# Dad's Surgery - My Dilemma (Long, Need Advice) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 4, 2011, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-surgery-my-dilemma-long-need-advice/598574 "2011-10-04T16:53:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-surgery-my-dilemma-long-need-advice/598574/21 "2011-10-05T21:32:41Z")
> [@Septima](#): > > I inferred a closer relationship between the OP and the co-worker than seems to be the case. I read her, in a moment of sleepless irritation, as one of those infuriating people who refuse all help from family or friends, no matter how needed, because they have “pride” or some such manure. That appears to not be the case, and I apologize if my tone was badly calibrated. All the same, **Indyellen** you should still take her up on her offer, IMO. It’s not like it would be for a long time, and I don’t think she would have offered if it was going to be a problem for the money to be out of her account for a few weeks. ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-surgery-my-dilemma-long-need-advice/598574/22 "2011-10-05T21:47:00Z")
Go. Absolutely, whatever you need to do. I’m sure it will all be fine, but it sounds like you need to be there. If it’s driveable timewise and all, what about renting a car for the trip? It might be cheaper than the flight + rental. (Don’t forget to figure in gas costs, though!) I’m not sure what to tell you about the co-worker - I don’t know her. I’d be uneasy borrowing money from someone I didn’t know that well. OTOH, I could easily see myself offering to make that loan if I had the ready cash, simply because I’ve been in similar situations myself. If I did, I wouldn’t be obsessing about getting it back on a certain timeline. For that matter, I’d paypal you a double sawbuck or so right now, if that would help. If you do decide to accept her offer, sit down and write out an agreement on how it will be paid back. That will protect you both, and maybe make you feel more comfortable with the situation. ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-surgery-my-dilemma-long-need-advice/598574/23 "2011-10-05T23:25:48Z")
What a sad situation. I’m very sorry for you. Unfortunately, it looks like any of your options for going (credit cards, borrowing from family, borrowing from co worker) would have pretty negative consequences for you. But my opinion is that the negative consequences of\* not\* going would be a thousand times worse. So I’d go. ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-surgery-my-dilemma-long-need-advice/598574/24 "2011-10-06T00:31:58Z")
Well, could you do a yard sale this weekend? Sell some crap you don’t need on Craigslist? Even just a couple hundred bucks would make a significant dent in what you’ll be spending. See whether you could borrow a car while you’re in town, or maybe you’ve got friends there that miss you and might be willing to drive you around? Offer to cook meals and clean your parents house from top to bottom while you’re there, for a reasonable fee? ---
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-surgery-my-dilemma-long-need-advice/598574/25 "2011-10-07T10:48:33Z")
Good News: I called my dad to see if I could borrow his frequent flyer card so that maybe I wouldn’t have to pay baggage fees; turns out that a) he offered to pay for my ticket and b) he had enough frequent flyer miles that I could use. I got my ticket for $85.00 - taxes, etc., which I could afford. This also meant that I got to choose flights at decent hours because I wasn’t restricted to “cheapest available”. So, I leave Monday (day before surgery) and come back the following Monday. The only down side is that we’ve been having SO MANY issues with my daughter lately that my husband is freaking out about my being gone. It’s crazy. I think they’ll be fine, but he’s all worried; so much so that he tried to get me to pull her out of school and take her with me. Uh, no. I’m sure he’ll calm down, but it keeps making me feel like I’m doing something _wrong_ by going, and I know damned well I’m not. Why does life have to be so fucking complicated, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-surgery-my-dilemma-long-need-advice/598574/26 "2011-10-07T12:22:58Z")
So glad you’re going to be able to make the trip without undue financial difficulty. I hope your husband will calm down; remind him you have plenty of stress without his contribution. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-surgery-my-dilemma-long-need-advice/598574.md?page=1)