# Damnit, she's only 18 months old, she's gonna touch that hot plate no matter what you say! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 8, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306 "2012-05-08T18:53:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/241 "2012-05-12T13:50:11Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > I’m sorry but is it too much to ask that when the prostitute is blowing me while my wife drips candle wax on her tits, she not put her butt plug within reach of my kid ? HE’S ONLY 18 MONTHS OLD, of course he’s going to pull it out and put it in his mouth. When I’m jacking off in their face, 1 time out of 5 the whore kneels down directly between my cock and the crib. WTF are you thinking ? I’m so sorry, sir. Guess I’m just not cut out for the Cheesecake Factory. ---
**Author:** ![scratch\_llll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@scratch\_llll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch_llll)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/242 "2012-05-12T15:49:03Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Wait, what? First you are upset that society today like to shift responsibility onto others - I’m with you there. Then you go on to insist that any and all random servers are responsible for any children at a table? That is shifting responsibility from where it belongs (the parents) onto someone else. > > You are the lazy bunch of cum drizzle, since it is neither unusual or extraordinary for someone to expect a certain level of attentiveness when someone is a parent out in public with their child. Oh wait, yes it has become extraordinary for parents to not expect the rest of the world to be wrapped in cotton for their kid, hasn’t it? > > I too quit reading at the first page and skipped to the last to see how it turned out. Nice to see most of the people didn’t agree with the OP that the rest of the world should be watching his child. I would like to adress this since it falls in line with my previous statements. I can’t believe society has degraded to the point I have to but there you go. It’s as if many of you were raised in skinner boxes without human contact and only discovered it possible when you got a computer or smart phone. I hate that common decency is no longer common but apparently it isn’t. The reason placing a plate in front of a child where it can burn them is wrong is because it is proactively placing someone in harms way. It’s not as if you merely watched a child pick up a knife and stab himself in the eye from across the room because fuck em they shouldn’t be disturbing my day. By placing danger in front of someone incapable of understanding it, be they the spawn of satan you forget you once were too, or an obviously mentally retarded person, it is wrong both in the eyes of any civilized society and in the eyes of the law that society creates. The person placing the plate is an active party to the consequences. Your claim the parent is responsible for their children is valid only so long as there is no proactive negative interference. Suppose there were a line of severs all with a hand burning fetish and the parent could not keep up with the constant plate placement and the childs hand gets burned? Because the parent has failed physically or mentally to keep up it still does not negate the active placement of danger by the server. To put it another way, if I met you in public and observed uncaring disregard for children or the mentally retarded and then pushed a plate in your path which you then slipped on and broke your selfish neck it would still be my fault even if your parent could not rush from home and stop me. I was culpable because I was an active participant in the chain of causation. I would be just a culpable as if I had gotten up and broke your jaw with my fist because I can’t stand assholes who try to weasel out of responsibility for something they actively did by laying all responsibility at the feet of a parent for not being able to protect their child from every random asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/243 "2012-05-12T15:51:48Z")
> [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](#): > > … a festering hatred of helpless little children,… > [@TriPolar](#): > > … everyone who didn’t agree with them were evil child hating motherfuckers… I resent this constant assumption by parents that I hate children. Sure they’re annoying, but I recognize that it’s not their fault that they are child-like. No, I reserve my festering hatred for the _parents_ who summoned the little demon-spawn up from hell in the first place. Oh, and **Crown Prince of Irony** , that was a nice meltdown and flounce-out. I give you a 9 out of 10 for it. You only missed the perfect 10 by failing to tell the _mods_ to fuck off, too. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/244 "2012-05-12T16:36:12Z")
I’m not a parent, but this really seems like much ado about nothing to me. Just move the plate. And if she touches the plate before you can move it, well, guess who just learned not to touch hot plates? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/245 "2012-05-12T16:38:15Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I’m not a parent, but this really seems like much ado about nothing to me. Just move the plate. And if she touches the plate before you can move it, well, guess who just learned not to touch hot plates? I will sum up the two positions in this thread for those who have not been following along: Side 1: Why is this a big deal? Just move the plate. Side 2: Yes, but it is somewhat thoughtless of the waiter to put me in this position in the first place and therefore I am slightly annoyed. Everything else is just people being bored on the Internet, as far as I can tell. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/246 "2012-05-12T16:58:50Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I will sum up the two positions in this thread for those who have not been following along: > > Side 1: Why is this a big deal? Just move the plate. > Side 2: Yes, but it is somewhat thoughtless of the waiter to put me in this position in the first place and therefore I am slightly annoyed. > > Everything else is just people being bored on the Internet, as far as I can tell. I am evidence that these categories are not mutually exclusive. I both don’t think this is a big deal AND I’m bored on the internet. I must say I am terribly not surprised that this ended up in the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![scratch\_llll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@scratch\_llll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch_llll)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/247 "2012-05-12T19:39:21Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I’m not a parent, but this really seems like much ado about nothing to me. Just move the plate. And if she touches the plate before you can move it, well, guess who just learned not to touch hot plates? It’s called callous disregard. It’s why you don’t set a porcupine down in front of a child. And it’s apparent you haven’t the mindset to be a parent. I would advise not working in a business that deals with children or the mentally disabled. ---
