# Damn you J. Geils! Damn you to HELL! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 25, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420 "2001-05-25T00:37:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/1 "2001-05-25T00:37:14Z")
In order to start off on a confusing note, I’ll say that I like the J. Geils Band. I really do. And now for clarification: I like the J. Geils Band, blues-rock group who, in the year 1972 but out a live album entitled “Full House,” which is currently one of my favorite albums (I just discovered it in a pile of old records). It’s a lot of fun to listen to, and features the quasi-insane Peter Wolf on vocals, and the completely whacked-out Magic Dick on harmonica. I do NOT like J. Geils, the little shit-monger who just _happened_ to play guitar for the band. Somehow, this little felchmonkey got the band named after him. THEN, after the band broke up, our dear friend went off and became a teeny-bopper idol, putting out glurge like “Centerfold” and “Freeze-Frame”. Even worse, he did it while using the SAME FUCKING NAME as the band that actually made GOOD MUSIC. Now, whenever I talk about bands that I like, and say “J. Geils is good,” all I get is “Oh YEAH! CENTERFOLD! You like that song? I didn’t.” Or, even worse, “CENTERFOLD?! I LOVE THAT SONG!!” By not having the decency to change his name when he went crappy, J. Geils has, in essence, ruined the memory of the _good_ music. In fact, he’s done more than ruin it. He and his teeny-bopper hoarde have burnt the memory to the ground, pissed on its ashes, killed its women and raped its farm animals with their filthy, assembly-line spawned paws. The little squicker could have at least changed his goddamn name, so that he wouldn’t drag Magic Dick down with him. Fuckpocket. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/2 "2001-05-25T00:41:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Does she walk? > Does she talk? > Does she come complete? > My homeroom homeroom angel always pulled me from my seat > She was pure like snowflakes, no one could ever stain > The memory of my angel could never cause me pain > Years go by, I’m looking through a girlie magazine > And there’s my homeroom angel on the pages in between 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/3 "2001-05-25T00:44:15Z")
Fuckpocket? Jester, sweetie, you can’t make a rant…You couldn’t if your life depended on it. It says you’re a sweet guy in your sig line. 🙂 Sorry, but every time I read one of your rants, i end up in giggles. You’re like coffee. You always perk up my day. Stick with stupid-bird killing threads, alright? ::walks off into the distance humming Centerfold:: ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/4 "2001-05-25T00:45:31Z")
You are SO going down, **andros**. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday… Someday… They say that revenge is a dish best served…ahhhhhhhhhhh, screw it \ Pheh. Not even good as a bludgeon. Still, better than listening to it… ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/5 "2001-05-25T00:51:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > It’s a lot of fun to listen to, and features the quasi-insane Peter Wolf on vocals, and the completely whacked-out Magic Dick on harmonica. > > \*\* Uhhh…Jester…Magic Dick stayed with the band the whole time and the “insane Peter Wolf” did the vocals and co wrote “Centerfold”…get your facts straight before you rant… 😉 Keith ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/6 "2001-05-25T00:53:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Odieman \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > > It’s a lot of fun to listen to, and features the quasi-insane Peter Wolf on vocals, and the completely whacked-out Magic Dick on harmonica. > > > > \*\* > > Uhhh…Jester…Magic Dick stayed with the band the whole time and the “insane Peter Wolf” did the vocals and co wrote “Centerfold”…get your facts straight before you rant… 😉 > > Keith \*\* Well, in that case, I hate the whole lot of em. Better? “I don’t believe in NUTHIN’ no more! NUTHIN’!” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/7 "2001-05-25T00:54:00Z")
Anyway if we’re going to go back on topic, let’s dissect the song “Centerfold.” It always **pissed** me off, that guy in the song- what a **bastard**. Seriously. He’s got this pure innocent image of this girl who he thinks shouldn’t be posing in dirty magazines. Sure, its alright for HIM to be looking througoh mags but not for her to be posing? **Fucking** double standard! **Asshole!** What kind of Victorian **shit** is that? The song came out in the 1980’s, not the 1880’s! That’s how ya do it. ---
