# Damn Segway! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 4, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876 "2001-12-04T18:55:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/1 "2001-12-04T18:55:46Z")
Blasted inconsiderate Segway users! Damned if they don’t hit at least three people per city-block. Why don’t you need a license for those things? And then they’re so damned self-righteous about using them and preach to the rest of us careful walkers how the stupid thing is actually “Safer than walking.” Yeah, give it a few months, then the Segway injury-causing numbers will be about half those of walkers from the last **thousand years**! :mad: I just know that “Segway rage” is going to be blamed for a dozen drive-by shootings before the year is out. (Just wanted to be the first to get this particular rant in. Imagine! An original rant, all my own!) ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/2 "2001-12-04T19:03:25Z")
Has anyone else noticed that “Segway” sounds like a supermarket chain? ---
**Author:** ![MFS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@MFS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MFS)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/3 "2001-12-04T19:19:23Z")
safer than walking? so is encasing yourself in a crate to keep yourself from falling, but that does not make it desireable. the segway/ginger/IT has got to be the lamest watse to cool technology I’ve ever seen. but what the hell, I might as well run out and buy 12 of 'em, right? boost the economy… HA! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/4 "2001-12-04T19:24:35Z")
I drove by a Vespa dealer yesterday. I don’t know how much a Vespa costs, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re less than $3,000. Plus they go faster than the SHT. And they have a longer range. Which can be extended without recharging a battery. And they’re really cool-looking. Personally I think a Vespa (or Lambretta or one of the Japanese scooters) would be a better deal than the SHT. ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/5 "2001-12-04T20:11:48Z")
I don’t see those damn things catching on here in the Florida Panhandle. You can’t fit a gun rack or carry a lot of fishing gear in them, so basically they’re useless for about 90% of the general popualation here. Their 4WD or all-terrain capability is zero, yet another negative selling point over here for these motorized Dorkmobiles. We’ll see about moving their hit-point value above 'possums but below the ever-challenging racoon or wild cat if these stupid machines ever venture out on the highways here. ---
**Author:** ![Leap\_the\_net\_will\_appear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Leap\_the\_net\_will\_appear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leap_the_net_will_appear)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/6 "2001-12-04T20:23:35Z")
OK, I give. What’s a Segway? ---
**Author:** ![k.os](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@k.os](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k.os)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/7 "2001-12-04T20:26:52Z")
[Segway](http://www.segway.com/consumer/home_flash.html) **cmkeller** Interesting… Pre-emptive rant? You get high marks for originality on this one, for sure! ---
**Author:** ![Jet\_Black](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecc23a/32.png) [@Jet\_Black](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jet_Black)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/8 "2001-12-04T20:41:47Z")
I don’t see what’s wrong with it. It’s just another form of transportation. And it’s an early form of this type. In the future, they might have a design that integrates along your legs, much like a leg brace…but with wheels and an internal equilibrium. Embrace technology. We’ll all be dead soon, anyway. RE: the OP… Interesting pre-rant. I like it. Or, did you just get off your time traveling Segway from a distant future where everyone rides them? It must be a bitch just trying to walk to the gorcery store in your time. Jet Black ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/9 "2001-12-04T21:09:20Z")
This is our future. > [@](#): > > \*\* THE SEGTRAK IS FOR THE USE OF SEGS ONLY. PEDESTRIANS ARE PROHIBITED FROM USING THE SEGTRAKS FOR NON-SEG AMBULATION. THAT IS ALL.\*\* Or, this one might float across the lunch table… > [@](#): > > Man, I caught this tasty-looking B.O.S.\*\*\*\*\* this morning and wanted to key her UPC Code but damn, she was too quick for me. I’ll have to try to use the same SegTrak tomorrow and see if she scooby’s on by !!! Then, there’s the sub-culture issue: _Overheard as spoken by **Geobabe** _ (:D) > [@](#): > > Steve came on like a full-bore **SegHead** but the truth is that he just scams data off the 'Net and lays out a good line to ensnare **SegWenches** like me. _ **From the New England Journal of Medicine, August 2006 edition:** _ > [@](#): > > While further studies may yield a more complete picture there is at this juncture no doubt but that we as a body must regard the emergence of such syndromes as **SegApathy, SegPhomania, SegMoid Colon Dysfunction, SegMal Seizure and SegSzema** as a new page in the tragic interface of human beings and machines. \*\*" Tonight, on ESPN/4- LIIIIIVE from Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, the Second Annual SegAriot Races and Public Flaggellations !!! " \*\* \*\*\*\*\*\*\* Babe On Seg ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/10 "2001-12-04T21:15:14Z")
