# Damn you Mike Nichols! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 8, 2004, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614 "2004-11-08T08:45:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/1 "2004-11-08T08:45:51Z")
> [@IMDb News](#): > > Nichols Removes Portman’s Nude Scenes > Actress Natalie Portman ordered director Mike Nichols to remove her full frontal nude scenes from her latest movie Closer - despite playing a stripper in the film. Nichols is very protective of the 23-year-old beauty and agreed the topless footage was acceptable, but decided raunchy shots of her fully nude were gratuitous and should be deleted from the drama. Portman explains, “He wants to see my bare ass much less than (even) my father would. He’s as or more protective of me than my parents are. So doing sexual, physical stuff for him felt very uncomfortable.” Dammit! Doesn’t he realize how important it is that we see Natalie Portman fully naked? ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/2 "2004-11-08T09:51:09Z")
Now I’m creeped out thinking that Natalie Portman’s father wants to see her bare ass. Poor choice of words, there, Natalie. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/3 "2004-11-08T10:00:04Z")
Wow, that News blurb is very poorly worded. “Actress Natalie Portman ordered director Mike Nichols” sounds like there was a battle over it. “Nichols is very protective of the 23-year-old” sounds like it was a mutual decision. “. . . decided raunchy shots of her fully nude were gratuitous and should be deleted” sounds like it was the Director’s choice (Nichols). My guess is that from the very beginning of the project they agreed that the shots would be filmed then, when it came time to put the final cut of film together, they would decide together, with certain weight given to Portman’s feelings on the matter, whether or not the footage best served the film. There was probably very little conflict over this. I think the only aspect that makes this newsworthy is that people are very likely to click on a story that has a headline suggesting “Natalie Portman Nude!” I don’t feel particularly inclined to damn Mike Nichols over this. This movie looks like it’s going to be incredible. I can’t wait to see it- A naked Natalie Portman was never among the top influences on my enthusiasm for this film. It’s got so much else going for it. Also, I just can’t say I’m all that interested in seeing Natalie Portman naked. Although she is now 23 yrs old her body is still very adolescent looking. I just don’t get aroused by a body that isn’t physically mature. (I’m just 29- I don’t think it’s particularly creepy for a 29 yr old to want to get naked with a 23 yr old, but Portman- as an individual- just happens to have a very adolescent _looking_ body.) I do think she’s very beautiful, but in a non-sexual kinda way. ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/4 "2004-11-09T21:04:04Z")
Count me among those who think Nichols deserves damning over this. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/5 "2004-11-09T21:13:42Z")
Sorry, but I damned Nichols years ago so you don’t need to worry about it. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/6 "2004-11-09T21:16:20Z")
If it helps, in May you’ll be able to see Portman make an ass of herself in _Revenge of the Sith_. ---
**Author:** ![Kel\_Varnsen\_Latex\_Division](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@Kel\_Varnsen\_Latex\_Division](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kel_Varnsen_Latex_Division)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/7 "2004-11-09T21:22:20Z")
[crosses fingers] Extra feature on the DVD. Extra feature on the DVD. Extra feature on the DVD. Extra feature on the DVD. Extra feature on the DVD.[/crosses fingers] ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/8 "2004-11-09T23:21:07Z")
So… Ilsa. You like older women, huh? It feels kinda strange writing that, being twenty years her senior. And I can emphatically say, I have no desire to see her nekkid. She’s just a child, fer chrissake. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/9 "2004-11-09T23:58:16Z")
Of course, this IS the internet, after all. I’m sure the shots will show up somewhere. Mr. Skin would be the most likely. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/10 "2004-11-10T03:58:41Z")
Nichols can make up for it by replacing the scenes with some of Clive Owen naked. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/11 "2004-11-10T04:03:47Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > Nichols can make up for it by replacing the scenes with some of Clive Owen naked. Ahh, but what if HIS dad doesn’t want to see HIS bare ass… ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/12 "2004-11-10T04:09:51Z")
> [@Laughing Lagomorph](#): > > Ahh, but what if HIS dad doesn’t want to see HIS bare ass… Apparently it’s not as much of an issue, since I just read on a fansite that Owen has already appeared naked in a couple of movies. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to visit Netflix… ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/13 "2004-11-10T15:58:05Z")
I’m much more interested in Portman boobs anyway. 😉 –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/14 "2004-11-10T16:47:36Z")
Lemme see now…Portman accepted a film role as a stripper, and she was shocked that she might have to be nude in the film? :smack: :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/15 "2004-11-10T17:08:57Z")
> [@Cliffy](#): > > I’m much more interested in Portman boobs anyway. 😉 > > –Cliffy My thoughts exactly! It’s easy enough to fill in the blanks for the downbelow features. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/16 "2004-11-10T18:20:52Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > Nichols can make up for it by replacing the scenes with some of Clive Owen naked. Y’know, I read this as “Nichols can make up for it by replacing the scenes with some of Clive **Anderson** naked.” originally. Now that’d be something. 🙂 Sheesh. Think I just went blind picturing that. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/17 "2004-11-10T18:23:26Z")
> [@Fiver](#): > > My thoughts exactly! It’s easy enough to fill in the blanks for the downbelow features. Yeah, but there _are_ pictures of those. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/18 "2004-11-10T18:24:38Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > Lemme see now…Portman accepted a film role as a stripper, and she was shocked that she might have to be nude in the film? :smack: :rolleyes: What portion of the interview indicates she was shocked or surprised in any way? ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-mike-nichols/273614/19 "2004-11-10T18:26:28Z")
> [@slortar](#): > > Y’know, I read this as “Nichols can make up for it by replacing the scenes with some of Clive **Anderson** naked.” originally. Now that’d be something. 🙂 > > Sheesh. Think I just went blind picturing that. Slortar, you just made my day and nauseated me. Good job! 😃