**Author:** ![waxteeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@waxteeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waxteeth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/8 "2001-05-25T01:05:23Z")
Musta got lost I got lost Somewhere Somewhere down the line. OR I’ve had the blues The reds and the pinks All I can say is Love stinks. OR Raputa Raputa the buta… Thanks Jester I haven’t thought about J Giles / Peter Wolf in a long while. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/9 "2001-05-25T01:22:51Z")
Yep, **Odieman** is on the money. I believe that from founding up until its dissolution the J.Geils Band ( originally the J.Geils Memorial Blues Band ) always had the exact same membership. Peter Wolf and Seth Justin ( Jordan? ) the keyboard player just tended to dominate it more as time went on and the band evolved into a pop-rock outfit ( but still with bluesy roots ). I agree Full House (which was almost all cover tunes ) probably remains their definitive statement. It’s a very fun album. But actually all of their live stuff was solid ( even the post-Centerfold one ). They always continued to do old standards right up 'til the end. In fact the only albums of theirs I’ve kept fropm my youth is the three live albums, which I still occasionally dust off ( actually I even replaced my scratchy Full House with a CD ). - Tamerlane ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/10 "2001-05-25T01:48:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoggie \* > \*\*Anyway if we’re going to go back on topic, let’s dissect the song “Centerfold.” > > It always **pissed** me off, that guy in the song- what a **bastard**. Seriously. He’s got this pure innocent image of this girl who he thinks shouldn’t be posing in dirty magazines. \ What kind of Victorian **shit** is that? \*\* **Zoggie** , darling here’s the lyrics to [Centerfold](http://www.tripletsrus.com/80s/lyrics/geils-centerfold.txt). I don’t get the impression that he disapproves of her posing in the magazine, it’s just that it is a jolt to him contradictory of his memory of her. Here’s a couple verses at the end of the song: > [@](#): > > It’s okay I understand > This ain’t no never-never land > I hope that when this issue’s gone > I’ll see you when your clothes are on > > Take your car, Yes we will > We’ll take your car and drive it > We’ll take it to a motel room > And take 'em off in private Seems like he’s ok with it to me. The problem is that he thought of her as _his_ angel, and now here she is for anyone to see. As for the OP: **Jester** , I like ya and all but really. Not every band churns out good stuff all the time. Even the Beatles and the Stones released crap now and then. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/11 "2001-05-25T02:16:43Z")
Don’t forget to say… [bold]No anchovies please[/bold] This is the story of a young couple in Portland, Maine. While waiting for her husband Don to return home from work, she reaches for a can of anchovies. As she spreads the tiny fish across a piece of lettuce, she notices a small note at the bottom of the can. Written on it is a telephone number. Curious, she dials, and is told, “Don’t move, lady, we’ll be right over.” Placing the phone back on the hook, she turns to see three smartly dressed men standing in her kitchen doorway. Before she realizes what is happening to her, she is rolled tightly in long sheets of cellophane, transported to an international airport, and placed on a waiting jet-liner. All this being too much for her to comprehend, she passes out. Upon awakening, she finds herself in a strange, foreign speaking nation (“Dalas nekcihc dna tihs nekcihc neewteb ecnereffid eht wonk ot suineg a ekat t’nseod ti.”). Alone, fearing her escape impossible, she seeks comfort in the arms of a confidential agent. With the trace of her kiss still warm upon his lips, he betrays her to the hands of three scientists who are engaged in diabolical, avant-garde experiments previously performed only on insects and other small, meaningless creatures. Using her as their subject, they are delighted with the results. For the first time, a human being is transformed into a (“shhh… it’s secret”). Meanwhile, back in Portland, Maine… Her husband Don, now chain-smoking 40 packs of cigarettes a day, sits at a local bar and has a few beers with the regulars. Bored, everyone’s attention turns to the television set that just hangs from the wall. (“Welcome to Bowling for Dollars”). Suddenly, crazy Al says, “S-say, Don, there sure is something familiar about that bowling ball.” To which a terrified Don replies, “Oh my God! That bowling ball! It’s my wife!” And the lesson we learn from this story is, next time you place your order, don’t forget to say, “No anchovies please.” ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/12 "2001-05-25T02:23:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\* …the Stones released crap now and then. > \*\* Now much more than then. ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/13 "2001-05-25T21:00:38Z")