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/248 "2012-05-12T21:35:34Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Wait, what? First you are upset that society today like to shift responsibility onto others - I’m with you there. Then you go on to insist that any and all random servers are responsible for any children at a table? That is shifting responsibility from where it belongs (the parents) onto someone else. > > So the wait person puts a hot plate on the table and it happens to be in reach of a child not old enough to understand “hot plate”. Number one, if that child is in a highchair, he can’t reach it unless the parent (i.e., the responsible one) has snugged the chair up to the table. If he’s not in a highchair, why not? Number two, what are the parents doing that is so freaking important that they cannot turn their attention to the person bringing them their meal, which might - dare I say usually? - involve hot items. > > The wait person is not your slave, as much as you would like to believe it. This child-and-hot-plate thing is the same as any other asshole complaining about any other imperfection coming from a less than minimum wage worker. Pay attention, have a bit of patience and quit expecting others to keep your child safe. Shit happens, it’s your job to try to see it doesn’t injure your kids. > > \. No, no no you bubbling fester-hole of molten anal juice. The “responsibility shift” happens when someone decides that \*their \*action, putting the plate down, no longer requires any sort of attention to \*where \*they put it. They’re not gonna put it in your lap, right? They’re not gonna dump it on your head right? Why is it ok to put it in front of a child when it’s so hot that only the calloused fingers of a perpetual diner waitress can handle it? They’ll think so far as to not do something that will get them in legal trouble - dumping hot soup on my balls, stabbing me with a knife in the eye - but not so far as to avoid burning the kid who is inevitably gonna touch the plate with the yummy chicken fingers on it. Get it yet? Do ya? Or are we all still arseholes? ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/249 "2012-05-12T21:52:16Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I am evidence that these categories are not mutually exclusive. I both don’t think this is a big deal AND I’m bored on the internet. > > I must say I am terribly not surprised that this ended up in the Pit. It kinda puts you in a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation. The parents whose hellspawn are running around rioting and spoiling everyone else’s evening aren’t the ones seated quietly at the table and are least likely to be hurt by a hot plate. However, the second your well-behaved child hurts themselves and starts crying, a certain percentage of the population is furious with you and thinks you ought to leave if you can’t settle them immediately. Is this the biggest issue facing parents today? Not even close. Is it annoying to have someone create a hazard for a child who you’ve got sitting safely and quietly (and right when your meal is arriving too)? Yeah. I just want to eat while my food is hot and get home before it gets too late for my kids and we start having non-injury related breakdowns. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/250 "2012-05-12T22:29:17Z")
> [@scratch\_llll](#): > > It’s called callous disregard. It’s why you don’t set a porcupine down in front of a child. And it’s apparent you haven’t the mindset to be a parent. I would advise not working in a business that deals with children or the mentally disabled. Oh, come on, now, I would never do that to those poor porcupines. I understand as a parent it might be frustrating for someone to slap a hot plate down on the table and walk away, but I think it’s unreasonable to expect non parents to grok this shit automatically. I don’t have much experience with kids, and most of my time with them has been in a state of low-level terror because I don’t know what to do with them. And parents are always dissing other parents and talking about how outrageous it is to do X and Y and Z and it wouldn’t even ping my radar. Because thinking like that is something you have to learn. My general view of parents of young children is that they are fussy and paranoid. I have promised myself that I will allow my children to take risks, because I spent too much of my life constricted by fear. I don’t want to pass my anxiety on to my children. I don’t want my kids to live in fear of the metaphorical hot plate. And someday I will no doubt join the ranks of fussy and paranoid parents and talk about how ignorant I was, but until then I am just going to be this person who knows fuck-all about children. And I really shouldn’t have to. Yet. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/251 "2012-05-12T22:50:23Z")
Waiters at family restaurants should know better than to put a hot plate in front of a kid. We are talking specifically about plates so hot that the waiter feels the need to warn people at the table, “This is hot” and not just regular plate temperature. This annoyance for me is along the lines of sitting there for half an hour with an empty drink and not having it refilled. Am I outraged and writing a letter to the mayor? No. But I am annoyed because the waiter should know better. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/252 "2012-05-12T23:08:50Z")
Well, that sounds reasonable. Actually, the more I think about it, the more it seems self-evident that you shouldn’t put a hot object in front of a child. I guess my initial reaction comes from not really thinking of a hot plate as a dangerous object, as a genuine risk. I’m just thinking of a little kid feeling the heat for a second and then pulling away. But I guess the kid could pull it down into her lap or something and that could really cause injury. I know parents are always thinking about the worst case scenario; I guess they have to. For the record, I oppose the burning of children. ---
**Author:** ![scratch\_llll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@scratch\_llll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch_llll)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/253 "2012-05-13T02:36:53Z")
And the porcupining of them one would assume. Nothing worse than a lap full of porcupine. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/254 "2012-05-13T02:43:06Z")
