# Damn Bitch, Why Should I Take a Shower, We Are Not Having Sex **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 13, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350 "2003-04-13T00:14:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/41 "2003-04-13T19:44:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TJ555 The Golfer \* > \*\*To clarify, I had taken a shower the night before. It was only around 18 hours since I had showered. The only reason she knew I hadn’t showered is because I said that I hadn’t done anything yet all day. > > And I called her a bitch as joke and she didn’t take offence. If I was really mad I would have called her a cunt. OK? \*\* Wow. You are class and deportment embodied in… a creepy stanky boy. You’ve called her a cunt and she still talks to you? Have you been on Jerry Springer? ---
**Author:** ![Cavalier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/97f17d/32.png) [@Cavalier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cavalier)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/42 "2003-04-13T19:55:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lissa \* > \*\*You guys are really not going to believe this, but I once had a roomate who NEVER bathed. Shockingly enough, he did not smell. I thought at first that he must, and that the rest of us in the house were just used to it to the point we couldn’t detect it, but no, people who visited us said that he didn’t smell to them, either. His hair did not become greasy, either. > > He was a freak of nature, I guess. Only once in the eight months he lived with us did he even wash, and that was only because his girlfriend begged him because she felt he must be covered in germs, even if he had no body odor. \*\* I believe it. One wash in eight months? Sounds about right. I’m like him, but I was my hair and ears. I soaked my feet about three months ago, washed my upper body about a year ago and last took a bath or shower about three years ago. I’ve been told that I don’t smell. Not that smelling of sweat wouldn’t have its [good points](http://msnbc.com/news/885348.asp?cp1=1), I just don’t smell. I did smell when I used to wash, the last time I smelled of sweat was the day after my last bath. I am an unkempt individual, all I do in the way of grooming is the occasional haircut, not professionally done, so there is less to wash. If God had meant for us to be clean he would have given us natural cleansing oils. I shouldn’t be sharing this with you people. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by avabeth \* > **Had I been your friend and you’d called me a bitch, you’d be feeling nothing in the groinage due to the fact that my knee would have been implanted there without hesitation.** If you’d sexually assault a friend because of a mild insult you really need to get help. Seriously. Before you seriously hurt someone or force someone to seriously hurt you to defend himself. Really, for the good of yourself and society. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/43 "2003-04-13T20:07:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cavalier \* > \*\* > > If you’d sexually assault a friend because of a mild insult you really need to get help. Seriously. Before you seriously hurt someone or force someone to seriously hurt you to defend himself. > > Really, for the good of yourself and society. \*\* As this is a hypothetical situation since my male friends respect me enough not to refer to me as ‘bitch’, more than likely, this scenario would never happen. But I don’t think it’s appropriate for any guy to refer to his friend as ‘bitch’. That’s where we differ - I don’t see it as a ‘mild insult’. Ava ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/44 "2003-04-13T20:10:20Z")
> [@](#): > > One wash in eight months? Sounds about right. That’s disgusting. You wash your hair but not your upper body? Why, you took an oath or something? Doesn’t make sense. My mind bogles at the thought of going a month without a shower. On average I shower 1.3 times a day. Really, it’s just fucking disgusting and it doesn’t matter wether you smell or not. > [@](#): > > Had I been your friend and you’d called me a bitch, you’d be feeling nothing in the groinage due to the fact that my knee would have been implanted there without hesitation. Are you a sociopath or something? You’d suffer the consequences if you tried pulling that bitchy attitude on me, I assure you. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/45 "2003-04-13T20:22:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pedro \* > \*\* > Are you a sociopath or something? You’d suffer the consequences if you tried pulling that bitchy attitude on me, I assure you. \*\* Not a sociopath, I can assure you of that. To be completely honest, I haven’t hit or touched anyone in a violent way since I was five and my brother took my cupcake at a birthday party. It was a knee-jerk response to what I perceived to be a childish insult - and it was a childish response, which I probably should have re-read before hitting ‘send’. But no, I’m a very non-violent person. My issue was the use of the word ‘bitch’. I’m not a huge fan of the word. Ava ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/46 "2003-04-13T20:22:33Z")
