# Dammit, news editor, read the AP Stylebook before I throw it at your fucking forehead **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 7, 2005, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901 "2005-11-07T13:30:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/1 "2005-11-07T13:30:31Z")
I’m sure those of you who’ve worked as copyeditors can relate. The first straw was when he got huffy after I corrected poor sentence construction and incorrect word choice in three of his articles. The second straw was when he announced that _Temple of Doom_ was a better film than _Last Crusade_. The third straw was when he drew me aside to tell me that I was overstepping myself by rewording and rearranging clauses. The fourth straw was when he KEPT. FUCKING. RANDOMLY LEAVING OUT OBJECTS AND VERBS, leaving us to guess at what he was trying to get at. The fifth straw was when…oh, there’s too many. News Editor at my university paper, you are a TOOL. You only change about 40% of my corrections, meaning that when your articles come out with unparallel sentence structure and misused thesaurus words, _I_ look like a doof. Yes, you’re right, I am five years younger than you. HEY, GUESS WHAT? THAT DOESN’T MEAN THE WORD IS SPELLED “DISSAPEAR”. And by the way, spending six years at a state university? Kind of shooting yourself in the foot when you brag about how long you’ve been here. Also, a super-special FUCK YOU TO HELL for refusing to make my changes, meaning that the editor-in-chief and I had to WAIT UNTIL YOU LEFT to do them behind your back, leaving me here at… what? what time is it? FIVE-THIRTY IN THE FUCKING MORNING. MONDAY MORNING. I HAVE A TEN O’CLOCK CLASS WITH A CUTE BOY, ASSWIPE. WAY TO BE A DICKFACE. Now, I’ve got my corrected copy and the final copy in front of me. I am going to check the final copy _very carefully_ for inconsistencies, and then the editor-in-chief and I are going to send it to press. If you kvetch about your “authorial voice” being “compromised” tomorrow when it comes out? So help me, God, I will JAM YOU IN THE EYE WITH MY RED PEN. We are a NEWSPAPER. You know what that means? IT MEANS WE LIVE AND DIE BY THE AP STYLEBOOK, AND A LITTLE STRUNK AND WHITE WOULDN’T HURT YOUR OVERWRITTEN DREK ARTICLES EITHER. _NEWS_PAPER. We write about the NEWS. It is not a forum for expressing yourself, and even the editorial section follows AP style guidelines. SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND MAKE MY CHANGES BEFORE I KICK YOU IN THE TEETH. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/2 "2005-11-07T14:00:06Z")
> [@](#): > > If you kvetch about your “authorial voice” being “compromised” tomorrow when it comes out? So help me, God, I will [del]JAM[/del] JAB YOU IN THE EYE WITH MY RED PEN. -Your welcome. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/3 "2005-11-07T14:24:09Z")
> [@Squink](#): > > - **You’re** welcome. 😉 Gaudere’s Law. Adam ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/4 "2005-11-07T14:24:52Z")
No, given the vehemence suffusing the rant, I’d say “jam”, the more forceful word, is the better one, despite the slightly awkward structure it creates. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/5 "2005-11-07T14:35:26Z")
If your editor leaves, could I have his job? I’ve always wanted a job where my superior and my subordinate correct and complete my work, yet I don’t get thrown out of the job. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/6 "2005-11-07T14:45:36Z")
Is this the SOU paper? What’s it called, the Siskiyou? Yeah, in my two-odd years going to school there, it wasn’t exactly the paragon of good writing. I feel for ya. ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/7 "2005-11-07T15:17:30Z")
> [@Tracy Lord](#): > > Also, a super-special FUCK YOU TO HELL for refusing to make my changes, meaning that the editor-in-chief and I had to WAIT UNTIL YOU LEFT to do them behind your back, leaving me here at… what? what time is it? Sounds to me like the editor in chief needs to grow some balls. Or ovaries. Or whatever it is that lets you assert your authority. That’s what the _in chief_ part MEANS. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/8 "2005-11-07T15:21:25Z")
Temple of Doom \*was \* a better movie than the Last Crusade. IMO, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/9 "2005-11-07T16:04:31Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Temple of Doom \*was \* a better movie than the Last Crusade. > > IMO, anyway. I think it’s time for your medicine. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/10 "2005-11-07T16:05:29Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > I think it’s time for your medicine. I have a good reason! That’s a favorite Indian actor, and there was all kinds of Hindi in there, which I could understand… Please, not the medicine. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/11 "2005-11-07T16:15:21Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I have a good reason! That’s a favorite Indian actor, and there was all kinds of Hindi in there, which I could understand… > Please, not the medicine. Ok, this is fair. You liked ToD for various personal reasons more than LC. This does not mean that you think it is a better movie, yes? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/12 "2005-11-07T16:17:28Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > Ok, this is fair. You liked ToD for various personal reasons more than LC. > > This does not mean that you think it is a better movie, yes? Actually, there was a lot of Last Crusade I didn’t like. For one, it wasn’t as “adventurous” as ToD. There was a lot of tame stuff. For another, some of it got downright silly. I adore Sean Connery, though, so all was forgiven. But as for better movie, well, that’s all subjective, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Dan\_Norder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4af34b/32.png) [@Dan\_Norder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dan_Norder)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/13 "2005-11-07T16:46:08Z")
