# Dads United Against Father's Day **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 19, 2011, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992 "2011-06-19T00:18:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/81 "2011-06-20T21:15:38Z")
I am hating Father’s Day today. My husband got ties (which he adores and wears to work though they are cliche) and little things the kids made from school (much like I did for mother’s day but replace ties with small potted flowers). I thought that was enough but he had set his hopes pretty high (after the outpouring of attention from the kids I got on Mother’s Day) and ended up disappointed. Guess next year I need to make a big deal of it. \ ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/82 "2011-06-20T21:59:21Z")
The media has chilled out a lot from say 15 - 20 years ago. I can remember a day when it used to be around Mothers day, all the talk shows would do stuff about “sweet wonderful mothers”. Then on Fathers day it was something to the tune of: “Dead Beat Dads!” Good lord! Really? ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/83 "2011-06-21T16:55:10Z")
> [@saje](#): > > Yep, I agree. I wish that instead of focusing on these “special days” (mostly Mother’s, Father’s, and Valentine’s days) people would realize that doing something special -however little- for someone for no greater reason than you like them and are thinking about them means much more than something given on a mandatory holiday. Are these things mutually exclusive? ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/84 "2011-06-21T18:01:57Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I did tell someone I barely know at work that he is a horrible father because he said he was going to spend Father’s Day away from his kids on purpose because it was a day designed to let him do whatever he wanted. Did you really tell him that? I don’t get that at all. One of the joys of Mother’s Day for me is that my husband usually takes the kids out for a few hours and I get some time home alone, to nap or read a book in peace. How is that horrible? See below: > [@Skammer](#): > > My wife asked me what I wanted for Father’s Day and I said “Spending the day all by myself is not an option, is it?” That got the Disapproving Look. We had a nice day and the kids were excited to play games with Daddy and give him presents, so I came to the realization that Father’s Day is not for the actual father, it’s for the rest of the family. So I try to make the best of it. > [@MsWhatsit](#): > > This is how I feel about Mother’s Day. I mean, I like the little tchotchkes that the kids make me at school. That part is nice. But seriously, the one thing as a mother that I never get enough of is time to myself, so what’s the purpose of a day where everyone makes you feel like some sort of horrible person for wanting some time to yourself? Also, “breakfast in bed” usually equates to “We destroyed the kitchen, which you will now later have to clean up.” > > \ > But if what he wanted was a day to himself, I’d make it happen. I did give my husband the option of the day to himself, but he wanted a day trip to the beach instead, and we all had a fabulous time. Also, our 6-year-old son made him a card shaped like a tie that said: \*\*You are the bust Dad! Are you the bust Dad? inswr: Yes l No\*\* Frikkin awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/85 "2011-06-21T18:09:35Z")
> [@scratch\_llll](#): > > My dad took me fishing, got me puppies, took me to scouts, bought me GI Joes, poked holes in jar lids for lightening bugs, camped out with me, made me work in the garden and cut the lawn but gave me an allowance, told stories of his youth, kept a trunk of memorabilia from his world travels in the navy that he let me paw through, took me to football games, bought me Aurora monster models, took us on roadtrips to great places where lots of pictures were taken, took me Christmas tree hunting, made every Christmas great, took me bird hunting, gave me a bike, gave me a minibike, gave me a motorcycle, gave me a car, gave me date money, gave me the freedom to go hang with my buds, gave me a great childhood that I will carry with me always and try but fail to pass on to my kids because there will never be another like him ever. > > I wish so much I could tell him happy fathers day and give him some crappy Old Spice just to feel him hug me awkwardly and change the subject. Instead I go make sure there are no limbs on his grave from the massive oak he is burried under. Sounds like that oak would need to be massive, to be tree enough for the man under it. What’s the betting if you could ask him he’d say “Just doing my job, son, just doing my job”? ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/86 "2011-06-22T00:53:13Z")
> [@scratch\_llll](#): > > Instead I go make sure there are no limbs on his grave from the massive oak he is burried under. You could also plant some early spring bulbs around his grave. Even if they are NOT ALLOWED, they usually blossom and die back before the groundskeepers start in the Spring. ---
