# Dammit, did someone invent Miracle Grow for Trolls? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 25, 2000, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686 "2000-11-25T21:37:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2000, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/1 "2000-11-25T21:37:16Z")
I hope this isn’t an inappropriate topic-if so, please feel free to close it. It’s not just at the SDMB either. At Smile and Act Nice, Customers Suck, Mookville and other boards, there are trolls EVERYWHERE!!! I mean, you guys have been banning right and left, and they still come back! Don’t people have anything better to do? We have assholes on SAAN who come in, post porno pics, tell people posting about their depression to just go ahead and kill themselves, etc etc… (I know this is the Pit, but kudos to the mods and admin here for doing their part in making this a troll free board). Man, I wish I could meet one of these trolls in person…ooooh boy…payback TIME! ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2000, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/2 "2000-11-25T21:55:03Z")
The thing with trolls is they are the bullies that couldn’t act without someone else behind them. Now on the net they can do or say whatever they want because they are typing the words and don’t have to see the reactions or really fear any sort of real reprisals. If the majority of them had to deal with us face to face when they were going to say this shit, they’d never do it for fear of our retribution. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2000, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/3 "2000-11-25T22:04:24Z")
I think they’ve only been annoying in a “hey, you almost stepped in some dog-shit” kind of way. They (or possible he) are getting pretty easy to recognize. I step over it and move on. I put my full trust in the mods and admins to clean up the mess and deposit it in the proper trash recepticle. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2000, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/4 "2000-11-25T22:28:11Z")
I for one have always wished for a truly formidable troll. Clever, intelligent, unrepentant, imaginative. Insane. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2000, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/5 "2000-11-25T22:35:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*I for one have always wished for a truly formidable troll. Clever, intelligent, unrepentant, imaginative. Insane. > > \*\* ::biding his time, waiting for the moment to strike:: ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2000, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/6 "2000-11-25T23:23:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > **I for one have always wished for a truly formidable troll. Clever, intelligent, unrepentant, imaginative. Insane.** To a large extend, I’d say **Mark Serlin** fits this description. He does not appear to be around currently. But I certainly wouldn’t _wish_ for his return… ---
**Author:** ![filthy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@filthy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filthy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2000, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/7 "2000-11-25T23:49:51Z")
## Originally posted by Scylla I for one have always wished for a truly formidable troll. Clever, intelligent, unrepentant, imaginative. Insane. I too. A truly pointless, uttery foul, and rabidly paranoid rant is a joy to behold and a true challenge to answer (if indeed such a thing is possible). ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2000, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/8 "2000-11-25T23:59:20Z")
> [@](#): > > I too. A truly pointless, uttery foul, and rabidly paranoid rant is a joy to behold and a true challenge to answer (if indeed such a thing is possible). Ummmm, **Jack Dean Tyler** , anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Mu\_Mu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Mu\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mu_Mu)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2000, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/9 "2000-11-26T01:25:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > \*\*The thing with trolls is they are the bullies that couldn’t act without someone else behind them. Now on the net they can do or say whatever they want because they are typing the words and don’t have to see the reactions or really fear any sort of real reprisals. > > If the majority of them had to deal with us face to face when they were going to say this shit, they’d never do it for fear of our retribution. \*\* Somehow this seems self-contradictory. I associate retribution with the bully. It seems to me that if a person wants to speak out without fear of bullies, he just has to create a Nom-de-jour and say whatever he has to say, then leave. I’m sure that’s exactly what we are seeing here, nothing more elaborate than that. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2000, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/10 "2000-11-26T01:43:49Z")
Nope–No miraculous growth formulae for said critters–merely a little thing known as “Junior High School Vacation.” My bet is we’ll not have another rash of bridge underdwellers until the next school vacation! ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2000, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/11 "2000-11-26T02:17:04Z")