Ya know, if your friends have to bring up the subject of your personal hygiene before coming over to your apartment, it’s a sign that maybe your own personal judgement about how bad you smell is not reliable. “Hey Bob, we’re going to a movie. Wanna go? Uh, and could you please take a shower before showing up? Thanks a bunch.” Oh, and I must point out that the possibility of having sex was probably a lot greater before you said, “Why should I shower? Are we going to have sex?” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/47 "2003-04-13T20:23:22Z")
“Bitch” can definitely be a term of endearment. “My bitch” too. “A bitch” is almost always a bad thing, in my experience. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/48 "2003-04-13T20:37:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by avabeth \* > **My issue was the use of the word ‘bitch’. I’m not a huge fan of the word.** Fair enough. If you said it in jest, great no harm done. If not I have an issue with your attitude. See, I wouldn’t normally use that word but if I did I don’t give a fuck how offended you are either. Fortunately, I have never, ever used violence (read reply to violence with violence) on a woman. But if you give a girly slap that doesn’t hurt, I will put on my serious face and tell you NOT to do it EVER again. Slap me hard, I’ll slap you a lot HARDER. If you’d ever hit me in the groin… well that’s a really good way to get yourself a black eye. Because it’s really not an appropriate responde to an offensive word. ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/49 "2003-04-13T20:57:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dr. Lao \* > \*\*“Bitch” can definitely be a term of endearment. “My bitch” too. “A bitch” is almost always a bad thing, in my experience. \*\* how about BEE-OTCH? 1.My daughter and i call each other Bitch all the time(I am male) It is funny when it isn’t meant to really degrade someone. I have black friends who call me “cracker” or even “old nigah”. 2.I take a shower every day, but I have to say when I don’t for some reason , my skin feels better (not as dry) and when I had my hair longer , it looked better to me if i hadn’t shampooed it for a day or two. (more natural oils in it I reckon) We probably do bathe too much in this country. Deoderant is a must though. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/50 "2003-04-13T21:04:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pedro \* > See, I wouldn’t normally use that word but if I did I don’t give a fuck how offended you are either. Respect for the opposite sex is another on the List of Ways to Ensure You Get Laid. Respect for others’ (educated, in some cases) opinions is a high one on the List of Ways to Make Friends on Here. Not caring how someone feels is a really good way to make sure you never get fucked or friends. > [@](#): > > Slap me hard, I’ll slap you a lot HARDER. You will want to get **avabeth** completely alone if you ever try this, because I’m fairly sure that any of her friends, let alone her, would be … probably not too pleased with this. > [@](#): > > If you’d ever hit me in the groin… well that’s a really good way to get yourself a black eye. Because it’s really not an appropriate responde to an offensive word. Giving a woman a black eye is an excellent way to land yourself in jail and/or lose most of the friends/respect you have. Employers also are not terribly keen on hiring someone with a history of domestic, or other, unprovoked abuse. On the other hand, kneeing someone in the balls for calling you a bitch is most likely not going to have that same effect. If you know someone doesn’t like a word, DON’T FUCKING USE IT. It’s not _that_ hard a concept to understand. Or did nobody ever teach you how to act human in public? ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/51 "2003-04-13T21:11:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*Respect for the opposite sex is another on the List of Ways to Ensure You Get Laid. Respect for others’ (educated, in some cases) opinions is a high one on the List of Ways to Make Friends on Here. > > Not caring how someone feels is a really good way to make sure you never get fucked or friends. > > You will want to get **avabeth** completely alone if you ever try this, because I’m fairly sure that any of her friends, let alone her, would be … probably not too pleased with this. > > \*\* I’m probably an odd duck in that if I hit anyone, male or female, I’d say that gives them the right to hit me back. But since I’ve never raised a hand to anyone and never will, I wouldn’t get myself in this position. Of course, should it happen and even I say it’s fair game to hit me back, that doesn’t account for what my friends (and boyfriend) would do to that person. I know that ‘bitch’ is used as a term of endearment at times, but that still doesn’t make it right. Anytime a woman dares to stand up for herself or her views, she’s labeled a bitch. Yet let a man stand up for those exact same views, and he’s applauded for it. Every time someone calls a woman a bitch as a jest or a term of endarment, we get set back in women’s rights. Ava ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/52 "2003-04-13T21:14:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by avabeth \* > \*\*Every time someone calls a woman a bitch as a jest or a term of endarment, we get set back in women’s rights. > > \*\* Oh, I think this might be taking it a bit far. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/53 "2003-04-13T21:22:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by avabeth \* > \*\*I know that ‘bitch’ is used as a term of endearment at times, but that still doesn’t make it right. Anytime a woman dares to stand up for herself or her views, she’s labeled a bitch. Yet let a man stand up for those exact same views, and he’s applauded for it. Every time someone calls a woman a bitch as a jest or a term of endarment, we get set back in women’s rights. > > Ava \*\* Bitch, errrrrr Ava, I also think that you are going a bit overboard here. When people call each other bitch or nigger and they mean nothing by it, they are actually taking away the power those words have when uttered by the FOOLS who really try to degrade women or blacks. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/54 "2003-04-13T21:32:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by djf750 \* > \*\*Bitch, errrrrr Ava, I also think that you are going a bit overboard here. > > When people call each other bitch or nigger and they mean nothing by it, they are actually taking away the power those words have when uttered by the FOOLS who really try to degrade women or blacks. \*\* I realize exactly what you’re saying. And I know it’s just an attempt to make the words meaningless - but I don’t think it comes across that way to the idiots who believe what the words mean. It’s not a concern for the people who are trying to turn the words into a joke - but the fucktards who truly believe in the meanings of those words will continue to use them because ‘hell, they still use them. Obviously, it doesn’t bother them, so I can still use it.’. That’s all I mean by it. Ava ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/55 "2003-04-13T21:38:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*Respect for the opposite sex is another on the List of Ways to Ensure You Get Laid. Respect for others’ (educated, in some cases) opinions is a high one on the List of Ways to Make Friends on Here. > > Not caring how someone feels is a really good way to make sure you never get fucked or friends.\*\* When I use offensive words disrespect is intended, unless it’s a private thing among friends. Thank you for the lesson in life but none is needed: if I made a wisecrack using the word bitch and **ava** is offended, I will apologize. If I mean to be offensive, then yes, I don’t give a fuck about how she feels about that particular word that prompts her to violence, since I’d never dream of hitting her in the first place. > [@](#): > > **You will want to get avabeth completely alone if you ever try this, because I’m fairly sure that any of her friends, let alone her, would be … probably not too pleased with this.** No, I wouldn’t. I’m not a violent person but I will respond to violence with violence. I’d like to stress hitting me in the groin, unless it’s self defense, is the only thing I can think of that would make me seriously injure a woman. This is nothing personal against **avabeth** of course. > [@](#): > > **Giving a woman a black eye is an excellent way to land yourself in jail and/or lose most of the friends/respect you have. Employers also are not terribly keen on hiring someone with a history of domestic, or other, unprovoked abuse. On the other hand, kneeing someone in the balls for calling you a bitch is most likely not going to have that same effect. If you know someone doesn’t like a word, DON’T FUCKING USE IT. It’s not _that_ hard a concept to understand.** So what’s your point? That there is a double standard? Unprovoked abuse, that’s funny. Get this: If I want to insult someone I use offensive words, I do not respect them and something provokes this attitude. It’s simple. > [@](#): > > \*\*Or did nobody ever teach you how to act human in public? \*\* So acting human is kicking someone in the balls when they call you “a bitch”? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/56 "2003-04-13T21:47:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*You will want to get _avabeth_ completely alone if you ever try {hitting her back}, because I’m fairly sure that any of her friends, let alone her, would be … probably not too pleased with this. \*\* Ah. It’s amazing how much moral courage you develop when you’ve got a lot of people to hide behind. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by iampunha \*\*\* > Giving a woman a black eye is an excellent way to land yourself in jail and/or lose most of the friends/respect you have. Employers also are not terribly keen on hiring someone with a history of domestic, or other, unprovoked abuse. On the other hand, kneeing someone in the balls for calling you a bitch is most likely not going to have that same effect._\* Remarkable that we should be so tolerant of female violence, isn’t it? Btw, you have the weirdest definition of the word “unprovoked”. A truly surprising number of men consider a knee in the balls pretty high on the scale of “provocation”. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \*\*\* > If you know someone doesn’t like a word, DON’T FUCKING USE IT. It’s not _that_ hard a concept to understand. > Or did nobody ever teach you how to act human in public? \*\* And yet you have a problem with applying the same logic towards using excessive violence to someone who’s irritated you? Or did nobody ever teach you that you’re not meant to inflict crippling pain on someone just because they’ve been rude to you? Or that assaulting someone in the expectation that society will bar them from hitting you back is the act of a contemptible coward? IMHO a knee in the balls may be a great way to prevent yourself being raped or murdered. It’s going a smidge too far to be considered “reasonable chastisement”, even if we do consider that a woman has the right to slap a man and expect no comeback. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/57 "2003-04-13T22:10:03Z")
Tell ya what: You can call me “bitch” if I can call you “classless prick.” That okay? It’s just a matter of what tolerance level each person has. I don’t care what folks call each other in their relationships, but no one has to approve of it just because it’s accepted between you and yours. And yes, I think that there is a societal effect…if you don’t believe being referred to as bitches has an effect on the self-esteem issues of young women, then you haven’t worked with the same ones I have. On a personal level, no one–NO ONE–would be wise to refer to me as HIS bitch. Oh, I think not. I may not slap him, but I’d sure put some distance between us. However, if you DO want to call me that, I’d prefer THE Bitch…as in Supreme Queen Bitch of the World. Now _that_ I can live with, at least from people I don’t like. ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/58 "2003-04-13T22:14:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bodypoet \* > \*\* > And yes, I think that there is a societal effect…if you don’t believe being referred to as bitches has an effect on the self-esteem issues of young women, then you haven’t worked with the same ones I have. > > \*\* Can other WOMEN call WOMEN “bitch”? Because I have heard that more than once. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/59 "2003-04-13T22:19:35Z")
> [@](#): > > **avabeth** said: > Anytime a woman dares to stand up for herself or her views, she’s labeled a bitch. Yet let a man stand up for those exact same views, and he’s applauded for it. Every time someone calls a woman a bitch as a jest or a term of endarment, we get set back in women’s rights. Ah the feminist thing. These days when men stand up for themselves or dare to have a positive attitude about themselves, they are mocked or punished. Take a look at sitcoms where men are shown as bumbling oafs who couldn’t keep a home together if there wasn’t a woman running it, commercials where men are shown as being incapable of operating a vacuum cleaner, stove, washing machine, etc. There’s a word that’s commonly used for men who stand up for their views: ‘dickhead’. Y’know, it’s not always some testament to the oppression of women by the patriarchy that one friend called another friend a name in jest, so what’s with always reacting like it’s the end of the world? > [@](#): > > **Pedro** said: > So acting human is kicking someone in the balls when they call you “a bitch”? Welcome to the state of Feminism, Gloria Steinem, Governor. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350/60 "2003-04-13T22:22:28Z")
> [@](#): > > **bodypoet** said: > And yes, I think that there is a societal effect…if you don’t believe being referred to as bitches has an effect on the self-esteem issues of young women, then you haven’t worked with the same ones I have. The real world is not a nice place in which a person’s feelings will always be catered to (although sometimes it seems to me that what feminists want is a world in which the sensitivities of women are played to so as not to wound their fragile egos) so hey, big deal if the word bitch is it out there. Sooner or later these young women are going to have to deal with adversity. I’d rather know how to than have been sheltered from it because nobody was ever allowed to call me a bad name. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-bitch-why-should-i-take-a-shower-we-are-not-having-sex/168350.md?page=4)