**Author:** ![scratch\_llll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@scratch\_llll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch_llll)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/87 "2011-06-22T05:44:50Z")
I already have daffodils there. It’s in an old graveyard down a gravel road that was established in 1820 when this area was first settled and we all take turns mowing it as there is no longer a church there. The thing is, I could have gone on for pages like that. I never thought of all he did while he was alive, sure I told him I loved him and all I know of manhood he taught me, but I never understood the full scope of his affection or all that he taught me while I thought I was just having fun until he was gone. 13 years now and it’s obvious I’m always going to miss him. Ray Bradbury had a story in “Long After Midnight” called “The Wish” that made me know that he understands fully. But if Dad were here he would tell me to quit this maudlin crap and take my family fishing and he would be right. Thanks Dad. For everything. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/88 "2011-06-22T13:40:48Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Can I get in on this even though I’m not a dad? My dad sucks and I’m not honoring him on this day or any other. And I’m sick of hallmark holidays designed solely to get people to buy shit, and yes I’m including Mother’s Day in that. > > God I feel cranky today. I’m in, too. My dad also sucks, but he was here on the Saturday before Father’s Day, so we felt obliged to get him at least a card and a couple of Lotto tickets, or he might have felt like we were ignoring him. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/89 "2011-06-23T02:57:16Z")
> [@scratch\_llll](#): > > I already have daffodils there. … > But if Dad were here he would tell me to quit this maudlin crap and take my family fishing and he would be right. Thanks Dad. For everything. Well, please, cherish the trees. I don’t think there is anything sadder that a cemetary with no shade. And bring the kids. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/90 "2011-06-23T14:17:19Z")
> [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](#): > > “enjoyed”?? > > Did you jump the gun a bit? This isn’t a Boxing Day thing, is it? Father’s Day is on Sunday in Canada too, right? Sorry for the delayed response. We celebrated it early for scheduling reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/91 "2011-06-23T16:42:20Z")
Wow, sorry I missed the OP when it was fresh. I’ll go right for the money here, I’m wholly on board with ditching, “Oh hey! Father!”'s day. Show me some appreciation the other 364 if I’m all that (and I am, I love making my people happy even though I also consider that a duty), but please don’t tie me up for a whole day while you pretend to know what I like. Because if you’ve been paying attention, you’d know that what I really like is for you to be happy. And I’d be lying by omission if I didn’t say I like you to be happy because then you’ll leave me alone. 🙂 Now I get it that it’s important to allow other people to show appreciation. I’m just saying, please, do it one at a time over the course of the year. Notice the days when I’m down and, just one of you, pick _that_ day to get appreciative. It means nothing to me when you do it on schedule. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/92 "2011-06-23T17:49:40Z")
Your name is **Inigo Montoya**. You killed my Father’s Day. Prepare to drink. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/93 "2011-06-23T17:58:45Z")
This past Saturday, on our back porch: My wife: Whaddya want for Father’s Day? Me: Nuthin’. My wife: Cool. _sound of beers being sipped_ \ ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/94 "2011-06-23T23:45:29Z")
I used to be in the show-the-love-every-day-and-ignore-Father’s-Day camp. And then one year the card I had dutifully sent to my father arrived late. When I talked to my mom a couple of days later, she mentioned that Dad has been disappointed and sad that he hadn’t gotten a card for Father’s Day. My loving but non-demonstrative father. Ever since then, I’ve made sure to get a card off to him a couple of days early, and to check with Mom ahead of time, to find out when they will be home that day so I can call. This year, Dad and I chatted for a while, then I talked to Mom for a couple of minutes, and then Dad pretty much told Mom that it was HIS phone call, hand over the phone. This is the dad who rarely talks on the phone for more then 2 minutes. So yes, I’ll continue to send card and call and wish him Happy Father’s Day. If it makes him happy how can I not? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992/95 "2011-06-24T01:07:17Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > Did you really tell him that? I don’t get that at all. One of the joys of Mother’s Day for me is that my husband usually takes the kids out for a few hours and I get some time home alone, to nap or read a book in peace. How is that horrible? See below: Yes, I really did say that because I thought it was a joke at first but it turned out it wasn’t. I heard a comedian say the same thing a few days before so I assumed it was. Let’s put it this way. You can’t have a Father’s Day without your kids. It is a celebration of the bond between parent and child and treating any other way is completely inappropriate. It is fine for parents to want time to themselves but wishing your kids away on a day of family celebration displays Al Bundy style charm and class at best. It is wrong and offensive to those you are supposed to be closest to. Ask for a day of rest the next weekend or start a new holiday with that goal in mind if that is what you want. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dads-united-against-fathers-day/585992.md?page=4)