# Dads United Against Father's Day **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 19, 2011, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992 "2011-06-19T00:18:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/61 "2011-06-20T13:30:48Z")
My son called me to chat and my wife couldn’t resist guying me a six-pack of my favorite beer. That was more than enough celebration of me becoming a father all those years ago. My children are the constant reward (and punishment) I get for being a dad. Obligatory phone calls and trite cards pale to insignificance in comparison. Why are all the “Hallmark Holidays” on days with no mail delivery? ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/62 "2011-06-20T13:55:28Z")
I didn’t even REMEMBER it was Father’s Day (my dad was another one of the “mock me for celebrating a fake holiday” guys) until my wife woke me up with a giggling baby and a new beard trimmer. It has a vacuum built in to keep me from getting hairs all over the sink. I wasn’t sure whether I was being called a slob or not. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/63 "2011-06-20T15:06:21Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Honestly, I feel the same way about Mother’s Day. I’ve only been able to tolerate the pair by thinking of Mother’s Day as the secular Beltane, and Father’s Day as the secular Summer Solstice. I console myself with the personal delusion that the Energies of these two days are just so darn strong that even nonpagans feel the need to celebrate them somehow. 😉 Did you know Mother’s Day in the U.S. started out as an Anti-War holiday? It was started by Mrs. “Battle Hymn of the Republic” Julia Ward Howe. It originally had nothing to do with mother’s being honored by their children, getting breakfast in bed, and Hallmark cards - it had to do with mother’s marching to protect their sons from battle and remembering the sons that they had sacrificed. > **[Mother's Day Proclamation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day_Proclamation)** > > The "Appeal to womanhood throughout the world" (later known as "Mothers' Day Proclamation") by Julia Ward Howe was an appeal for women to unite for peace in the world. Written in 1870, Howe's "Appeal to womanhood" was a pacifist reaction to the carnage of the American Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War. The appeal was tied to Howe's feminist conviction that women had a responsibility to shape their societies at the political level. > > The original Mothers' Day Proclamation, Julia Ward Howe, 187... ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/64 "2011-06-20T15:17:05Z")
My wife asked me what I wanted for Father’s Day and I said “Spending the day all by myself is not an option, is it?” That got the Disapproving Look. We had a nice day and the kids were excited to play games with Daddy and give him presents, so I came to the realization that Father’s Day is not for the actual father, it’s for the rest of the family. So I try to make the best of it. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/65 "2011-06-20T15:21:19Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > My wife asked me what I wanted for Father’s Day and I said “Spending the day all by myself is not an option, is it?” That got the Disapproving Look. We had a nice day and the kids were excited to play games with Daddy and give him presents, so I came to the realization that Father’s Day is not for the actual father, it’s for the rest of the family. So I try to make the best of it. This is how I feel about Mother’s Day. I mean, I like the little tchotchkes that the kids make me at school. That part is nice. But seriously, the one thing as a mother that I never get enough of is time to myself, so what’s the purpose of a day where everyone makes you feel like some sort of horrible person for wanting some time to yourself? Also, “breakfast in bed” usually equates to “We destroyed the kitchen, which you will now later have to clean up.” That said, MrWhatsit does seem to really enjoy Father’s Day, so we do whatever he wants, which this year involved spending sequential one on one time with each of our three kids. (Seriously, he’s a great dad.) But if what he wanted was a day to himself, I’d make it happen. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/66 "2011-06-20T15:25:13Z")
I watched in awe as my kid did one thing after another to make the day special, from making me a card to baking cupcakes to making movie reservations for the two of us to shopping for a considerate gift (a Ninja) to spending hours w/ me in the pool to waitressing my wife and I both for dinner. Like the year before and the year before that, it was the best fathers’ day ever. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/67 "2011-06-20T15:25:39Z")
I guess I’m just a sentimental pussy because having my daughter take me out to lunch (she even paid :eek:) made my day. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/68 "2011-06-20T15:29:33Z")
