# Damn you and your monkey butlers! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 29, 2000, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053 "2000-09-29T20:07:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/1 "2000-09-29T20:07:27Z")
A couple times on the SDMB I’ve seen refernces to monkey butlers. Today, during the annual Equal Opportunity and Affirmative Action training at work, I (of course) wasn’t paying attention and started filling out the review of the course before the instructor was finished. Without thinking, and feeling a little silly and generally cranky cuz I didn’t want to sit through this, under the item “What can be done to improve this course” I wrote in: “Dress some chimpanzees in little chimp-tuxedos, then train them to be butlers and serve cookies and soft drinks.” Then I suddenly realized I was writing this _with a pen_! There it was, in ink, un-erasable. Dammit. Good thing my 6 month review was last week, huh? ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/2 "2000-09-29T20:10:58Z")
_very funny!_ The good news is you’ll probably get a raise for coming up with that winning idea. The bad news is…you’ll probably be in charge of getting the little chimp-tuxedos on the little buggers. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sunglasses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5fc32e/32.png) [@Sunglasses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunglasses)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/3 "2000-09-29T20:11:11Z")
Oh Crunchy! Thanks for the best laugh I’ve had all day. ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/4 "2000-09-29T20:18:53Z")
Sonofagun!!! I ought to know better. I need to put a post-it note on my monitor that says, “Warning! Do not read any posts by Crunchy Frog while eating, unless there is another person in the room who can do the hiemlich maneuver!” :gasp:😃 ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/5 "2000-09-29T20:29:11Z")
**crunchy frog** just in case you weren’t aware, I believe “monkey butlers” were from a Simpson’s Episode. In which Bart and the rest of the kids form school get involved in a bus accident that strands them on a deserted island. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/6 "2000-09-29T21:02:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stuffinb \* > **crunchy frog just in case you weren’t aware, I believe “monkey butlers” were from a Simpson’s Episode** I remember now! Thanks stuffinb. It’s just that I associated it with the SDMB because that’s where I last remembered seeing someone talk about monkey butlers. ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/7 "2000-09-29T21:21:04Z")
You should have suggested a monkey knife fight to conclude the training course. Of course, you may have to schedule a trip into international waters to do so. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/8 "2000-09-29T22:40:16Z")
Damn, and here I was thinking everyone was referencing [this thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=37864) Oh, the shame. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/9 "2000-09-29T22:50:38Z")
Don’t worry Homer, **I** was thinking of you! _L_ ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/10 "2000-09-30T13:51:12Z")
Actually Homer, that’s the thread that put monkey butlers in my head to begin with. I couldn’t find it doing a search since I didn’t know what it was titled and a search for “monkey” didn’t work since you had spelled it “amomnkey” and “monek” in the OP. Thanks for the link 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/11 "2000-09-30T17:37:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\* a search for “monkey” didn’t work since you had spelled it “amomnkey” and “monek” in the OP. \*\* ROFLMAO!! Thats a classic thread… shame it got closed. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/12 "2000-09-30T17:55:23Z")
I just ran the OP through MS Word. "i wish i had amomnkey that dances to perat opera music and is a butler and wears a suti. he’ d be my monek ybutler suit dancer. " MS doesn’t know what the hell “amomnkey” is supposed to be and offered no suggestions. “perat” could be pert, periapt, pirate, peat, or pear “suti” could be suit, suite, suttee, suet, or suety “monek” came back as monk, Monaco, Monica, monkey, or money “ybutler” it got right and showed only one possiblitiy: butler So how many new sentences can we make up with these possibilites? **i wish i had a mom and key that dances to pirate opera music and is a butler and wears a suttee. he’ d be my monk butler suit dancer.** btw here’s the definition for _suttee_ is: the act or custom of a Hindu widow willingly being cremated on the funeral pyre of her husband as an indication of her devotion to him; also : a woman cremated in this way It was a tie between that and _suet_ for those who don’t know: the hard fat about the kidneys and loins in beef and mutton that yields tallow. So which is better? Wearing hard fat or a cremated Hindu widow? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/13 "2000-09-30T17:57:43Z")
Wearing hard fat… I do that every day _rim shot_ ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/14 "2000-09-30T18:04:04Z")
You guys, you guys, you KNOW that there are three things that deeply disturb me. I’m not proud - I’m especially ashamed of #2 because it officially makes me a bad person - but I can’t help that-can’t-look-but-can’t-look-away feeling. 1. Clowns 2. Midgets 3. Monkeys wearing clothes. Any animal wearing clothes, really. Yeah, so I’m not great company at the circus. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/15 "2000-09-30T18:08:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > **. . . there are three things that deeply disturb me. \ > 3. Monkeys wearing clothes. Any animal wearing clothes, really.** Not too bug you, but just cuz I’m curious – Would it disturb you that sometimes I put a little dog sweater on my dog CoCo cuz she’s old with short fur and gets cold during a St Louis winter? Or is it just when people dress animals up as little people cuz they think it’s cute? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/16 "2000-09-30T18:26:38Z")
(twitching uncontrollably) Brat, that’s quite a dilemma you’ve presented, and I’ll be completely honest with you. I’ll admit that old, frail dogs might NEED a wittle sweater-wetter in really cold weather. In a strict sense I still don’t _enjoy_ seeing it, but in cold weather I tend to give the benefit of the doubt. The dressing animals up because it’s cute thing is universally revolting. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/17 "2000-09-30T18:33:23Z")
“What’s Monica’s pet peeve?” “Animals wearing clothes!” –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/18 "2000-09-30T18:41:20Z")
…so what if a small monkey in a ballarina costume and tutu, being held on a leash by a midget in a clown outfit, was bearing its teeth and screetching and simultaniously trying to grab something out of your hands in a frantic manner and the midget clown was laughing and patting your knee with his pudgey little hands? What would you do then? How would you act? ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/19 "2000-09-30T18:57:02Z")
I was just thinking about that thread today, while I was updating my profile… funny why everyone has monkey butlers on their minds. _smootch for homer_ ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053/20 "2000-09-30T20:03:41Z")
Whammo, I would run for my life. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-and-your-monkey-butlers/35053.md?page=2)