# Damn you, HGTV! Damn you, Norm! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 9, 2002, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-hgtv-damn-you-norm/127633 "2002-09-09T11:48:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-hgtv-damn-you-norm/127633/21 "2002-09-10T17:48:54Z")
**FairyChatMom** you continually amaze me. [sub]must resist old broad crack[/sub] Wanna come help me build the cabana house I envision going up by the pool I don’t have yet?😃 I’m real good at standing around and handing the tools, after you explain and point out to me just exactly what the tool you’re asking for looks like. I’ll make iced tea and lemon squares. I painted the interior of my house, the exterior doors and for reasons I have yet to figure out, the garage, last year (very chic garage it is btw, gray with burgundy trim). One Saturday (out of the many, many, many Saturdays) after I had finished for the day, a friend dropped by, looked at me and said, “I see you decided to paint yourself instead of your living room.” I renamed him asshat that day. I did, however, install a hardwood floor in my study all by myself two years ago. It looks real good and only took me three evenings the week I did it. Three evenings after working all day. I was so proud. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-hgtv-damn-you-norm/127633/22 "2002-09-10T20:29:54Z")
**swampbear** , don’t you know by now that I’m a continually amazing woman? Haven’t you been paying attention? You should be further impressed to learn that a few years back, I helped a coworker build a 4-car garage in his back yard. Somewhere amongst my junk, there’s a photo of me in a tool belt pounding nails with the best of them. In fact, I was better than the best of them since I was there more than anyone else. As it happened, I didn’t have a life for a few months there. However, regarding your cabana, _IF_ you had paid attention to me as you should, you’d know that tea and lemon squares aren’t the correct bribe. Get back to me when you unearth some fine chocolates. Secondly, I’m not sure how my husband would feel about me building a cabana for a strange man, and you are one strange man… 😃 Third – after all the abuse you’ve heaped upon me, you think I’ll just trot over there and do your bidding? I think not. You can build your own cabana. so nyah! ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-hgtv-damn-you-norm/127633/23 "2002-09-10T23:12:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lynn Bodoni \* > \*\* Don’t even get me STARTED on cooking shows. I want to know who washes those kajillion little dishes? Hmmm? \*\* To be fair, Alton Brown’s show, _Good Eats_, is pretty good in that regard. He is VERY good about explaining recipes in detail, and going over the basics, including _why_ something needs to be done a certain way or in a certain order. He also tells you which kitchen gadgets you really need and which ones you don’t. There used to be a show on PBS, _Cooking With Caprial_, that was kinda the _New Yankee Workshop_ of the cooking shows. Caprial was a young, hip woman who made the cooking look insanely easy, but she glossed over details and never went over basics. I could NEVER make anything she made. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-hgtv-damn-you-norm/127633/24 "2002-09-11T13:41:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > **LurkMeister** , most of the basement in our future house will be a workshop and a paint booth. The plan is to have the basement closed in so we can lock our tools in there while we finish the rest of the house. um, yeah, we’re hoping to do much of the building ourselves. > > The other part of the plan is to acquire good tools over the next couple of years so we can get into the Norm-mode. Between building the house and doing work on our boat, we will make good use of our tools. I doubt that we’ll get all the fancy, specialized toys, since we don’t intend to build furniture or cabinets. But good basic tools will be worth the expense, if only to prevent the frustration of a cockeyed rip fence!! Part of my plan included closing off part of the basement (which is essentially one big room) so I could work without getting sawdust all over everything. I was seriously looking at getting a ShopMaster (one of those all-in-one tool units) to save space. > [@](#): > > Oh, and I do just about all the painting. My husband is good with wood and fiberglass and metal (he was a toolmaker and a welder in his younger days) but he’s a disaster when he has a paintbrush in his hand. Luckily, he recognizes that. He does the lifting and lugging and ladder-moving, and I roll and edge. Wallpaper is another tale entirely, but we manage to work that out too. If I offer you a big box of chocolates, would you come over and help me paint the kitchen and front room? Another project I’ve been putting off… > [@](#): > > Of course, if I could pick the right lotto numbers, none of this would be an issue. In the grand scheme of things, the best tool for any job is a checkbook. Yeah, I just paid $4500.00 to have our two-car garage re-roofed and re-sided. What had been some minor damage that I kept putting off repairing suddenly exploded into major deterioration this spring; I thought at one point I was going to have to have the whole thing torn down and rebuilt, but fortunately there was no structural damage. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-hgtv-damn-you-norm/127633/25 "2002-09-11T14:06:54Z")
hmmmm… **FairyChatMom** in a tool belt. Wonder if she was showing serious butt crack? 😃 BTW, with me being gay and all, hubby has nothing to worry about. The worst thing I’d try is to restyle your hair or give you a make over. How bout if I make tollhouse cookies and lemonade? See, If I actually get the cabana house built, I’d then be motivated to put in the pool cause I’d have to then. A cabana house without a pool is just a wierd little building in the back yard, which would mess up the whole feng shui thing in the yard and I can’t have that. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-hgtv-damn-you-norm/127633/26 "2002-09-11T14:13:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LurkMeister \* > \*\*If I offer you a big box of chocolates, would you come over and help me paint the kitchen and front room? Another project I’ve been putting off… > \*\* If you lived a bit closer, I’d be happy to lend you a hand. Then again, my kitchen, family room, hall, and laundry room are on the “to be painted” list - once it gets cool enough to open the house. I’m thinking late October. My project for this weekend - putting a 2X4 under the sliding patio door. When the idiot builders trimmed out the back door, they somehow missed the piece that belonged under the track. And we missed it on the walk-thru (who’da thunk to look for such a thing?? I’ve got a pressure-treated hunk o’wood in the van just begging to be measured, cut (with a circular saw this time), and hammered into place. Then I need to move 5 shrubs out of the back yard before the doggies kill them from digging out their roots. Ah, the joys of being a homeowner! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-hgtv-damn-you-norm/127633/27 "2002-09-11T14:38:45Z")
**swampbear** , your being gay has nothing to do with anything - your being _strange_ is the issue. 😃 But tollhouse cookies make a mighty tempting bribe. Replace the lemonade with cold milk and we can talk. Butt crack? Moi?? Perish the thought! ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2002, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-hgtv-damn-you-norm/127633/28 "2002-09-12T11:52:38Z")
Don’t remember where I first heard this, but it’s one of the Great Truths of the Universe: Buying a house ensures that you will always have something that needs to be done. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-hgtv-damn-you-norm/127633.md?page=1)