Did I call anyone a sentimental pussy? No. I don’t like Hallmark holidays and I don’t like having one devoted to me. You can all do whatever you like and I’ll continue raising my kids in my cynical black-hearted way over here. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/69 "2011-06-20T15:52:47Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > My wife asked me what I wanted for Father’s Day and I said “Spending the day all by myself is not an option, is it?” That got the Disapproving Look. We had a nice day and the kids were excited to play games with Daddy and give him presents, so I came to the realization that Father’s Day is not for the actual father, it’s for the rest of the family. So I try to make the best of it. My husband did this for me for years for Mother’s Day. The kids were little and clingy - and the thing I wanted most for Mother’s Day was peace and quiet. So they’d make me breakfast in bed, bounce on the bed, watch cartoons with mom in her bed. And then my husband would take them to visit his mother. And I’d take my mother to lunch, come back home, and read a book in the bathtub while drinking a glass of wine. They’d head home after dinner - they’d take Grandma out. Now they are older. I get breakfast in bed from my daughter, but there is less bouncing involved. And my son might remember to say Happy Mother’s Day. We go out to a movie and dinner. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/70 "2011-06-20T16:05:21Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Did you know Mother’s Day in the U.S. started out as an Anti-War holiday? It was started by Mrs. “Battle Hymn of the Republic” Julia Ward Howe. It originally had nothing to do with mother’s being honored by their children, getting breakfast in bed, and Hallmark cards - it had to do with mother’s marching to protect their sons from battle and remembering the sons that they had sacrificed. > > [Mother's Day Proclamation - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day_Proclamation) I did! It’s a beautiful poem, isn’t it? As I said, my version is my personal delusion, not actual history. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/71 "2011-06-20T16:15:50Z")
Father’s Day? More like… [Garbage Day!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7gIpuIVE3k) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/72 "2011-06-20T16:43:31Z")
For Father’s Day and my birthday (coming up this Sunday), my wife and kiddo got me a Kindle as a combined present. Really, it’s partly for them; now that I have my own book reader, I won’t be reading books on the iPad as much, so they can play with it more. Since my wife can’t keep secrets from me, I actually got it about three days early. On Father’s Day itself, I did about four loads of laundry and cooked lunch and dinner in between cleaning various parts of the house. Whee. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/73 "2011-06-20T17:10:46Z")
I like being the child that moved away. It means I just get to make a phone call, my brother does all the dirty work! He and his family took Mom and Dad for a nice lunch, and then he and Dad went male bonding fishing. However, Mom will be here for her birthday soon, so I’ve got that one. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/74 "2011-06-20T17:28:40Z")
This is my third Father’s Day since we brought the Firebug back from Russia. So it’s a perfectly good time to say that the glow hasn’t worn off yet. I love the little rascal more than I can say, and he for some reason adores his dad. I had a very happy Father’s Day, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/75 "2011-06-20T17:31:24Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I did! It’s a beautiful poem, isn’t it? As I said, my version is my personal delusion, not actual history. 😉 Well, the reality of the current version of Mother’s Day and the historical intent don’t have anything but a little delusion in common either. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/76 "2011-06-20T17:48:26Z")
Fuck **Scratch** , that’s some hard ass shit there. We both know there aren’t the words for it. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/77 "2011-06-20T17:51:49Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > My kid can do a spot-on impression of a wookie in a karaoke bar. Can yours? No, but that totally just pulled ahead of “how to read” on my list of things I want to teach her. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/surrounded_by_literalists)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/78 "2011-06-20T17:55:25Z")
Thank God I read this thread! I thought my husband was the only guy who hated Father’s Day! I have spent years simmering over the fact that he will not cooperate with the whole concept. Now I know that his aversion, although not shared by all, is not atypical. I am off the hook! I will, howeve,r always have cheesecake available on this holiday, but only because I want it. I may share it with him. Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/79 "2011-06-20T17:57:41Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Well, the reality of the current version of Mother’s Day and the historical intent don’t have anything but a little delusion in common either. 🙂 Ah…good point! Very good point. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/80 "2011-06-20T17:59:00Z")
I like Father’s Day, even though we always have to schedule it on a different day because I’m a stepfather as well as a biological father, and my stepson is with his biological dad on the real day. It’s nice to know it’s important to my family. For a lot of years I felt unappreciated. I never knew my biological dad, and it would be the dream of a lifetime if I could have met him even once, much less have a Father’s Day with him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992.md?page=5)