# Dammit! I think I creeped a girl out at work and now it's bugging me. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 1, 2015, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982 "2015-05-01T12:52:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/1 "2015-05-01T12:52:07Z")
I’m not a very outgoing person at work. I have a handful of friends but I mainly keep to myself. That said, I always make it a point of introducing myself to new employees. I do this because I want them to feel like I’m approachable should they need anything. Anyway, about four months ago we had a new hire, I didn’t get the chance to introduce myself all day at work as I was too busy. I was, however, how able to catch her in the parking lot after work. I introduced myself and told her if she needed anything to just ask. She was nice in her response but seemed a little taken aback. So FF four months later, this girl is now chatty with everyone except me. Whenever I enter the room, she goes awkwardly silent. It has become very apparent, that there is something about me that puts her off. Look, I don’t want her to be my BFF, I don’t even want her to be my friend. I just want her to NOT be creeped out by me! LOL. Dangit! It’s driving me bonkers! 🙂 I’m trying to think of what I did to put her off, and the only thing I can think of is I approached her in the parking lot. Maybe she felt vulnerable? Sigh… Anyway, I know there is nothing I can do to “fix” it. Any effort to do so would only make it worse. Oh well, maybe writing about it will make me feel better. ---
**Author:** ![Gothic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Gothic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gothic)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/2 "2015-05-01T14:12:17Z")
How far did she run before you caught her? I would not give it any more thought. She may become quiet because she is saying something inappropriate for work. Saying hello and good night has gone a long way for me. Two places I like to keep my mouth shut and give people lots of space are parking lots and restrooms. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/3 "2015-05-01T14:21:23Z")
Maybe she clams up because she’s talking about the giant crush she has on you 🙂 I’d be very surprised if she’s still hung up on your little exchange four months ago, and if that’s the case, I’d say you’re just as well not to have to deal with her. ---
**Author:** ![Gothic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Gothic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gothic)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/4 "2015-05-01T14:26:41Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Maybe she clams up because she’s talking about the giant crush she has on you 🙂 > > . Wow, that would really mess with my head. Good luck Shakes not thinking about that. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/5 "2015-05-01T14:34:47Z")
Conversely, she totally hates him and she’s plotting his demise… :eek: I’m probably wrong about that. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/6 "2015-05-01T14:35:26Z")
How can you be certain it was that conversation in the garage that creeped her out? It could have been an infinite number of other things you do which you’re not aware of. Sleep tight! ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/7 "2015-05-01T14:39:10Z")
If you have any relationship with the folks that you see her with, go talk to them. Not about this situation, just talk in general. And not necessarily when she’s standing there, but any time. In fact the first time make sure she’s \*not \*there. Soon enough she’ll happen to see you interacting normally with those coworkers. And she’ll see you’re not a creep and most importantly she’ll see that they’re not being weirded out. Eventually you can come talk to the group while she’s already there. Definitely avoid dealing with her at all when there’s just the two of you. Maybe that’s enough to calm her down. Or maybe she’s just one of those useless people who goes through life ruled by ignorant imaginary fears. Which you inadvertently triggered, and for which there is no un-trigger. Live and learn for next time. Don’t approach people in parking lots. Let them come to you. Or not as they choose. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/8 "2015-05-01T14:39:14Z")
Or, maybe she feels awkward because she WAS initially a little creeped out by the parking lot encounter (possibly she was lost in thought and you startled her?). Perhaps she voiced it to someone even. And she now realizes how wrong she was and feels embarrassed for what she felt, or thought, or said. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/9 "2015-05-01T15:03:54Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > If you have any relationship with the folks that you see her with, go talk to them. Not about this situation, just talk in general. And not necessarily when she’s standing there, but any time. In fact the first time make sure she’s \*not \*there. > > Soon enough she’ll happen to see you interacting normally with those coworkers. And she’ll see you’re not a creep and most importantly she’ll see that they’re not being weirded out. Eventually you can come talk to the group while she’s already there. Definitely avoid dealing with her at all when there’s just the two of you. > . Heh, I already tried this. One of the girls she’s most chatty with is a close _work friend_ of mine. Creeped out girl has seen us chat and laugh together lots of times. So surely she knows I don’t keep pickled body parts in my fridge. [And no, I can’t talk to the other girl, as she’s a big ol’ blabbermouth and will repeat anything I say to her.] ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/10 "2015-05-01T15:18:24Z")
Just to be clear … I definitely suggest you keep your concerns totally to yourself. There’s no way telling anyone, the confused girl or any third party, anything about this could possibly be helpful. It’d be sure to backfire somehow. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/11 "2015-05-01T15:58:31Z")
If she can’t handle normal social interaction, that’s her problem, not yours. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/12 "2015-05-01T16:08:06Z")
To be clear, this was the parking lot at her apartment building, right? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/13 "2015-05-01T16:32:27Z")
I’d break the ice with music. Tell her you really, really like [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyvXgcT1pGo): _You can take your guns to town or run But there is no forbidden planet far enough The slasher knows you’ll trip over a tree trunk But you still wander off alone no matter what. There’s no end like safe and sound And no beauty like asleep There’s no mattress, no soft ground And no film treatment for my life as a creep_ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/14 "2015-05-01T16:39:18Z")
_Every Breath You Take…_ ---
**Author:** ![RetroVertigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@RetroVertigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RetroVertigo)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/15 "2015-05-01T16:52:49Z")
Just drop it. Any action you take at this point will just come off as creepy (since it had been 4 months from the incident). ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/16 "2015-05-01T16:54:03Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > [And no, I can’t talk to the other girl, as she’s a big ol’ blabbermouth and will repeat anything I say to her.] I’m not entirely sure that’s a bad thing. Some time, ask Blabbermouth if she knows of anything you’ve done to bother or offend NewGirl. Keep it casual, and if you think it’s really necessary, make it clear (very briefly; you don’t want to protest too much) you’re not trying to be NewGirl’s BFF or anything; you just want to make sure you haven’t done anything accidentally that you should apologize for. It’s perfectly normal to ask one person if you’ve offended another one; just don’t make it a giant deal (two sentences, max. “Hey Blabbermouth, you don’t know if I’ve offended NewGirl or anything? She just always seems extra quiet when I’m around.”) What’s the downside in Blabbermouth telling NewGirl that? (Assuming that you really are friendly enough with Blabbermouth that she won’t actively slant everything against you, and that she’s grown-up enough to believe you. If Blabbermouth is a gossip because she likes stirring up conflict and/or so immature that she can’t believe a man isn’t trying to get into a woman’s pants, then, yeah, no conversation is called for). ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/17 "2015-05-01T17:03:06Z")
She either has a crush on you, or you remind her, uncannily, freakily, of some ex-boyfriend she hates. In either case, she already has a \*\*Shakes \*\*shrine in her apartment, for good or evil. Sleep well. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/18 "2015-05-01T17:08:36Z")
In the parking lot encounter, any chance your fly was down? ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/19 "2015-05-01T17:10:25Z")
Maybe she keeps wondering who the hell you’re talking about when you refer to the girls you work with.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982/20 "2015-05-01T17:13:34Z")
What other employees say about you when you are not around? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-i-think-i-creeped-a-girl-out-at-work-and-now-its-bugging-me/718982.md?page=2)