# Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 9, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603 "2009-12-09T16:50:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/1 "2009-12-09T16:50:58Z")
Naddafinga! ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/2 "2009-12-09T16:55:54Z")
“It’s a Major Award!” “Shucks, I wouldn’t know that. It looks like a lamp.” ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/3 "2009-12-09T17:04:43Z")
Basking in the warm glow of electric sex. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/4 "2009-12-09T17:05:53Z")
“Frajee-lay, must be Italian.” “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.” “Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/5 "2009-12-09T17:16:09Z")
They looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/6 "2009-12-09T17:20:39Z")
“‘Be sure…to drink…your Ovaltine.’ …Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/7 "2009-12-09T17:23:36Z")
Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal preference was for Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness. Life Buoy, on the other hand… ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/8 "2009-12-09T17:28:07Z")
When did this film become an annual tradition? Right away, or was it a sleeper hit? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/9 "2009-12-09T17:29:49Z")
My brother just laid in the snow on his back and flopped his legs and arms back and forth like an overturned turtle. It was his only defense. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/10 "2009-12-09T17:33:21Z")
Only I didn’t say “Fudge.” I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the “F-dash-dash-dash” word! ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/11 "2009-12-09T17:33:47Z")
My mom claims her father wrestled with their furnace the same way Gavin McCloud did in the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/12 "2009-12-09T17:34:09Z")
In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan. ---
**Author:** ![Speak\_to\_me\_Maddie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Speak\_to\_me\_Maddie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speak_to_me_Maddie)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/13 "2009-12-09T17:35:43Z")
[My father] worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master. Only I didn’t say “fudge”. HO - HO - HO _foot in the face_ ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/14 "2009-12-09T17:37:09Z")
I guess this would be as good a place as any to ask if there are any fans of Jean Shepherd’s other works out there? Oh, and… “It’s a clinker!” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/15 "2009-12-09T17:37:57Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > My brother just laid in the snow on his back and flopped his legs and arms back and forth like an overturned turtle. It was his only defense. Actually, it’s “Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.” Not that it matters. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/16 "2009-12-09T17:40:01Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > My mom claims her father wrestled with their furnace the same way Gavin McCloud did in the movie. Nitpick: Darren McGavin. He wasn’t a Highlander! ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/17 "2009-12-09T17:43:46Z")
[My current Facebook profile pic](http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs108.snc3/15536_1317305732180_1216834020_30938423_170879_n.jpg). Hubby bought the lamp a few years ago, and now for the third Christmas in a row it is positioned next to the Christmas tree in the front window. RuffLlama posed perfectly with it. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/18 "2009-12-09T17:45:22Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Only I didn’t say “Fudge.” I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the “F-dash-dash-dash” word! Mother: WHERE did you hear that word? Adult Ralphie (voiceover): Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master. But, I chickened out and said the first name that came to mind. Kid Ralphie: Schwartz! Poor Schwartz. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/19 "2009-12-09T17:46:12Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Nitpick: Darren McGavin. He wasn’t a Highlander! Nor captain of the Love Boat. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603/20 "2009-12-09T17:51:07Z")
“I want an official Red Rider carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle. :D” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/daddys-gonna-kill-ralphie/520603.md?page=2)