# Damnit, she's only 18 months old, she's gonna touch that hot plate no matter what you say! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 8, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306 "2012-05-08T18:53:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/21 "2012-05-08T19:53:01Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > So the waitress says, “This plate is extremely hot.” Not “Now now, honey, no touch!” She is warning the ADULTS at the table that the plate is hot. As the child’s caretaker, YOU are responsible for keeping her safe, not the waitress. What is so hard about clearing a place for the plate and asking the server to set it there? You cannot expect the server to be responsible for YOUR child. Yep I’ve even said “put it over here” to be ignored and have it placed in front of my child. But I will disagree with you and say that a server should know that small children should not have hot plates placed in front of them. That’s not being responsible for MY child. That’s being responsible for one of your customer’s safety. ETA: If as a server you don’t want that responsibility, go work somewhere else. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/22 "2012-05-08T19:59:41Z")
You are a parent. You shouldn’t expect anyone to have the same level of concern for your child’s safety that you do. ---
**Author:** ![Kinthalis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kinthalis/32/16084_2.png) [@Kinthalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kinthalis)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/23 "2012-05-08T20:00:39Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > ETA: If as a server you don’t want that responsibility, go work somewhere else. And it’s here that the inevitable happens when hormones and other parent-ly chemicals flood an otherwise rational person’s brain. Suddenly, to such afflicted people, it becomes obvious that it’s the WORLD’s job to adjust to their child and her needs. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/24 "2012-05-08T20:01:27Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > You are a parent. You shouldn’t expect anyone to have the same level of concern for your child’s safety that you do. You are right, but I do expect people to have a minimum level of concern about her safety as it relates to their actions when around her. And those expectations aren’t unreasonable in the slightest regard. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/25 "2012-05-08T20:03:09Z")
By saying, “watch out, it’s hot,” they _are_ showing a “minimum level of concern about her safety.” You want more than that. You want them to be aware of things that only parents of small children or a parent of a particular small child is aware of. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/26 "2012-05-08T20:03:34Z")
> [@Kinthalis](#): > > And it’s here that the inevitable happens when hormones and other parent-ly chemicals flood an otherwise rational person’s brain. > > Suddenly, to such afflicted people, it becomes obvious that the whole world MUST adjust to their child and her needs. The expectation that someone not put an item that could burn someone in front of a small child is not irrational. Not just my kid, but any kid. It’s not rocket science. It’s a recognition that small children don’t yet understand their own well being yet. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/27 "2012-05-08T20:04:55Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > By saying, “watch out, it’s hot,” they _are_ showing a “minimum level of concern about her safety.” You want more than that. You want them to be aware of things that only parents of small children or a parent of a particular small child is aware of. Everyone should be aware that small children will touch whatever you put in front of them. That’s not something that only parents of small children are or should be aware of. ---
**Author:** ![OldnCrinkly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e7dd6/32.png) [@OldnCrinkly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldnCrinkly)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/28 "2012-05-08T20:05:08Z")
Actually, most restaurants do not put the food on hot plates. The plates get hot from sitting under a lamp until the waitstaff takes them to a table. Children’s menu items (fries and burgers, pasta, etc.) are usually faster cooking and thus subject to sit under the lamp until the adults entrees are ready. That is why the kids’ plates are crazy hot. I have to agree with Omar that setting a dish that you know has been heating up under that lamp, that you know is very hot, right in front of a child is stupid, and if not its lazy. I also spent some time waiting tables. It is part of your job to see that you are not handing out hazards with dinner. Either bring the kids’ food when it is done, and avoid the plate being cooked under the lights while you wait, or stagger the order so they come out together. Oh, then the server would have to make an extra trip? Boo hoo and cry me a river. Put it on a fresh plate before you take it out then. I’d rather have dealt with a couple with children than some cheap ass, “I got a coupon!!”, “Don’t forget my senior/student/club member discount!”, “Are we in time for the early bird?” , penny pinching bs. Kids can be a hassle, so can anyone else, but with much less excuse. In the end it is irrelevant, as a server, it is your job to try to keep your customers happy. Avoiding what you know is a potential danger is pretty common sense. Kind of like not putting a knife in children’s place settings. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/29 "2012-05-08T20:05:41Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > If as a server you don’t want that responsibility, go work somewhere else. Preferably somewhere that doesn’t have Steak Diane and cherries jubilee on the kid’s menu. ---