I was pasionate about my college newspaper. This rant made me nostalgic. I agree though with the poster above that the editor-in-chief needs to put his or her foot down. This is a _news_ editor for crying out loud, so he should know the only voice he should have is AP style. If the editor-in-chief is waiting around to change it later you all should just save some time and do it ahead of time, and if he raises a fit, let him walk. ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/14 "2005-11-07T16:57:18Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > No, given the vehemence suffusing the rant, I’d say “jam”, the more forceful word, is the better one, despite the slightly awkward structure it creates. 😃 Yes, “jam” was definitely the intended word. “Jab” implies briefness. “Jam” implies I’m going to wedge it in there and maybe wiggle it around for good measure, which is definitely true. > [@tomndebb](#): > > If your editor leaves, could I have his job? I’ve always wanted a job where my superior and my subordinate correct and complete my work, yet I don’t get thrown out of the job. YES! Alas, since we’re a small college with a small journalism program, there’s literally no one to replace him – it’s either put up with him or take on the section ourselves, and neither of us have enough time to do that. The editor-in-chief kvetched about it last night when I asked if there was anything he could do, but in short, no, there’s no way to kick him out without screwing ourselves, and no way to reprimand him (it’s not a graded option). So, in short, sucks. > [@Gadarene](#): > > Is this the SOU paper? What’s it called, the Siskiyou? Yeah, in my two-odd years going to school there, it wasn’t exactly the paragon of good writing. I feel for ya. Hey, I write for the paper! 😉 There’s some of us dedicated to putting out as close to professional-quality as we can, and there’s some of us who, um, are tools. It happens. ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/15 "2005-11-07T17:00:07Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > No, given the vehemence suffusing the rant, I’d say “jam”, the more forceful word, is the better one, despite the slightly awkward structure it creates. 😃 Yes, “jam” was definitely the intended word. “Jab” implies briefness. “Jam” implies I’m going to wedge it in there and maybe wiggle it around for good measure, which is definitely true. > [@tomndebb](#): > > If your editor leaves, could I have his job? I’ve always wanted a job where my superior and my subordinate correct and complete my work, yet I don’t get thrown out of the job. YES! Alas, since we’re a small college with a small journalism program, there’s literally no one to replace him – it’s either put up with him or take on the section ourselves, and neither of us have enough time to do that. The editor-in-chief kvetched about it last night when I asked if there was anything he could do, but in short, no, there’s no way to kick him out without screwing ourselves, and no way to reprimand him (it’s not a graded option). So, in short, sucks. > [@Gadarene](#): > > Is this the SOU paper? What’s it called, the Siskiyou? Yeah, in my two-odd years going to school there, it wasn’t exactly the paragon of good writing. I feel for ya. Hey, I write for the paper! 😉 There’s some of us dedicated to putting out as close to professional-quality as we can, and there’s some of us who, um, are tools. It happens. I’m not going to address the ToD vs. LC question any further, except to say that Anaamika is a whackadoodle and Tom Stoppard wins over Kate Capshaw any day of the week with his eyes closed and the pen and paper behind his back. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/16 "2005-11-07T17:01:57Z")
Also, the news editor is SO EVIL that he tricked the hampsters into a double-post. FIEND OF SATAN, I SAY! ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/17 "2005-11-07T17:10:45Z")
It could be worse. The news director at my internship used to work for AP, so he’s a walking stylebook. That’s a lot of fun right there. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/18 "2005-11-07T17:15:08Z")
Ah! A walking stylebook! That sounds _delightful!_ My job would be a breeze! It would be fun! Professional, competent, non-whiny fun! _makes graspy hands_ ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/19 "2005-11-07T18:25:40Z")
Yes, but you can’t say “jam you in the eye with my red pen.” You can’t jam someone, unless you’re jamming them into something else. You would have to say, “jam my red pen into your eye.” Be that as it may… as one copy-editor to another, I sympathize heartily. Boy, do I ever. It always seems as though the pissier and more obstreperous the client, the worse the copy. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901/20 "2005-11-07T19:46:53Z")
ToD was a flawed gem, but quite good. The only real detraction was the shrillness of the poor helpless “Save me Indyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” Kate Capshaw. ToD had one of the finest opening sequences of any movie. Last Crusade was a tired rehash of the themes we already saw in Raiders. It had the scattered continuity and plotting of a Dan Brown novel, and turned Indy from the greatest adventure hero in history into a bumbling clown who tripped his way to success with accidental Mr Magoo tactics. Sean Connery was just tacked on comic relief. Last Crusade was shit. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dammit-news-editor-read-the-ap-stylebook-before-i-throw-it-at-your-fucking-forehead/329901.md?page=2)