# Dammit!! If ya' don't want me starring at your boobs; don't put glitter on them!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 24, 2006, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689 "2006-03-24T05:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/21 "2006-03-24T11:54:47Z")
Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/22 "2006-03-24T12:09:58Z")
Reminds me of one of my favourite T-shirts, worn by a very shapely woman who was walking down the steps at the train station as I was walking up. The legend, across her chest, simply read **stop staring at my tits**. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/23 "2006-03-24T12:33:14Z")
[QUOTE=dnooman] Cleavage = look here. Always. Chicks showing cleavage that don’t want people looking can go to hell. If looking is so bad, stop making us do it. Meh. [/QUOTE] Dude, don’t blame your infantile breast obsession on me. They’re just boobs. They just grew there, and they’re not that big a deal to me. I’m wearing this shirt because it’s a pretty and flattering shirt, and I like it. Believe it or not, I gave you not a thought when I got dressed. 😛 Seriously, though. It’s okay to look. It’s not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there’s a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/24 "2006-03-24T12:50:59Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] Dude, don’t blame your infantile breast obsession on me. They’re just boobs. They just grew there, and they’re not that big a deal to me. I’m wearing this shirt because it’s a pretty and flattering shirt, and I like it. Believe it or not, I gave you not a thought when I got dressed. 😛 Seriously, though. It’s okay to look. It’s not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there’s a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts? [/QUOTE] I’d like very much to answer you, but I’m too busy starring at your tits. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tabby\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tabby\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabby_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/25 "2006-03-24T12:53:13Z")
I’m sorry, did the boob locomotive device say something? I didn’t quite catch it. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/26 "2006-03-24T12:57:17Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] Dude, don’t blame your infantile breast obsession on me. They’re just boobs. They just grew there, and they’re not that big a deal to me. I’m wearing this shirt because it’s a pretty and flattering shirt, and I like it. Believe it or not, I gave you not a thought when I got dressed. 😛 Seriously, though. It’s okay to look. It’s not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there’s a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts? [/QUOTE] Believe me, my obsession with your breasts is in no way infantile. I’m not hoping that they will lactate, and I care far more about whether you have a _hawwt rack_ than any pre-potty-trained person would. By “flattering” do you mean you put it on because it shows off your tits, and you like calling men on it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/27 "2006-03-24T13:01:58Z")
[QUOTE=Sierra Indigo] I never got my invitation to the Girls Club™. It must have got lost in the mail. But I was wondering, those girls who do put the sweater puppies on display, then get all “Don’t you stare at my boobs!” when people’s eyes wander where they are wont to do, are they playing some kind of power game? It’s always seemed kind of head-trippish to me. Like waving a piece of string in front of a cat’s nose, then smacking it on the head when it gives an experimental bat at the wiggly thing you’re wiggling at it. [/QUOTE] I personnally always assumed that these displays were intended to caught the eye of guys they could be interested in, and that they get all offended when the beholder doesn’t belong to the desired category. So, that if you’re a young cute boy they’ll be pleased, but will expect old, out of shape blokes to look the other way and will be pissed off if they don’t. Though I happen to not have that much of an interest in boobs and cleevages, so that’s rarely a problem for me (though I would mention that even when you’re not interested, eyes tend to slip towards proeminently displayed boobs, just because they’re there). ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/28 "2006-03-24T13:03:21Z")
> [@](#): > > Dude, don’t blame your infantile breast obsession on me. They’re just boobs. They just grew there, and they’re not that big a deal to me. “Infantile” it’s not, or women would be just as obsessed. I’ve written often enough on this Board about my ideas on the origins of breast-obsession. It’s hard-wired into us guys. It’s a _very_ big deal for us. Very often a glance isn’t anywhere near enough. And a star-spangled bosom would rate heavy interest even among the non-obsessed. That said, any guy with even an ounce of class ought to at least make an effort not to talk to the boobs. I like the button that says: "Pay no attention to these Breasts These aren’t the Breasts you’re looking for. You can go about your business. Move along." ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/29 "2006-03-24T13:04:07Z")
