# Damn Dirty April! (Monthly Mini-Rants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 1, 2024, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679 "2024-04-01T14:43:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/281 "2024-05-01T00:01:53Z")
Better do some more Googling if you can’t tell the difference between a dove and a seagull, mutt. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/282 "2024-05-01T00:11:49Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I guess it’s just me, but I would never use a word like “beautiful” in reference to a snake, I like the looks of most snakes, but not all of them are full-on beautiful. Some are. To me. > [@Atamasama](#): > > But I remembered asking her how I was supposed to even pay a bill of $0. I was once evaluated for a possible work-related injury. I got a form letter saying that I had been determined to have a 0% disability and that I could expect monthly checks for $0.00 to arrive, beginning within six weeks. I waited for those checks, but they never came. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/283 "2024-05-01T00:15:16Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I’m not a jerk We know it, dear heart. Just a little dog-centric. Speciesist! ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/284 "2024-05-01T00:29:27Z")
I thought it was a seagull, too. I think it’s the attitude. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/285 "2024-05-01T00:34:47Z")
“Mine!” “Mine!” “Mine!” “Mine!” “Mine!” ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/286 "2024-05-01T01:05:13Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > They actually have **four** extra legs Not to a dung beetle. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/287 "2024-05-01T01:07:09Z")
I really relate to feeling guilty after accidentally killing an animal. I feel terrible for killing the mice invading my apartment. I don’t really want them dead. I just want them to live somewhere else. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/288 "2024-05-01T01:10:02Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I don’t really want them dead. I just want them to live somewhere else. The traps only get put out if the pamphlets don’t work. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/289 "2024-05-01T01:35:41Z")
Here on the west coast of the US, seagulls are not typically all white. 🙂 The avatar really is a dove. It’s a headshot of my current pet bird, Misty. [![Imgur](https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50310302787_a6e61b66ef_b.jpg "20200905NewBird") ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/seanette/50310302787/) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/290 "2024-05-01T01:53:25Z")
Well, I can see it _now_. But they do have white heads: [Seagull Profile | Just in case there aren't enough of these … | Flickr](https://www.flickr.com/photos/residae/634785923/) ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/291 "2024-05-01T02:39:40Z")
That month went fast! Time is speeding up as we get older. May day! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/292 "2024-05-01T12:01:35Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > pay a bill of $0. I’m in a similar situation with Sam’s Club. I have my account set up to be paperless, so I don’t get a bill on the mail, but on my banking app I get monthly reminders about my overdue account. I owe $0. All that I buy from Sam’s are paper towels and toilet paper, both in the huge size. I’ve stopped at customer service and discussed the situation. They run my card and tell me everything is fine. Then I buy my stuff and if I choose to charge it to my account, it declines due to my overdue zero balance. Fück ‘em. I’ve tried. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/293 "2024-05-01T12:04:16Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > The avatar really is a dove. It’s a headshot of my current pet bird, Misty. A friend has a business that releases white doves at funerals. His loft contains many hundreds of doves. I’ve been there when he flies the birds for exercise and it’s breathtaking. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/294 "2024-05-01T12:40:50Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Husband ran over a snake that was crossing the road, a long pretty black one. I’ve seen many long black roads. I can’t think of any of them I’d call pretty though. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/295 "2024-05-01T13:56:44Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I’ve been there when he flies the birds for exercise and it’s breathtaking. I bet, just the idea that they can carry the weight of a human is astounding. ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/296 "2024-05-01T14:22:39Z")
weird garbled message deleted ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/297 "2024-05-01T14:36:55Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > just the idea that they can carry the weight of a human is astounding. If you knew my friend you’d be even more surprised. He’s a big dude. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/298 "2024-05-01T15:09:04Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > I’ve seen many long black roads. I can’t think of any of them I’d call pretty though. Skyline Drive in VA is very pretty. Parts of The Merit in CT are also. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/299 "2024-05-01T15:36:31Z")
Weight day in the exercise room; I’ll be achy tomorrow. Someone has decided that it was a good idea to have hymn music at the same time in the room next to the exercise room. I fucking hate hymn music. It’s worse than the Muzak they play in the lobby, and it’s someone banging on the piano, so it can’t be turned down or, better yet, off. My wah for the day. It’s also laundry day, which is always fun. Not. I think I may have found a home for my woodworking bench, which has been sitting unassembled in the daughter’s garage for going on two years now. The wife’s niece said her husband would likely love to have it, as he is always doing home projects. I really shouldn’t have caved in to the wife when we left Portland. I wanted to sell it, but she didn’t want me too because I had made it. So we shipped the heavy beast and woodworking vise clear across country, knowing we had no place to put it. 🙄 My daughter has been promising to clean out her garage all this time so it could be set up there, but she’s never been good at following through on such things. This would be a perfect solution. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679/300 "2024-05-01T15:48:34Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I pit lethargic bunny rabbits in my back yard. Huh. We have plenty of bunnies around, but they don’t take sunbaths in the middle of grassy spots. Too many hawks around in the day time, and too many coyotes at night. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-dirty-april-monthly-mini-rants/999679.md?page=16)