# Damit don't have unprotected sex if you know you have Herpes!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 2, 2005, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520 "2005-06-02T07:50:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/61 "2005-06-02T20:10:21Z")
Apparently Dio would be fine if I zapped him with a taser. It’s nothing more than a minor nuisance and not going to kill him. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/62 "2005-06-02T20:20:30Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Uh, did _you_ see them? 1 in 7 counts as “probably has it”? What I’m saying is that anyone who has had sex with more than eight people - especially _unprotected_ sex - probably has it. > [@](#): > > Did you bother to read **lezlers** ’ post? Or are you just _so_ convinced that you’re right that other people’s experiences are automatically wrong? I responded to **Lezler’s** post. Her emotions are not a direct physiological manifestation or symptom of the virus _per se_ but are an expression of her pre-existing psychology. Look, I’m just not going to buy into the idea that giving someone herpes - even if they do it intentionally - is the epitome of all evil on earth. It’s wrong. It’s a dick move. but it’s not the same as giving them AIDS and it’s not going to ruin their lives. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/63 "2005-06-02T20:23:50Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > Apparently Dio would be fine if I zapped him with a taser. It’s nothing more than a minor nuisance and not going to kill him. There’s a difference between being assaulted against your will and volunteering to stick your dick in something. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/64 "2005-06-02T20:33:07Z")
> [@Orual](#): > > Why are you ignoring the fact that Herpes-I (cold sores, which almost everyone has) and Herpes-II (the genital kind) are _not_ the same, and most of the population is _not_ infected with the latter? Haven’t you read **Jackmannii’s** posts? They are closely related. AND, you can get “genital” Herpes on your mouth area, and HerpesI on your genital area. Sometimes they can’t tell them apart easily. There are posts here that says that Herpes can be stopped with a Condom, there are other posts that say that you can get Herpes even without an active sore. Both are somewhat true and both are oversimplications. Herpes will not pass through a latex condom, that is true. And, the Penis and Vagina are very common places for a herpes sore. Now, it is considered _possible but unlikely_ to spread Herpes without an active outbreak. BUT, an active open sore is _very_ likely to spread the virus. Thus, if you did have a sore on your penis, or she had a sore in her vagina- then a condom would protect you/her from the most dangerous and risky point of infection. If you do have an open herpes sore, you must tell your partner, and you must use protection if it will cover that area. But- the chance that you will transmit herpes without an current outbreak is low, and many are already infected, so in that case, I leave it up to you. Note that it is _possible_ to spread or catch genital herpes without actually having sex. It does seem to require more than casual contact, but certainly heavy petting could spread it. But yes, it is considered possible to spread Herpes without an outbreak, and Genital Herpes will attack areas that are not actually the Genitals. I myself have had a few outbreaks in the past (I only have them when I am sick, when I don’t feel much like sex anyway, so…)- and my outbreak is never in my genital area, but on my right hip/upper thigh/buttock (My Doctor said it was “quite possible” that I _had_ caught it at the Gym, given the unusual location of my outbreaks). Thus, you can pass the disease on without sex, and even protected by a condom (well, unless you use one of them “full body” condoms). The pubic area isn’t covered by condoms, and that is a rather common area for outbreaks. OH, and even if you think you don’t have Herpes II, you may well have it. Some dudes have one attack, and the disease _appears_ to go away. So yes- if you have Herpes- it is POSSIBLE to spread it even if you aren’t having an outbreak. But it is also possible to spread it without sexual contact. Thus, unless you want to always wear one of those “full body” condoms, or carry a Plague bell (Unclean, UNCLEAN!), you can only attempt to minimize your chances of spreading it or catching it. Those are: 1. During an outbreak-Never have unprotected sex without a latex covering over the sores. This includes even Oral sex. It’s best to skip sex altogether (well, if you both know you both have it, then it’s up to you) during those times, but… 2. During an outbreak- fully inform your partner. It’s best to inform them anyway, but… 3. When using Gym equiptment, like stationary bicycles- wipe your sweat off, and before you get on, wipe it down unless it has been sitting for a while. If it is still “hot and sweaty” you can catch/spread herpes from it. 4. In general- don’t have unprotected sex without being in a long term monogamous relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Damage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@Mister\_Damage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Damage)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/65 "2005-06-02T20:48:58Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I responded to **Lezler’s** post. Her emotions are not a direct physiological manifestation or symptom of the virus _per se_ but are an expression of her pre-existing psychology. Did you read the part where she said: > [@lezlers](#): > > I get the emotional symptoms before the physical symptoms even appear ? Please explain how her “pre-existing psychology” would know when to start expressing itself as an emotional response to an outbreak she doesn’t yet know she’s having. I agree that herpes isn’t as traumatic as AIDS/HIV, but _damn_, it sure as hell isn’t _nothing_ either — you’re being awfully dismissive of a condition that you don’t personally have. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/66 "2005-06-02T20:56:27Z")
I totally concur that herpes does give you emotional symptoms. Mine are extremely low self esteem and depression. I also sometimes get flu-like symptoms when I have an outbreak. You can also get swollen glands. There are plenty more symptoms than just blisters. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/67 "2005-06-02T21:01:14Z")