Why do women get mad when you stare at any part of them? I dont get it. If girls spent all day staring at my ass or the huge bulge in my pants (I mean… if there was a huge bulge in my pants), that would not upset me at all. I would just build my self esteem. Maybe even my ego. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/30 "2006-03-24T13:29:37Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] Dude, don’t blame your infantile breast obsession on me. They’re just boobs. They just grew there, and they’re not that big a deal to me. I’m wearing this shirt because it’s a pretty and flattering shirt, and I like it. Believe it or not, I gave you not a thought when I got dressed. 😛 Seriously, though. It’s okay to look. It’s not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there’s a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts? [/QUOTE] I can agree with that. Except when the woman in question is a bartender. Who is wearing a lowcut shirt and glitter across her chest knowing (probably very conciously) that this is going to increase her tips for the night. She is putting on a show for which she expects to be compensated. She doesn’t want people noticing, no glitter, more discrete tops - and quite possibly a change in career is in order. Something about this is a little like working a pole and saying no one knows what color your eyes are. Being a supermodel and saying “no one appreciates my intellegence.” Or for that matter, being a physicist and hiding behind thick glasses and a dowdy lab coat and saying “no one every sees me as pretty.” Everyone is deserving of respect. In some professions, we respect the amount of cleveage you have. In that case, staring at it is showing it respect. It isn’t OK to talk to my chest at work, but the chances I’m actually showing clevage at work with glitter spread across it are nil. If I show up at a party with a low cut tight shirt and glitter spread across my chest, I’m going to be insulted if you don’t talk to it. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/31 "2006-03-24T13:51:36Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] By “flattering” do you mean you put it on because it shows off your tits, and you like calling men on it? 😃 [/QUOTE] No, I mean that it minimizes my 340 lb frame, and hides the enormous Basketcase-like tumor on my left side. Still hot, boys? 😃 **Dangerosa** , I agree with everything you said. If I’m showing loads of sparkly cleavage, of \*course \* I expect people to look. But there are plenty of guys who’ll talk to your chest if you’re wearing anything other than a parka. The fact is, what would be a modest V neck on a B-cup is going to be just a bit cleavagy (and I do mean a bit, not a full on tittie show) on a D cup. Does that mean I should restrict myself to crewnecks? Hell no. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/32 "2006-03-24T13:53:54Z")
You know, I genuinely feel bad for these women. I really do . . . When I put “Li’l Trip & The Twins” into my banana hammock and go to the beach, is it not enough that I have to constantly remind you that ‘my eyes are up here’? I mean, true that my intellect is as large as my. . . vocabulary, but I am not that imposing of a man to insist you keep staring down at my feet. C’mon now. Be big about it, and just look me square in the eye when talking to me. Tripler Yes, I’m gifted. . . in smarts. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/33 "2006-03-24T13:54:39Z")
If a guy were to walk into a bar in a push-up jock strap and purple cod piece I’d assume he was wishing for women to stare. If a woman walks into a place with a butt-floss bathing suit I expect there may be one or two that will steal a look at her butt. If a teenage dyes their hair pink and orange and spikes it straight up I’d assume they were trolling for a reaction. If you don’t want to go fishing, don’t put a shiny lure on the bait. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/34 "2006-03-24T13:55:47Z")
> [@](#): > > No, I mean that it minimizes my 340 lb frame, and hides the enormous Basketcase-like tumor on my left side. Still hot, boys? There’s a famous story about that – some (supposedly – I’ve never checked) medieval or earlier story about a man obsessed with a Roman woman’s chest, until she opened her dress and showed it to be a tumor. It was a piece intended to show how flimsy and fleeting were the fleshly delights of this world. Whereas the _real_ male reply to your original response is – “Yeah, for the side without the tumor”. Men are incorrigible. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/35 "2006-03-24T14:05:59Z")
Three-point-two million years of evolution as a social animal and people still expect all interactions to be covered by one (or at most, two) simple rules. Actually, the drive to make everything easy to the point of “if s/he does X, it’s okay to do Y” is what makes it so complicated. My ideas on the topic (I’ll remember who asked me in a minute): 1. It’s okay for a person to invite attention to her breasts or any of his/her physical or non-physical attributes, within certain flexible guidelines. 2. Having done that, it’s _still_ possible and permissible for that person to find the attention paid to be excessive, or offensively prurient, or misdirected, or too persistent or exclusive, or just plain creepy. Let’s try a thought experiment. You’re a guy, and you have hypothesized that projecting an image of success just may make you more attractive to women. So you buy (or rent) a gold-plated Maserati Fellatio 6000 in which to tool (Ha!) around town. And it _works_! So you’re not offended if the attractive woman next to you asks about your health insurance, how much your house cost, and persistently tries to peek at your bank-book, right? Or if the mostly much plainer women and more than a few men in the room do the same thing? Because _you’re_ the one drawing attention to your financial status, and to draw the line somewhere, or to not welcome that attention, democratically, from _everyone_ in sight would be hypocritical. No? Stuck-up bitch. 