me: You’re funny but looks aren’t everything. > > Good times. My dad used to say “You kids are spoiled. Or maybe you just smell that way…” ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2020, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384/27 "2020-02-22T06:27:56Z")
The cheapest concert I ever went to cost me $.45. It was 50 Cent featuring Nickelback ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2020, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384/28 "2020-02-26T06:41:24Z")
I just read this one. How do you tell if an ant is a girl or a boy" Put it in water. If it sinks, it’s a girl ant. If it floats… ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2020, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384/29 "2020-02-26T07:00:52Z")
What goes “Oom! Oom!” A cow walking backwards ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2020, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384/30 "2020-02-26T15:50:27Z")
What’s a metaphor? To keep cows in. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2020, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384/31 "2020-02-26T20:21:27Z")
First joke ever told me by my dad. Why are you rich, if you have twenty-five female pigs and twenty-five male deer? Because you have fifty sows and bucks.He told me about sixty years ago - not adjusted for inflation. Regards, Shodan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dad-jokes/844384.md?page=1)