# Damn you EWTN!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 2, 2005, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630 "2005-01-02T02:52:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/41 "2011-06-16T18:35:30Z")
> [@shamrock227](#): > > Ugh. I think I’m going to have nightmares just from your description. > > Thank Og they didn’t make us watch that in my school. I would have gone home requested to go to Public School and covert to ANY other religion _immediately_. Seconded! 12 years of Catholic school in the 60s and 70s and somehow I missed this classic! ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/42 "2011-06-16T19:25:32Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I have occasionally encountered EWTN while channel-surfing and I have never been able to account for its existence. There’s an **audience** for clips of elderly nuns praying?! Or priests celebrating Mass?! I can see how a Catholic would want to **do** all that, but who wants to **watch** it?! 😕 Devout but mostly-or-entirely home-bound (and yes, likely really old :D) Catholics may enjoy watching EWTN because they are not capable of going to church. Until she moved in with my parents a couple of years ago, my grandma would occasionally not be able to go to Sunday Mass (illness, arthritis pain, bad weather, etc.) and so she’d watch Sunday Mass on EWTN. Sure, it’s not an Official Mass Alternative that “really” counts the same, but she knows that. Even if it’s not Mass and is just recitation of the rosary or something, it’s still _some_ way to feel connected and and not quite so isolated. Much of Catholic worship really is done communally, with set rituals, call-and-response, etc. and you can’t recreate that when you’re all alone. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/43 "2011-06-16T19:27:48Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > Is the church’s position that it’s a good message because the little boy gets to go to heaven? Eh, hmm? Ah, yes, my son, that exactly, the point of the story. After the boy goes through all that suffering . . . all that horrible, terrifying suffering . . . such sweet suffering . . . he gets to . . . what was that again? ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/44 "2011-06-16T19:52:32Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Eh, hmm? Ah, yes, my son, that exactly, the point of the story. After the boy goes through all that suffering . . . all that horrible, terrifying suffering . . . such sweet suffering . . . he gets to . . . what was that again? I guess that was a dumb question. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/45 "2011-06-17T09:27:05Z")
Yes, I saw that movie in grade school. The Catholic Church really really loves suffering. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/46 "2011-06-17T16:22:01Z")
> [@Icerigger](#): > > Yes, I saw that movie in grade school. The Catholic Church really really loves suffering. Someone please remind me, again, why the Marquis de Sade was considered an impious person in his day? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/47 "2011-06-17T17:11:52Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’m more Pitting though the movie and the fact that some parochial schools STILL think this is appropriate for young kids. We got to watch _[The Mission](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mission_(1986_film))_, IIRC. Oh, and then \*The Sound of Music \*in eight grade, which was just _cruel_. > [@BrainGlutton](#): > > There’s an **audience** for clips of elderly nuns praying?! Or priests celebrating Mass?! Like \*\*zweisamkeit \*\*said, it’s for people who can’t get out of the house. On Sundays when my maternal grandparents can’t make it to Mass, they’ll stay in and watch it on the TV. Not as good as the real thing, but I guess the idea is that God knows that you tried. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/48 "2011-06-17T19:53:34Z")
> [@raz](#): > > Oh man! I remember reading the book “Marcelino pan y vino” in my High School spanish class. We all had a kind of “What the fuck?” reaction the more we read. I mean, come on, Jesus kills that little boy! I had to read this in high school Spanish as well. The ending really creeped me out too. The Christ figure tells Marcelino to sleep, and he does, only it’s the sleep of death. Then all the monks who witness it go “It’s a miracle!” I hadn’t realized there was a movie version, but I was a Lutheran kid, so we didn’t get that stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/49 "2011-06-17T20:08:19Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Then all the monks who witness it go “It’s a miracle!” Well, if the kid was a little shit… ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/50 "2011-06-17T21:40:36Z")
Bitten by a scorpion as a child, raised in a monastery…? Sounds like the origin story of a superhero named “Brother Stinger”. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/51 "2011-06-17T21:42:02Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > I had to read this in high school Spanish as well. The ending really creeped me out too. The Christ figure tells Marcelino to sleep, and he does, only it’s the sleep of death. Then all the monks who witness it go “It’s a miracle!” 😕 Is miracle status also afforded to crib death? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/52 "2011-06-18T03:33:11Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Bitten by a scorpion as a child, raised in a monastery…? > > Sounds like the origin story of a superhero named “Brother Stinger”. Sounds less like a superhero and more like a _luchador_. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/53 "2011-06-18T04:56:31Z")
This thread brought back memories of my own Catholic childhood. I remember this movie and the “Marcelino, pan y vino” song. Maybe this is why huge, bloody crucifixes creep me out to this very day. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/54 "2011-06-18T07:23:22Z")
> [@Lucky\_13](#): > > Maybe this is why huge, bloody crucifixes creep me out to this very day. 😕 What are you, from fuckin’ Mars?! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/55 "2011-06-18T16:23:43Z")
> [@Lucky\_13](#): > > This thread brought back memories of my own Catholic childhood. I remember this movie and the “Marcelino, pan y vino” song. Maybe this is why huge, bloody crucifixes creep me out to this very day. If they had actually used an actor to portray Christ, it wouldn’t have been as creepy. It was the puppet crucifix that freaked me out. I mean, you wouldn’t have seen His face and all, but it would have looked at least like a real Jesus, not some freaky puppet. I think the reason it was a “miracle” is that Marcelino wanted to meet his parents, who died when he was a baby, or something like that? ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/56 "2011-06-18T21:47:37Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > 😕 What are you, from fuckin’ Mars?! Most likely from southern Europe or Latin America. [http://www.sacred-destinations.com/italy/assisi-san-damiano-pictures/slides/xti\_1156.htm](http://www.sacred-destinations.com/italy/assisi-san-damiano-pictures/slides/xti_1156.htm) You are warned, images like that are the direct inspiration that Mel Gibson got for the images in “The Passion of the Christ” ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/57 "2011-06-19T02:01:25Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > If they had actually used an actor to portray Christ, it wouldn’t have been as creepy. It was the puppet crucifix that freaked me out. I mean, you wouldn’t have seen His face and all, but it would have looked at least like a real Jesus, not some freaky puppet. See [Uncanny Valley.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UncannyValley) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/58 "2011-06-20T17:30:19Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Like \*\*zweisamkeit \*\*said, it’s for people who can’t get out of the house. On Sundays when my maternal grandparents can’t make it to Mass, they’ll stay in and watch it on the TV. Not as good as the real thing, but I guess the idea is that God knows that you tried. My father watches it sometime when they have “Joy of Music” on, or something like that. (They sometimes do PBS type orchestra specials, if it’s religious pieces, like Handel’s _Messiah_) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/59 "2011-06-20T17:44:25Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > My father watches it sometime when they have “Joy of Music” on, or something like that. (They sometimes do PBS type orchestra specials, if it’s religious pieces, like Handel’s _Messiah_) “The one good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.” – George Carlin ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630/60 "2011-06-20T19:12:16Z")
All I gathered from the OP is that Guinastasia is still a hilariously broken individual. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-ewtn/282630.md?page=4)