Seth Justman. Mmm. I had the biggest crush on him. Okay. Here’s the deal with The J. Geils Band (the “J” stands for “Jerome” - doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, does it?): The first one to leave the band, actually, was Peter Wolf. He left not long after “Freeze Frame” (my guess is that he didn’t care for the musical direction Seth Justman was steering them in). J. Geils was there until the bitter end, but didn’t really have much influence over the direction of the band: most of the songwriting was done by Wolf and Justman. After Wolf departed, Justman took over both the vocals and the bulk of the songwriting, giving it much more of an “80s” sound - his specialty, of course, being keyboards. Their only album without Wolf was the one I actually liked the best (and would dearly like to locate on CD): “You’re Gettin’ Even While I’m Gettin’ Odd” - featuring the song “Concealed Weapons.” They also did the theme song for the vampire movie “Fright Night” during this period, before finally fizzling out. I noticed on CDNow a while ago that J. Geils has some new stuff out, but I’ve been afraid to look into it. ---
**Author:** ![City\_Gent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a87d85/32.png) [@City\_Gent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/City_Gent)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/14 "2001-05-25T23:17:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoggie \* > \*\*Anyway if we’re going to go back on topic, let’s dissect the song “Centerfold.” > > It always **pissed** me off, that guy in the song- what a **bastard**. Seriously. He’s got this pure innocent image of this girl who he thinks shouldn’t be posing in dirty magazines. \ What kind of Victorian **shit** is that? \*\* Nah, that’s not what he means at all. Near the end he sings something like “aww, I can’t deny it, oh yeah, I guess I’m gonna buy it”, which I interpret as his poking fun at his own moralism ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/15 "2001-05-26T00:34:25Z")
**Crunchy** sez: > [@](#): > > As for the OP: Jester, I like ya and all but really. Not every band churns out good stuff all the time. Even the Beatles and the Stones released crap now and then. Thanks, man, like you too. And I’m fully aware that bands make crappy music. Alas, it seems to be a fact of life. My major problem is that the teeny-bopper turn that the J. Geils Band took tends to overshadow their older, gooder stuff. (And yes, I said “gooder.” You know it’s serious when I make up words). Nobody (that I talk to about music) knows that the J. Geils Band used to be good. Instead, I mention the band, and they scoff, I say, _scoff_! It’s just a wee bit depressing. Anyhoo, that’s my thought about that. I must now take the time to ask if **Reeder** forgot which button was the “new thread” one and which was the “submit reply” one, or if there was a really, REALLY cleverly disguised point about music buried somewhere in there. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/16 "2001-05-26T00:42:19Z")
Reeder was quoting from “No Anchovies” off of the “Love Stinks” album…and I like the later J. Geils stuff…if you ignore “Centrefold” you will find “Freeze Frame” and “Angel in Blue” on the same album (Freeze Frame) are stone classics… Keith ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/17 "2001-05-26T00:44:41Z")
Wow. Methinks that I should look into “No Anchovies.” It seems like quite the interesting song… ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/18 "2001-05-26T03:21:46Z")
Jester, dear boy, calm down. Tell me why J. Geils should change his name? It’s HIS name, dear. However, he lost the right to use the name “J. Geils Band.” Some wonky music business thing, that my musician husband explained to me while we were on the way to see B.B. King in concert (with openers Robert Cray, Jimmie Vaughn, and…J. Geils and Magic Dick). J. Geils never went crappy. The J. Geils Band, on the other hand…well, they left something to be desired. Oh, and to the rest of you early J. Geils fans, I can only say this…“Whammer Jammer.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/19 "2001-05-26T03:29:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*Oh, and to the rest of you early J. Geils fans, I can only say this…“Whammer Jammer.” 😃 \*\* Persephone, you read my mind. As an admittadly bad harmonica player, Whammer Jammer done by Magic Dick shows me just what I’ll never be able to do. When I first got the album, I just sat there, listening to the song over and over. I think the next two best songs on the album, though, are “Homework” and “First I Look at the Purse,” respectively. God, that’s a great record. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420/20 "2001-05-26T14:12:30Z")
Jester… No Anchovies is not a “song” per se…It’s spoken. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-j-geils-damn-you-to-hell/66420.md?page=2)