I burning your porcupine. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/255 "2012-05-13T03:29:59Z")
> [@scratch\_llll](#): > > The reason placing a plate in front of a child where it can burn them is wrong is because it is proactively placing someone in harms way. And it is _your_ job as the parent to deal with it, not some random stranger. Any time you expect someone else to do anything at all to keep your kid safe, you are transferring your parental responsibilities to them. There is an ad on right now for some car that hits the brakes when it detects something in the way while it is going in reverse. In the ad, a rather small child is pushing a wheeled toy down a sidewalk, well in front of a man that I assume is supposed to be the father. He doesn’t bother to stay with his kid, to make him easier to see, nor does he even appear to understand the concept that driveways mean that a car could be backing out at any time. No, he transfers his responsibility for his kid to the world around him, and Wonder Car stops before it squishes the kid. And that is just one example of how parents these days think the rest of the world is supposed to makes sure no harm befalls their kid. Problem is, the rest of the world is too busy with their own lives and responsibilities to even be able to watch all of these kids, even if they want to. The rest of your post was just wild exaggerations that you seemed to think are the same thing as sitting in a restaurant and somehow not knowing a hot plate might show up at the table. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/256 "2012-05-13T03:34:56Z")
Maybe you didn’t hear me. I BURNING YOUR PORCUPINE. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/257 "2012-05-13T03:37:26Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > I resent this constant assumption by parents that I hate children. Sure they’re annoying, but I recognize that it’s not their fault that they are child-like. No, I reserve my festering hatred for the _parents_ who summoned the little demon-spawn up from hell in the first place. People ask why I don’t like children, especially since I’m female and therefore am somehow required to love them. What they don’t realize is those people have created my dislike by forcing them on me, requiring I be responsible for them, expecting me to listen to them have a meltdown or scream blue blazes while playing. Its amazing what a generation can do to manners and good parenting. > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I’m not a parent, but this really seems like much ado about nothing to me. Just move the plate. And if she touches the plate before you can move it, well, guess who just learned not to touch hot plates? Because these days children are not allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. They are all wrapped in cotton and given participation awards for showing up. > [@echo6160](#): > > No, no no you bubbling fester-hole of molten anal juice. > > The “responsibility shift” happens when someone decides that \*their \*action, putting the plate down, no longer requires any sort of attention to \*where \*they put it. > > They’re not gonna put it in your lap, right? They’re not gonna dump it on your head right? No, they are going to put it on the table, which is their sole responsibility. If you are such a poor parent that you cannot keep your child from touching the plate, by playing attention fercrissakes, then it is not on the server to somehow magically find a place on the table out of reach of your child, which should be in a highchair away from the table to begin with, for all things that might be hot. > [@](#): > > Get it yet? Do ya? Or are we all still arseholes? I get it, you don’t and you are still an asshole to expect others to pay more attention to your kids than you do. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/258 "2012-05-13T03:42:11Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > And it is _your_ job as the parent to deal with it, not some random stranger. Any time you expect someone else to do anything at all to keep your kid safe, you are transferring your parental responsibilities to them. > > There is an ad on right now for some car that hits the brakes when it detects something in the way while it is going in reverse. In the ad, a rather small child is pushing a wheeled toy down a sidewalk, well in front of a man that I assume is supposed to be the father. He doesn’t bother to stay with his kid, to make him easier to see, nor does he even appear to understand the concept that driveways mean that a car could be backing out at any time. No, he transfers his responsibility for his kid to the world around him, and Wonder Car stops before it squishes the kid. > > And that is just one example of how parents these days think the rest of the world is supposed to makes sure no harm befalls their kid. Problem is, the rest of the world is too busy with their own lives and responsibilities to even be able to watch all of these kids, even if they want to. > > The rest of your post was just wild exaggerations that you seemed to think are the same thing as sitting in a restaurant and somehow not knowing a hot plate might show up at the table. :rolleyes: Once again, this isn’t a random stranger, it is someone I am indirectly employing to serve me food. If you don’t want to deal with kids and have to take their needs into consideration - once again - do not take a job as waitstaff in a restaurant where kids meals and crayons are handed out. If you take that job, then you are going to have to deal with meeting the needs of perfect strangers of all ages all day long because THAT IS YOUR JOB. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/259 "2012-05-13T03:44:38Z")
Dude. You’re arguing with someone who thinks that TV commercials are real. Not worth it, trust me. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/260 "2012-05-13T03:49:29Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Once again, this isn’t a random stranger, it is someone I am indirectly employing to serve me food. If you don’t want to deal with kids and have to take their needs into consideration - once again - do not take a job as waitstaff in a restaurant where kids meals and crayons are handed out. If you take that job, then you are going to have to deal with meeting the needs of perfect strangers of all ages all day long because THAT IS YOUR JOB. You are moving the goal posts - the OP was not about kids restaurants. Why the hell aren’t parents using highchairs? Or do they no longer come with the tray in front? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306.md?page=14)