> [@](#): > > From **Mu Mu** > I associate retribution with the bully. > It seems to me that if a person wants to speak out without fear of bullies, he just has to create a Nom-de-jour and say whatever he has to say, then leave. I’m sure that’s exactly what we are seeing here, nothing more elaborate than that. Interesting point. I view bullies somewhat differently; they’re aggressors who exploit intimidation as a shock tool. They start from weakness rather than strength. They strike first, hoping to stun others. At heart they’re cowards, hit-and-run dweebs who can’t stand up to sustained, reasoned, civil interactions. No one here has to use hit-and-run tactics to have a voice. Good _Gad_, it’s hard to envision a more diverse, opinionated group. People can say exactly what they think. _But_ they also have to stand up, argue their position rationally and respect others. Takes conviction, control, strength, thought and _self discipline_. A lot of truth can bubble up outta rowdy discourse and mother-'o-_pearl_ this place fosters frank exchanges. So sneak attacks and passive-aggressive sniping are just plain _stupid_, not to mention unneccessary. The venue is provided. Participants must bring their own credibility. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/12 "2000-11-26T02:38:53Z")
Yeah, but you have to admit: telling people who are depressed to off themselves is rather vile, in my opinion. I guess we here are pretty lucky. We have this one little bastard over at Customer’s Suck who keeps trying to invade again and again. He was a mod, until one day, he decided to create new identies. He told people in the forums we were badmouthing posters, and took bits and pieces of out of context conversation from the mods only section and posted it everywhere…he locked up threads, edited threads to make them really messed up, and hacked another mod’s threads and made it look as if she was the one doing it-which resulted in her being temporarily banned, until we got our HTML guy in to fix everything and prove her innocent. Now the same little bastard keeps harassing us-mailing us constantly, threatening to sue. He’s 13! Yeah, it’s you, Greg\_88…you little rat bastard!!! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2000, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/13 "2000-11-26T03:01:19Z")
Not knowing the board at hand: what’s a 13 year old kid doing moderating a serious message board in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2000, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/14 "2000-11-26T03:24:43Z")
Customers Suck is MUCH much much more informal. Hell, you don’t even have to be registered to post there. So it wasn’t really a serious, serious message board. He came to our site, and really seemed to impress us with his maturity. George, the site owner, was looking for new mods, and Greg asked if he could be one. We debated about it, and decided to give him a chance. Yeah, we were wary about it, but back then, CS was still in the middle of numerous upgrades, and we didn’t have any SERIOUS problems. The one day, it happened. Tons of threads deleted. Greg claimed it was his friend, and that he had been logged on at two different computers. Somehow, they traced his ISP…it was ALWAYS him…so we swiftly banned him. Now, George has all of his mods, and NO ONE ELSE. If we need more, we’ll be more careful. AND…somehow they set it up so that Greg can’t even VISIT the site. If he tries to, he gets a Java script message telling him to keep out, or he’ll obtain a virus (it’s fake, of course, but he doesn’t know that…) Sweet. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/15 "2000-11-26T04:41:25Z")
Who was that psycho Brit chick who hated **Uncle Beer** so much? Oh, yeah, **CD Milk**! I liked her; she was funny. Anybody know what board the British Invasion sprang from? I miss that crowd. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2000, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/16 "2000-11-26T04:47:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > …deposit it in the proper trash recepticle. The problem with trolls is that they’re recyclable. (74% post-consumer content, don’t ya know?) ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2000, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/17 "2000-11-26T04:49:23Z")
Maybe I should have said “compost heap.” ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2000, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/18 "2000-11-26T04:51:39Z")
I don’t know why, but I’ve lost my ability to flame trolls to a crisp. I remember my auspicious beginnings here in the Pit, but…my talent… it’s gone! ::looks in horror at her fingers:: ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2000, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/19 "2000-11-26T05:20:58Z")
The problem with chastising a troll is that they’re banned before you even press the “submit reply” button. I remember telling Tramtwo why his acting the way he was was inappropriate. A few hours later, he was banned. Still don’t know why. Sock puppet? Inappropriate comment? Whatever, I trust the mods. Still, that was time well spent. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2000, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686/20 "2000-11-26T05:33:04Z")
> [@](#): > > I for one have always wished for a truly formidable troll. Clever, intelligent, unrepentant, imaginative. Insane. Looking at your register date, I’d say you were here when he was. You arrived after he had posted for a while (although his most notorious thread was still open), but before he departed. _Clever_? In a twisted fashion. _Intelligent_? Yes. _Unrepentant_? He couldn’t even figure out what _he_ should repent of. _Imaginative_? In the manner of the truly… _Insane_? **Certifiably** [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-did-someone-invent-miracle-grow-for-trolls/42686.md?page=2)