1. If someone acts in a way that prompts a response from you, and that someone then punishes you for that response, you can: (a) decide to play it safe by acting the way the someone _says_ they want you to act, and see what happens; (b) play it even safer and decide that the signals are too confusing to continue the interaction, and politely disengage; © decide that the someone is hypocritically misbehaving at your expense and retaliate; (d) reconsider the appropriateness of your original response. Any of these _might_ be the proper reaction, and the one you choose will open some new options and foreclose others for both of you. But you have to choose based not on what your magic mind-reading skills tell you she will do (if _they_ worked, you wouldn’t be in this situation) but on a personal set of values that you’ve decided are important. You can honestly tell her that her own actions in decorating her chest fooled into thinking that’s where she wanted your attention. You can make a joke and tell her you were part of the search and rescue team looking for Tinker Bell. You can apologize and tell her that while you can’t undo it, you won’t do it again. Or, you can keep silent and stiff her on the tip, in the hope that this will modify _her_ behavior, at least toward customers. 4)Oh, and just as a general rule, good bartenders _never_ consider their customers to be anything but a source of income. They’ll look out for them to the extent that a shepherd looks out for his flock, but they’re looking to make their livelihood from you, not their life. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/36 "2006-03-24T14:08:10Z")
Wow, this weirds me out a bit. The times I do wear a cleavage-revealing shirt - not very often, mostly at the Ren Faire - is to show off a bit. You know, break out of my slacks and conservative blouses. I’m \*expecting \* people to look. I’d prefer you not talk solely to them, but I’m only going to be flattered (and maybe blush a little) if you look down repeatedly. If it’s on display…! ---
**Author:** ![MissMossie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@MissMossie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissMossie)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/37 "2006-03-24T14:14:34Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] \*\\*Seriously, though. It’s okay to look. It’s not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there’s a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts? [/QUOTE] I think this hit the nail on the head. If a woman covers her tits with glitter, then she probably shouldn’t get upset when people look at them, but there’s a definate difference between looking and having conversations with. When somebody is talking with me, I expect them to be doing just that, not having a conversation with my breasts. If someone is talking to my breasts exclusively, I do feel a bit objectified. If I’m flaunting my goods and somebody is openly appreciating them, well, that’s what their on display for. [QUOTE=Tripler] When I put “Li’l Trip & The Twins” into my banana hammock and go to the beach [/QUOTE] I had to read that several times before I realized what you meant. Then I laughed…really, really hard. -Mosquito ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/38 "2006-03-24T14:27:25Z")
My feeling is that if she dressed in a way to display them, and accessorize them with glitter, she wanted you to notice them. But, as the point has been made already, once you’ve noticed, it’d be somewhat polite to move on and if you’re going to talk to her, talk to HER, not to them. They’re not going to answer you. They’re boobs, not her brain, not her vocal cords. If, after some witty conversation, and such, she finds you of interest or is merely warm for your form (no, I’m not so old that I used that phrase a lot, it just came out), then perhaps at some point in the near future she’ll be pleased to let you get to know them on a more personal basis. Believe me here, the chicks that find it amusing that you’re ogling the fun bags are NOT the ones you want to play with. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/39 "2006-03-24T14:58:17Z")
[QUOTE=clairobscur] I personnally always assumed that these displays were intended to caught the eye of guys they could be interested in, and that they get all offended when the beholder doesn’t belong to the desired category. So, that if you’re a young cute boy they’ll be pleased, but will expect old, out of shape blokes to look the other way and will be pissed off if they don’t. [/QUOTE] True as far as I can tell. Me, when I’m wearing my “I want to hear 'em bricklayers whistle” jeans I don’t get all worked up if a lawyer is likewise affected. I had these students in Chemistry Lab who insisted in coming to class in double-half-moon shorts and stilettos. The first time they came to the lab like that I told them they had to go change; they accused me of being a dirty bitch and other language I can’t be bothered to remember (interesting method for getting on the TA’s good side) and I simply showed to them the papers with THEIR signatures, saying that the safety rules included flat, closed-toe shoes (preferably sneakers) and either long trousers or long skirts (preferably long jeans), for both sexes. Ouips. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689/40 "2006-03-24T15:40:39Z")
Reminds me of the Dave Chappelle (paraphrased) quote: 'You’re not a whore. You’re just wearing a whore’s uniform." [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-if-ya-dont-want-me-starring-at-your-boobs-dont-put-glitter-on-them/349689.md?page=3)