# Damnit, she's only 18 months old, she's gonna touch that hot plate no matter what you say! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 8, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306 "2012-05-08T18:53:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jdubs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cdc98d/32.png) [@jdubs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jdubs)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/41 "2012-05-08T20:36:29Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Neither is water, but every waitress in the history of time has provided me a tall glass of it every time I sit down. It’s almost as if there are unwritten things that waitstaff is expected to provide. Yes, because providing childcare and water are analogous when discussing the duties of a waiter/waitress. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/42 "2012-05-08T20:37:19Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > That’s how toddlers learn what “don’t touch that, it’s hot” means. And better they learn that lesson with hot restaurant plates than with something like a stove burner that really will cause tissue damage. Ah so that’s what I’ve been missing, that these servers are actually looking out for my child’s long term interest. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/43 "2012-05-08T20:38:27Z")
> [@jdubs](#): > > Yes, because providing childcare and water are analogous when discussing the duties of a waiter/waitress. Please tell me how not putting something that could burn someone else that doesn’t know any better in front of them is childcare? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/44 "2012-05-08T20:39:08Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > So you’re restaurant manager? > > My friends that own restaurants also agree with me and I’ve seen them fire servers who show a lack of regard for their customers. It is a customer driven business, without the customers you got nothing. I’m pretty sure your friends who own restaurants don’t go around firing people who simply were not aware of the reach or tendencies of your child, that simply being unaware of this shows an inexcusable “lack of regard.” I have a feeling that your friends’ side of this conversation is going to show a fairly different point of view than your characterization. The Whole of the Western World doesn’t necessarily have experience with small children. And it’s not reasonable for you to expect that they behave as if they did. ---
**Author:** ![jdubs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cdc98d/32.png) [@jdubs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jdubs)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/45 "2012-05-08T20:39:10Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > So you’re restaurant manager? > > My friends that own restaurants also agree with me and I’ve seen them fire servers who show a lack of regard for their customers. It is a customer driven business, without the customers you got nothing. And of course, many restaurants have gone out of business due to the toddler/hot plate dilemma. Good lookin’ out. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/46 "2012-05-08T20:40:05Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > The Whole of the Western World doesn’t necessarily have experience with small children. And it’s not reasonable for you to expect that they behave as if they did. But if 10% or more of your customers are small children, then you should become aware. That’s not unreasonable. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/47 "2012-05-08T20:41:40Z")
> [@jdubs](#): > > And of course, many restaurants have gone out of business due to the toddler/hot plate dilemma. Good lookin’ out. I didn’t even say that servers were fired because of mishandling of hot plates with small children, I said that they were fired because of poor customer service. And many restuarants have gone out of business because the customer service sucked. ---
**Author:** ![jdubs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cdc98d/32.png) [@jdubs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jdubs)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/48 "2012-05-08T20:47:31Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > I didn’t even say that servers were fired because of mishandling of hot plates with small children, I said that they were fired because of poor customer service. And many restuarants have gone out of business because the customer service sucked. Soooo…placing a hot plate near a toddler is not a firable offense? Glad to see that we agree on something. Where we disagree (and most others here are disagreeing with you) is that I don’t believe that placing a hot plate near a toddler who is being wholly supervised by her parents shows a significant lack of regard. I also think, based on your responses, that you are not going to be convinced of this viewpoint. Textbook agree to disagree situation. Just know that most people disagree with you and, as such, you should expect servers to continue this behavior (because they are part of “most people”). ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/49 "2012-05-08T20:49:20Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > So you’re restaurant manager? > > My friends that own restaurants also agree with me and I’ve seen them fire servers who show a lack of regard for their customers. It is a customer driven business, without the customers you got nothing. Oh yeah?!? Well _my_ good friend, Jesus Christ Himself, told _me_ that He agrees with me. I’d get Him to post it Himself, but Heaven blocks this site at work. (Who knew!) ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/50 "2012-05-08T20:49:27Z")
> [@jdubs](#): > > Yes, because providing childcare and water are analogous when discussing the duties of a waiter/waitress. I’m not the one that said it was childcare. It’s not - not even close. ---