It rather amazes me that everyone rants about how lame the actual scooter is, but nobody acknowledges that the technology it’s based on is enormously cool, and probably a giant step forward. Can you not think of any other applications that might benefit from the technology to self-correct balance and automatically respond to the smallest movement of its controller? Balance has historically been one of the biggest bugaboos in robotics research, and the ability to interface the digital world to the analog world is extraordinarily important. ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/11 "2001-12-04T21:22:25Z")
not to mention, **bluepony** , it’s already designed for all-terrain capability. it supposed to be good for snow, sand, stairs, curbs, gravel, slightly rocky or loose terrain; get a big spare battery pack, and you are good to go. whoo! go SegWay! ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/12 "2001-12-04T21:28:01Z")
C’mon **Ogre** , this is the **Pit**. There are serious discussions in **GQ** and **GD**. Here we’re simply trying to get the (humorous) rants in early. (If I were to make a serious rant, I would note that they are talking about putting a silent machine going 12 mph on the same sidewalks with little old ladies and leashed poodles. I suspect that society has some issues to deal with before this thing takes off.) ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/13 "2001-12-04T21:34:22Z")
…heh…heh…_Segway Drive-Bys Kill Seven Poodles, Maim Several Old Ladies…film at eleven!!_ ---
**Author:** ![Jet\_Black](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecc23a/32.png) [@Jet\_Black](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jet_Black)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/14 "2001-12-04T21:37:16Z")
Yep, more technology to advance robots in our future. I’m all for it. Too bad I’ll be dead and gone before it’s commonplace. But then, I’ll be a grumpy old man…pissed I wasn’t born later in the century to enjoy the spoils of Northern American society. With my luck I’ll be reincarnated into a third world country that gets blanket bombed by the USA. The military would come in on armed-segs with heat seeking ammunition. My life sucks. Hey, so all that StarWars tech is really Segway?? I was wondering how SkyWalker’s hover craft stayed upright all the time. Hmmm…but StarWars was a “Long,long time ago…”. Yep, just as they say…“everything old is new again.” Jet Black ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/15 "2001-12-04T21:47:18Z")
How fast is it supposed to go? ---
**Author:** ![endswithani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@endswithani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/endswithani)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/16 "2001-12-04T21:47:59Z")
Any word on a “tangerine” or “dalmation” model? ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/17 "2001-12-04T22:00:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* > \*\*How fast is it supposed to go? \*\* About 12.5mph - Just fast enough to allow hordes of rampaging **SegMads** to wheel their chariots of death through the mall, sabering or running down shoppers at will. The SegCops will be in hot pursuit, but weighed-down by heavy loads of official paraphenalia and donuts, their poor Segs will be over-loaded and unable to keep-up. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/18 "2001-12-04T22:11:57Z")
(fair enough, tomndebb) What really annoys me are the after market mods for the damn things. I mean, how badly do you need 100,000 candlepower spotlights and a wing spoiler for it? Don’t get me started on the 120 db subwoofers all the kids are putting in them! And what’s up with the hydraulic kits and the 17" chrome rims? Who cares if you can “make the ass drop?” Don’t they know that interferes with the Segway’s auto-balance technology (and voids the warranty?) On the other hand, I went to this **MonsterSeg** rally the other night (we’ll turn the entire coliseum floor into a **GIANT MUD PIT-IT-IT** ) and I saw one guy jump seventeen old-fashioned minivans with a modified, firebreathing **Seg**. Impressive! ---
**Author:** ![Jet\_Black](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecc23a/32.png) [@Jet\_Black](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jet_Black)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/19 "2001-12-04T22:20:11Z")
I like it. I want one now. Of course, I’ll need triple-A Segway insurance. No telling when some thug might Seg-jack me for my new model. But I’m sure my **GPS** egway would locate it soon enough. Jet Black ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876/20 "2001-12-04T22:20:25Z")
Here’s what I don’t get: Isn’t this just what B.C. has been using for transportation lo all these years, minus the dorky handles? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-segway/96876.md?page=2)