**Author:** ![Kinthalis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kinthalis/32/16084_2.png) [@Kinthalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kinthalis)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/30 "2012-05-08T20:08:09Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > The expectation that someone not put an item that could burn someone in front of a small child is not irrational. Not just my kid, but any kid. It’s not rocket science. It’s a recognition that small children don’t yet understand their own well being yet. No, the wait staff’s responsibility stops at warning you about the hot plate. It is YOUR job as the parent to keep an eye out for such possible hazards. Well aware of them as you appear to be, when the waitress comes over and warns you about the hot plate you can simply say: “Hold on a sec, let me clear away a spot for it away form the child.”. Or you could simply move it away once on the table, or better yet, how about asking the waitress to be aware of the possible issue and in this way tackle it pre-emptively? “I know some of these appetizers come on a hot/sizzling plate. When the food arrives, please wait while I clear a spot for the dish away from my child. Thank you.” ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/31 "2012-05-08T20:10:29Z")
> [@Kinthalis](#): > > No, the wait staff’s responsibility stops at warning you about the hot plate. You and I will have to disagree on that one, and the restuarant managers that I have talked to, side with me. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/32 "2012-05-08T20:11:03Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Everyone should be aware that small children will touch whatever you put in front of them. That’s not something that only parents of small children are or should be aware of. That’s not a reasonable expectation, not of all adults, but certainly not of teenage servers. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/33 "2012-05-08T20:12:54Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > That’s not a reasonable expectation, not of all adults, but certainly not of teenage servers. Yes it is. Unless you are telling me that your average server’s IQ is below 80. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/34 "2012-05-08T20:21:00Z")
There was an older couple dining with their adult daughter who had some sort of disability and probably had the mind of a one year old. The daughter was often disruptive or loud, sometimes made a mess, should they not eat out too? Was the server not expected to know not to place dangerously hot plates in front of her? Granted these were fast food joints and cafeterias, but the point remains. ---
**Author:** ![Quintas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@Quintas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quintas)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/35 "2012-05-08T20:24:47Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > and the restuarant managers that I have talked to, side with me. Restaurant managers almost always side with customers _to their face_. They, like the server, often just want the annoying man to go away. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/36 "2012-05-08T20:25:06Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Yes it is. Unless you are telling me that your average server’s IQ is below 80. So only the mentally retarded don’t have this knowledge ingrained into their minds? Do you live somewhere with an unusually high incidence of mental defects? Or perhaps might you consider that you’re wrong about what other people should have uppermost in their minds? ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/37 "2012-05-08T20:25:16Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > You and I will have to disagree on that one, and the restuarant managers that I have talked to, side with me. The managers side with you because you are an annoyed or pissed off customer that is talking to them at that moment. It’s part of the “keep the customer happy” gig. They may even agree with you in a general “Yes, it would be nice if no one ever put anything in front of your child that could cause harm or a mess.” But I’m willing to bet that if you got a bunch of restaurant managers and workers together for a bull session, the general trend of conversation would be more like “Yah, I’ll try to accomidate them, but when I’m holding 4 hot plates and the only open spot on the table it within 3 feet of the kid, dang yes, I’m putting the hot plates down. I’ll tell them the plate is hot, and then the parents can keep the kid out of the plates.” ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/38 "2012-05-08T20:25:58Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > Actually, no. Babysitting’s not on the menu. Neither is water, but every waitress in the history of time has provided me a tall glass of it every time I sit down. It’s almost as if there are unwritten things that waitstaff is expected to provide. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/39 "2012-05-08T20:34:02Z")
> [@Quintas](#): > > Restaurant managers almost always side with customers _to their face_. They, like the server, often just want the annoying man to go away. So you’re restaurant manager? My friends that own restaurants also agree with me and I’ve seen them fire servers who show a lack of regard for their customers. It is a customer driven business, without the customers you got nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/40 "2012-05-08T20:35:30Z")
Y’know, I’ve been in restaurants where the plates where hot enough to be uncomfortable to the touch, but I’ve never been in one where they were hot enough to actually cause tissue damage from a single brief contact. So occasionally a toddler will touch one of those plates, get hurt, and pull their hand away. That’s how toddlers learn what “don’t touch that, it’s hot” means. And better they learn that lesson with hot restaurant plates than with something like a stove burner that really will cause tissue damage. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306.md?page=3)