# Damn you William Shatner! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2001, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957 "2001-05-20T01:29:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2001, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957/21 "2001-05-20T16:20:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CnoteChris \* > \*\*“911. State your emergency” > > “My. Wife… Shesinthepool… She’s. In. The. Pool.” > > “Hello? Sir?” > > “Thepool. She’s. In. The. Pool…” > > \*\* Oooh. That was just plain mean. Kinda funny, but mean. ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2001, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957/22 "2001-05-20T17:06:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bernse \* > \*\*Kinda funny, but mean. \*\* _Barely_ funny, actually. It would have been far funnier had it come off the way I had intended it to. That is, maybe the ambulance could have made it in time had William been able to speak like a normal person does. Get it? Tee Hee! Hey! Where 'ya going? ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2001, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957/23 "2001-05-20T18:01:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Katisha \* > \*\* > MarxBoy, my personal Nimoy favorite is “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.” It’s pure pain, but very funny pain. \*\* Oh yes, they played that, and that was the one that had me and my friend sitting on the floor leaning against the racks laughing incredibly hard. And it’s Waterloo records, which means they always play the most obscure and bizarre stuff they can find. Nimoy wasn’t even exceptionally wierd for them, but it was amazingly funny. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957/24 "2001-05-22T15:32:32Z")
I hope one day someone will remove Shatner’s stupid rug on live TV. Ditto for Burt Reynolds. Not that we need to see how they look without 'em, but their egos do need to be brought down those few notches. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957/25 "2001-05-22T16:04:26Z")
ACK!! It says that Iron Chef has been canceled in Japan! No new Iron Chefs?!?! ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957/26 "2001-05-22T16:08:41Z")
An American Iron chef is a bad idea, and just because of Shatner. The key to the show’s success is that it’s a \* Japanese\* show. The exotic location, the unfamiliar ingredients, not to mention Chairman Kaga’s outfits make Iron Chef the odd little sensation it has become. An American version won’t be nearly as entertaining. And UPN will never find an American actress who can giggle as brainlessly as the Japanese ingenues on the panel. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957/27 "2001-05-22T16:24:39Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by goboy_ > **UPN will never find an American actress who can giggle as brainlessly as the Japanese ingenues on the panel.** Can’t they just get whoever provides the giggling for the dubbed audio? ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957/28 "2001-05-22T18:31:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeff Olsen \* > \*\*I hope one day someone will remove Shatner’s stupid rug on live TV. Ditto for Burt Reynolds. Not that we need to see how they look without 'em, but their egos do need to be brought down those few notches. \*\* Anybody else remember the Night Court episode where Bull got the toupee? It was called the “Shatner Turbo 2000.” Probably one of my favorite episodes. And, IMHO, you haven’t lived until you’ve heard Shatner’s cover of “Mr. Tamborine Man.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957/29 "2001-05-22T19:35:45Z")
How much ya wanna bet that the theme ingredient will be something brand-name? Like “Tyson Chicken” or “Heinz Ketchup” with the emphasis on the brand? Ya know they’re going to do it. No way would they be happy with something so dull, so unimaginative as non-brand named fresh salmon or super duper high quality beef? Not to mention that they’ll stay away from most high-end foods, like Foie Gras or Truffles, simply because 9/10ths fo the viewing audience won’t know what they are. \ I knew it was going to happen… just not so soon… ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957/30 "2001-05-22T20:19:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CnoteChris \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by bernse \* > > \*\*Kinda funny, but mean. \*\* > > _Barely_ funny, actually. It would have been far funnier had it come off the way I had intended it to. That is, maybe the ambulance could have made it in time had William been able to speak like a normal person does. > > Get it? > > Tee Hee! > > Hey! Where 'ya going? \*\* I got it. I thought it was horribly cruel, but I almost spit out a lung laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957/31 "2001-05-22T22:39:26Z")
He’s no chairman Kaga, although I would love to see him attempt the classic “eat-the-pepper” that Kaga does. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damn-you-william-shatner/65957.md?page=1)