> [@Mister Damage](#): > > Did you read the part where she said: > > ? > > Please explain how her “pre-existing psychology” would know when to start expressing itself as an emotional response to an outbreak she doesn’t yet know she’s having. > . Fallacious association, probably. Or perhaps she is more likely to get outbreaks during menstruation or something. Show me some medical literature that says herpes affects hormones or has any other physiological effects on “emotion.” Anecdotal evidence is not meaningful. Especially from an unverifiable sample of one. > [@](#): > > I agree that herpes isn’t as traumatic as AIDS/HIV, but _damn_, it sure as hell isn’t _nothing_ either — you’re being awfully dismissive of a condition that you don’t personally have What makes you think I don’t have it? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/68 "2005-06-02T21:02:26Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Look, I’m just not going to buy into the idea that giving someone herpes - even if they do it intentionally - is the epitome of all evil on earth. It’s wrong. It’s a dick move. but it’s not the same as giving them AIDS and it’s not going to ruin their lives. Fuck, man, you really _aren’t_ reading this thread. Who here has said that it’s as bad as AIDS? Who here has said it ruins people’s lives? Please give us a link to the thread you’re participating in, because it bears precious little resemblence to the one the rest of us are reading. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/69 "2005-06-02T21:26:05Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > What makes you think I don’t have it? Looking at your ignorance in regards as to how its spread, I sure as shit hope you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/70 "2005-06-02T21:35:01Z")
What have I said about how it’s spread that isn’t true? ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/71 "2005-06-02T21:40:14Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Incidentally, it’s my understanding that HSV is really only transmitted during outbreaks anyway. Does anyone know if that’s true? > [@Jackmannii](#): > > Again, from yet another good source: “Even if you’re asymptomatic, you can transmit the virus,” says Stanka Kukich, M.D., a medical team leader in the FDA’s Center for Drug Evaluation and Research. In fact, studies have shown that most people get HSV from sexual contact during times of asymptomatic viral shedding." > > Jackmannii, M.D., also M.S. in Microbiology with thesis project on herpes virus.\* nt ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/72 "2005-06-02T21:41:33Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > What have I said about how it’s spread that isn’t true? There also this: > [@](#): > > If the guys wore condoms regardless, it wouldn’t matter what the woman did or didn’t tell them. You can contract herpes even if you wear a condom. It only reduces the risk, it doesn’t eliminate it. ---
**Author:** ![DarkPrince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@DarkPrince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkPrince)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/73 "2005-06-02T21:43:11Z")
Of all the people I ever expected to trot out the tired, old, anti-abortion style “they got what they deserved” argument Diogenese was probably the last. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/74 "2005-06-02T21:45:24Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > The flaw in your logic is that the acquistion of a herpes virus does not remotely have the same impact on a person’s life as an unwanted pregnancy. This is also bullshit. You can have an abortion and be rid of your pregnancy. You can never be rid of herpes and if you are honest with people it will affect your sex life for the rest of your life. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/75 "2005-06-02T21:45:26Z")
> [@treis](#): > > nt I don’t see any assertions of fact in my post, do you? I asked a question. How is asking a question the same as making an untrue statement. Plus, my assumption was substantially accurate. The chances of transmitting it without an outbreak are significantly low. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/76 "2005-06-02T21:48:57Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > This is also bullshit. You can have an abortion and be rid of your pregnancy. You can never be rid of herpes and if you are honest with people it will affect your sex life for the rest of your life. No, it isn’t bullshit. At most, it’s an opinion you disagree with. An unwanted pregnancy, even if it is terminated can still have a hugely negative effect on a person’s life. Herpes is nothing but some blisters. Quit trying to turn it into cancer. ---
**Author:** ![flood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@flood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flood)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/77 "2005-06-02T21:51:00Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Herpes is really, really nothing Yeah, try telling (\* Link removed\*) these peeps. Personally, having open sores on my genitals wouldn’t qualify as “really nothing”. And I’m sure my girlfriend wouldn’t think it was “really nothing” if I knowingly had it and passed it on to her\*. \*I’m sure everyone’s been saying this all throughout the thread, but it just really pisses me off that people still think like this (Note: link not work safe–TVeblen) ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/78 "2005-06-02T21:52:04Z")
> [@DarkPrince](#): > > Of all the people I ever expected to trot out the tired, old, anti-abortion style “they got what they deserved” argument Diogenese was probably the last. :dubious: Cab we stop equating all possible consequences of sex as if they are all interchangable? And for the record, I think that any woman who intentionally has unprotected sex and gets pregnant has only herself to blame. I also think she has the right to get an abortion. How are those opinions contradictory. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/79 "2005-06-02T21:54:21Z")
> [@flood](#): > > Yeah, try telling that to [these](http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&lr=&c2coff=1&q=%22genital+herpes%22) peeps. Personally, having open sores on my genitals wouldn’t qualify as “really nothing”. And I’m sure my girlfriend wouldn’t think it was “really nothing” if I knowingly had it and passed it on to her\*. > > \*I’m sure everyone’s been saying this all throughout the thread, but it just really pisses me off that people still think like this Dude, how about a NSFW warning? If those examples are as extreme as it gets, it only proves my point. I’ve seen acne grosser than that. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520/80 "2005-06-02T21:57:23Z")
Yes, an unwanted pregnancy CAN have a profoundly negative effect on a woman’s life. But so can herpes and stop trying to deny it. There are people who get simplex II sores on their faces that are so ugly and horrible they are ashamed to go out in public. There are people who live with anger and self-hatred because of herpes, just as there are people who deal with it and move on. There are people who miss work and can barely walk when having an outbreak. There are people who have very minimal outbreaks, and there are people who get them every single month for years on end. Of course herpes can have a profound effect on your life. Don’t be ridiculous. If you have to take maintenance drugs for an indefinite amount of time just to function normally, is that not a profound effect? If you have to totally alter your lifestyle (as I did), is that not a profound effect? Herpes is not going to kill you, OK. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a big deal for some people. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damit-dont-have-unprotected-sex-if-you-know-you-have-herpes/306520.md?page=5)