# Damn Dirty Apes Terrorize New Delhi! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 3, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109 "2003-11-03T05:48:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/1 "2003-11-03T05:48:43Z")
[Monkeys terrorize India workers, tourists](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20031102/ap_on_re_as/monkey_madness_2) > [@](#): > > But the officials who work there are fed up. They’ve been bitten, robbed and otherwise tormented by monkeys that ransack files, bring down power lines, screech at visitors and bang on office windows. > > The Supreme Court has stepped in, decreeing that New Delhi should be a monkey-free city after citizens filed a lawsuit demanding protection from the animals. And if monkeys aren’t scared of the LAWYERS, what’ll we do? But apparently gangs of monkeys are ransacking offices and terrorizing the streets after dark. > [@](#): > > Monkeys break into offices at night and paw through the files looking for food, he said. “Those who work late hours have to be careful when it is dark.” I, for one, welcome our new simian overlords. ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/2 "2003-11-03T05:59:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\* > > I, for one, welcome our new simian overlords. \*\* Yeah, but you get to impregnant us female humans to make more slaves. How fair is that, dude? Not very. I admit… I’d look very attractive and sexy in a leather collar but come on. I’m not having children in a cramped, dirty cage. Don’t even touch me. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/3 "2003-11-03T06:09:00Z")
Why aren’t the people in India just shooting the pesky monkeys?? Or place small bounty on them, to get people to take care of them. ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/4 "2003-11-03T06:32:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SanguineSpider \* > **I’d look very attractive and sexy in a leather collar** Cite? 😉 Oh, come on, SOMEBODY had to say it! ---
**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/5 "2003-11-03T07:07:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DreadCthulhu \* > \*\*Why aren’t the people in India just shooting the pesky monkeys?? Or place small bounty on them, to get people to take care of them. \*\* One doesn’t confess to shooting monkeys in India. [_Hanumana_](http://webonautics.com/mythology/hanuman.html) is a revered deity who just happens to be a monkey. He played a very important role in the epic [_Ramayana_](http://www.maxwell.syr.edu/maxpages/special/ramayana/story.htm). Offing monkeys would be impiety of a very high order. I can’t stand the critters myself, though. I’ve hated them ever since one slapped my bum years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/6 "2003-11-03T15:10:22Z")
Maybe they should stop keeping food in the file cabinets! ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/7 "2003-11-03T16:06:00Z")
Many years ago, while staying in Varnasi with the Mr, our room was broken into and ransacked, by monkeys. At first we just thought we’d been robbed, then we saw the camera, and walkman, and other items of value. But the room was a mess, garbage strewn everywhere, they got into our first aid kit but were mostly after the remnants of a juicy mango we’d consumed before going out, pit and skin all that was left though well wrapped and tied up in a plastic bag. It was quite funny when we all figured it out. They ate many birth control pills and charcoal tablets and Imodium. That could not have been pleasant for them I’m sure. Damned monkeys! ---
**Author:** ![sunfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@sunfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunfish)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/8 "2003-11-03T18:41:06Z")
There is a colony of [Rhesus macaques](http://www.szgdocent.org/pp/p-mcrhes.htm) that live in the woods just beyond the Delhi University Guest House on the north campus. I’d seen them in the garden out back but wasn’t prepared to walk out onto my balcony and come face-to-face with one early one morning. The monkey screeched, I screamed, and a bunch of people were briefly panicked about the state of my safety. After that the appeal of taking my morning chai on the balcony was lessened considerably. The macaques may be thieving little buggers but their bigger cousins, the [langurs](http://www.szgdocent.org/pp/p-langur.htm), can be just as bad. I once saw one snatch a garland of marigolds away from a little girl and then retreat to a fence post to munch on the flowers contently… ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/9 "2003-11-03T21:01:18Z")
Well, I’m sure _they_ consider _us_ a menace. A walking pestilence, even. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/10 "2003-11-03T22:30:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aasna \* > \*\*One doesn’t confess to shooting monkeys in India. [_Hanumana_](http://webonautics.com/mythology/hanuman.html) is a revered deity who just happens to be a monkey. He played a very important role in the epic [_Ramayana_](http://www.maxwell.syr.edu/maxpages/special/ramayana/story.htm). Offing monkeys would be impiety of a very high order. \*\* Religion. Gotta love it. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/11 "2003-11-04T00:08:03Z")
sanguinespider, i got a sudden flashback of that strange scene from planet of the apes, where the female trophy ape was doing the dance of the veil for her general. now i’m scared about the whole simian overlord thing. chez, first feline overlords, now simians… oy! ---
**Author:** ![Katie\_bar\_the\_door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/51bf81/32.png) [@Katie\_bar\_the\_door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katie_bar_the_door)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/12 "2003-11-04T00:53:49Z")
:eek: The simian overlords have just recalled all the chairs! (Seems they never use them.) ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/13 "2003-11-04T01:10:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elbows \* > \*\* > They ate many birth control pills \*\* I think we’ve stumbled across the answer we seek… ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/14 "2003-11-04T01:17:02Z")
ack! not the chairs!!! ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/15 "2003-11-04T01:45:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ponder Stibbons \* > \*\*Well, I’m sure _they_ consider _us_ a menace. A walking pestilence, even. \*\* I dunno, we build them nice buildings to play on and bring them food (according to the article). Wait, and we’re the smart ones? ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/16 "2003-11-04T03:33:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aasna \* > \*\*One doesn’t confess to shooting monkeys in India. [_Hanumana_](http://webonautics.com/mythology/hanuman.html) is a revered deity who just happens to be a monkey. He played a very important role in the epic [_Ramayana_](http://www.maxwell.syr.edu/maxpages/special/ramayana/story.htm). Offing monkeys would be impiety of a very high order. > \*\* Now, if they would just worship me, they wouldn’t be having all these problems- I encourage monkey killing. ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/17 "2003-11-04T05:30:55Z")
I don’t have a collar pic but… [http://www.msnusers.com/mypicture?user=4263~5AAAAAAAUG70vztZVUDhinLgup0pj5s2Y5n3Oa0WDOPAzOYZAhus!MOQ$$~5AAAAAAAVGxMVEUqDv029ogL6nHu4DDBt\*9xTbnTZQ6Ys$](http://www.msnusers.com/mypicture?user=4263~5AAAAAAAUG70vztZVUDhinLgup0pj5s2Y5n3Oa0WDOPAzOYZAhus!MOQ%24%24~5AAAAAAAVGxMVEUqDv029ogL6nHu4DDBt*9xTbnTZQ6Ys%24) ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/18 "2003-11-04T05:32:12Z")
Darn it all to hell and back!!! GRRRRR! Be patient. ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/19 "2003-11-04T05:40:43Z")
[http://www.angelfire.com/goth2/wicked\_wyne/images/heather1.jpg](http://www.angelfire.com/goth2/wicked_wyne/images/heather1.jpg) There… I think. ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109/20 "2003-11-04T05:42:34Z")
Hmm, I like the first attempt better, tee hee! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-apes-terrorize-new-delhi/211109.md?page=2)