# Damned monkeys. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 3, 2018, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712 "2018-09-03T21:09:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2018, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/1 "2018-09-03T21:09:41Z")
Here’s a localish story. A woman was caught in someone’s house trying to steal their baby [because the monkeys were out to get her](https://www.wjbf.com/news/weird-news/-monkeys-are-out-to-get-me-said-woman-trying-to-take-baby-says-report/1415224890). No word on as to how the baby was going to help in the situation. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2018, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/2 "2018-09-03T22:55:42Z")
She must be terrible at hide and seek. > [@](#): > > He found a woman he didn’t know **on top of the dresser** “trying to hide.” ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2018, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/3 "2018-09-03T23:07:49Z")
What do you guys have in the water in SC? The woman who killed her husband with Visine was from down there, too. > **[Woman charged with murder after poisoning her husband with EYE DROPS](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6120789/Woman-52-charged-murder-poisoning-husband-sneaking-EYE-DROPS-food.html)** > > South Carolina woman, Lana Clayton, 52, who attended her neighborhood bible study, was arrested and charged with murder. She allegedly confessed to poisoning her Steven Clayton, 64.   ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2018, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/4 "2018-09-04T00:30:18Z")
[This](http://www.grandforksherald.com/news/nation/4416393-south-carolina-woman-gouges-out-her-eyes-while-high-get-closer-god) also happened even more local to me than the monkey victim. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2018, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/5 "2018-09-04T00:55:26Z")
Whoever wrote the above article ought to have wild monkeys set upon them: > [@](#): > > He said the grabbed the woman by her arm and drug her outside. _Drug_ her outside?? Geebus :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2018, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/6 "2018-09-04T01:16:48Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > What do you guys have in the water in SC? The woman who killed her husband with Visine was from down there, too. > > [Woman, 52, is charged with murder after poisoning her husband by sneaking EYE DROPS into his food | Daily Mail Online](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6120789/Woman-52-charged-murder-poisoning-husband-sneaking-EYE-DROPS-food.html) The crazy is slowly spreading outwards from Florida. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2018, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/7 "2018-09-04T01:19:08Z")
[It was the _BLURST_ of times?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no_elVGGgW8) ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2018, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/8 "2018-09-04T01:35:17Z")
Reached at their loft in the Winston-Salem hipster neighborhood, the monkeys defended their actions, saying “People say we monkey around, but we’re too busy singing to put anybody down.” ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2018, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/9 "2018-09-04T01:54:54Z")
Hiding on top of the bureau in plain sight? The woman might be literally off her meds and probably should not be mocked. (Except for her eyebrows - who did them and have criminal charges been filed?) ---
**Author:** ![blob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blob/32/489_2.png) [@blob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blob)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2018, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/10 "2018-09-04T01:58:03Z")
Were they the monkeys from The Wizard of Oz? They aren’t very nice monkeys. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2018, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/11 "2018-09-04T01:59:46Z")
This story would have been much better if her name were Dorothy. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2018, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/12 "2018-09-04T02:03:27Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Whoever wrote the above article ought to have wild monkeys set upon them: > > _Drug_ her outside?? Geebus :dubious: The account is so clearly a cut and paste from the original police report that it’s safe to say no one “wrote” it. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2018, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/13 "2018-09-04T02:26:30Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Reached at their loft in the Winston-Salem hipster neighborhood, the monkeys defended their actions, saying “People say we monkey around, but we’re too busy singing to put anybody down.” So, howler monkeys? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2018, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/14 "2018-09-04T11:19:04Z")
Damned monkeys? Sounds more like monkeys of the damned. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2018, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/15 "2018-09-04T13:49:55Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Whoever wrote the above article ought to have wild monkeys set upon them: > > _Drug_ her outside?? Geebus :dubious: Exactly. It’s “_done_ grabbed the woman”, as everyone should know. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2018, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damned-monkeys/820712/16 "2018-09-26T18:33:51Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Whoever wrote the above article ought to have wild monkeys set upon them: > > _Drug_ her outside?? Geebus :dubious: Written and submitted by an infinite amount of monkeys. Their next book, Shakespeare’s plays written in bad English.