# Damn, I love quack medical devices! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 12, 2021, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556 "2021-09-12T16:40:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2021, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/1 "2021-09-12T16:40:50Z")
My current favorite is this Crystal Harmonizers for only $180. Some features: “Every one of our Laser Imprinted Crystal Generators is treated with the world’s most powerful, clean-energy **cold green laser** which embeds **4674** unique, beneficial frequencies into every unit…” “…also embeds specific anti-EMR radiation frequency patterns into each Laser Imprinted Crystal Generator so that the resulting Laser Imprinted Crystal Generator is not affected by destructive interference frequencies such as WIFI, cell phones, stray electronic interference and microwave ovens.” “these new models feature a stronger, upgraded saline solution…” “The new 2021 model also features a “Tachyonized” neodymium magnet…” “Our conductive, more powerful saline solution has been enhanced with an upgraded, proprietary blend of purified negative ORP water, …[blah, blah]” And so much more! > **[Crystal MULTI-MINERAL Generators Crystal Harmonizers (LABORATORY GRADE GLASS...](https://quantumbalancing.myshopify.com/products/crystal-generators-crystal-harmonizers-laboratory-grade-plastic-for-the-gb-4000-rife-machines-and-other-frequency-generators-new-enhanced-model-plus-free-usa-shipping)** > > These 2023 Laser Imprinted Crystal Generators (ours Exclusive!), sometimes known as Crystal Harmonizers, have been designed for use with the GB-4000 Frequency Generator, Rife Machines, and other Frequency Generators and Electrotherapy Devices. This... ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2021, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/2 "2021-09-12T17:32:01Z")
More sophisticated than a copper bracelet. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2021, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/3 "2021-09-12T18:06:11Z")
Does it work on dilithium crystals? And is it true what they say about a fool and his money? ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2021, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/4 "2021-09-12T18:08:07Z")
That’s the beauty of it. It doesn’t DO anything. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2021, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/5 "2021-09-12T20:02:10Z")
Those look suspiciously like turbo encabulator specs! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2021, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/6 "2021-09-12T22:04:51Z")
NOTE- I knew it didn’t do anything but it was a dollar at a yard sale and it looked REALLY cool. I used to have a solar panel pendant on a copper chain. I got rid of it when the chain finally broke and there was no way to fix it- the solar pane was in a piece of clear plastic with two holes for the chain. The chain broke off at the attachment point inside the clear plastic. Also, on my last visit to the NJ branch of the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not museum, they had a small segment on quack medical devices of the Victorian age. These included a ‘magnetic belt’ and a ‘violet ray’ machine. Tragically, a quick Google will turn up various companies still selling both devices. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2021, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/7 "2021-09-12T22:10:15Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Does it work on dilithium crystals? I was thinking, “The new 2021 model also features a “Tachyonized” neodymium magnet…” sounded right out of a _Star Trek_ episode – any of them – myself. Throw in Deflector Array and you’re golden. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2021, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/8 "2021-09-12T22:28:10Z")
Great minds think alike! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2021, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/9 "2021-09-12T23:03:35Z")
There’s a vendor at my local farmers market who sells crystal necklaces. I’d always thought the were just supposed to be pretty handmade jewelry, until one day I walked past the booth and overheard the vendor telling a customer about how the different kinds of crystals cure different ailments. 🤦‍♂️ ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2021, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/10 "2021-09-12T23:22:32Z")
That’s some weapons-grade balderdash! > Sound as a healing modality orchestrates the synergistic frequencies that balance organs, glands, and groups of cells bringing them into perfect attunement and coherence. Crystals, as natural piezo-electric oscillators, convert Frequency Generator frequencies into multiple sound signals that cause sympathetic blueprint resonance. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2021, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/11 "2021-09-13T01:10:20Z")
I gotta start selling interociters. Here’s one: [https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DwMX77iWsAE-QXb.jpg](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DwMX77iWsAE-QXb.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2021, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/12 "2021-09-13T01:19:47Z")
Scientology E-Meters are still in use today. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2021, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/13 "2021-09-13T02:00:48Z")
my aunt got into these "asian/chinese magnetic beaded bracelets " that was supposed to cure about 90 things being sold on wish/geek from a dollar on up I wore mine for a bit until; it lost it but to me, all they were was magnets on fishing line ---
**Author:** ![pipperroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@pipperroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipperroo)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2021, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/14 "2021-09-13T04:20:21Z")
I recently went to the Science Museum of Minnesota where they are currently displaying items from the closed Museum of Questionable Medical Devices. > **[Museum of Quackery and Medical Frauds](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/museum-quackery)** > > A museum within a museum, devoted to history's most questionable medical devices. All kinds of quackery including some still sold today. Not at the museum of course. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2021, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/15 "2021-09-13T08:55:39Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Sound as a healing modality orchestrates the synergistic frequencies that balance organs, glands, and groups of cells bringing them into perfect attunement and coherence. Is that a review by Manuel Noriega? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2021, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/16 "2021-09-13T13:08:47Z")
> [@mixdenny](#): > > “Every one of our Laser Imprinted Crystal Generators is treated with the world’s most powerful, clean-energy **cold green laser** which embeds **4674** unique, beneficial frequencies into every unit…” They can have my Cold Green Laser when they pry it from my Hot Dead Hand. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2021, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/17 "2021-09-13T13:46:04Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > More sophisticated than a copper bracelet. Seems like they’re putting copper in everything these days-- I’ve seen commercials for socks with “copper-infused fibers” (whatever that means) that are supposed to do something wonderful and therapeutic. I just walk around with a bunch of pennies in my pockets (the old-school pennies of course, not those fake newer pennies with copper plating and a zinc core). ---
**Author:** ![Retzbu\_Tox](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/retzbu_tox/32/11829_2.png) [@Retzbu\_Tox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Retzbu_Tox)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2021, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/18 "2021-09-13T14:33:09Z")
> [@solost](#): > > socks with “copper-infused fibers” If they claim copper fiber socks help reduce athlete’s foot or foot odor, I could see that. Doesn’t copper have real-world anti-fungal or anti-bacterial properties? Similarly, I could see a copper bracelet as potentially helping prevent ringworm on your wrist or something. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2021, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/19 "2021-09-13T15:12:18Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Crystals, as natural piezo-electric oscillators, convert Frequency Generator frequencies into multiple sound signals that cause sympathetic blueprint resonance. What’s your band’s name? “Sympathetic Blueprint Resonance” Why did you go with that? “Utter Bullshit” was taken. ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2021, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556/20 "2021-09-13T16:59:37Z")
May I recommend the town of Glastonbury (yes, that Glastonbury) to you good people, as a place to browse shops and stock up on healthcare products? [This sort of thing](http://www.naturalearthling.co.uk/), for example (Link to a website of 3 shops in the town). And that’s just a fraction of the rampant nutcasery on offer. More quack medical than you could shake a rainstick at. (We stayed there for a few nights because, well, on the face of it, it sounds like a pretty cool place to stay. Drove me nuts.) j [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-i-love-quack-medical-devices/950556.md?page=2)