**Author:** ![jdubs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cdc98d/32.png) [@jdubs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jdubs)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/51 "2012-05-08T20:51:23Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > Oh yeah?!? Well _my_ good friend, Jesus Christ Himself, told _me_ that He agrees with me. > > I’d get Him to post it Himself, but Heaven blocks this site at work. (Who knew!) I have friends who are hot plates and they told me they resent being touched by screaming toddlers all the time. And resentful plates are bad for business. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/52 "2012-05-08T20:55:54Z")
> [@Quintas](#): > > Restaurant managers almost always side with customers _to their face_. They, like the server, often just want the annoying man to go away. “Ow! Daddy, I burned my hand! Owie!” “Not _now_ honey, I’m lecturing the manager!” ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/53 "2012-05-08T20:59:03Z")
> [@jdubs](#): > > Where we disagree (and most others here are disagreeing with you) is that I don’t believe that placing a hot plate near a toddler who is being wholly supervised by her parents shows a significant lack of regard. I also think, based on your responses, that you are not going to be convinced of this viewpoint. > > Textbook agree to disagree situation. Just know that most people disagree with you and, as such, you should expect servers to continue this behavior (because they are part of “most people”). FWIW, I’m not sure that I would consider the dope representative of most people in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/54 "2012-05-08T21:00:44Z")
If the restaurant has high chairs, the wait staff should be able to competently serve a table that includes someone sitting in a high chair. If a plate is dangerously hot to the touch, they should at least ask the parent where to place it down. If water is ordered, and they have child cups/paper/plastic cups, the toddler shouldn’t get a tall glass water goblet. If a single malt scotch is ordered, it shouldn’t be placed in the toddler’s hands without the consent of the parent. “It’s OK, it helps him sleep.” Of course, if you’re at a restaurant with a toddler, when your food comes out you need to be quick on the draw with controlling the kid. No complaints that he grabbed something “too fast” no bitching that he sipped your Pina Colada before you realized the waitresses mistake, then needed to have his stomach pumped. We don’t go out often with our 3 year old. When we do, I spend most of the time trying to corral his ass while choking down my meal, it’s not fun. Restaurants are for nights that Grammie comes over to watch him. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/55 "2012-05-08T21:06:46Z")
The server is watching over an entire section of tables with diners, for spilled drinks, sudden needs, last minute requests, etc. You, and you alone, as parents are in the best position to supervise the needs of your child. Some servers will know this thing intuitively, as you readily admit, some may not see it as ‘their job’ as they cannot possibly be expected to watch a whole section and supervise your child in any way. Besides which this seems a tiny petty thing, to be honest. You’re an adult, speak up, for goodness sake. “Sorry, could you put that over here, so it’s out of tykes reach? Thanks!” Next time she’ll know. It’s possible she’s busy, this is not in the forefront of her mind, she’s already thinking about what’s coming up in the kitchen next. It’s not a high crime, a simple oversight. One easily attended to by any adult at the table, simply by speaking up. The server is not a mind reader, if you have an issue, say so. She is mostly likely to comply to please you. But you should be willing to speak up, before slamming her for not ‘just knowing’. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/56 "2012-05-08T21:11:53Z")
What the fuck are you doing bringing a toddler to a restaurant? ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/57 "2012-05-08T21:21:01Z")
> [@](#): > > The managers side with you because you are an annoyed or pissed off customer that is talking to them at that moment. It’s part of the “keep the customer happy” gig. They may even agree with you in a general “Yes, it would be nice if no one ever put anything in front of your child that could cause harm or a mess.” But I’m willing to bet that if you got a bunch of restaurant managers and workers together for a bull session, the general trend of conversation would be more like “Yah, I’ll try to accomidate them, but when I’m holding 4 hot plates and the only open spot on the table it within 3 feet of the kid, dang yes, I’m putting the hot plates down. I’ll tell them the plate is hot, and then the parents can keep the kid out of the plates.” Ex-restaurant manager, quoting for great justice. As I now work in a grocery store, my dealings with small children are now of an entirely different nature. I don’t know how many times i’ve had to make a split-second reaction because someone’s toddler tried to run right in front of me while I was carrying several boxes of eggs, or pulling a 3,000-lb pallet down an aisle on a manual jack with no brakes, or driving a forklift that weighs as much as three cars. Parents in general need to be aware of their surroundings and their kids’ behavior, because the kids themselves sure don’t have any awareness of their environment. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/58 "2012-05-08T21:25:19Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Ex-restaurant manager, quoting for great justice. > > As I now work in a grocery store, my dealings with small children are now of an entirely different nature. I don’t know how many times i’ve had to make a split-second reaction because someone’s toddler tried to run right in front of me while I was carrying several boxes of eggs, or pulling a 3,000-lb pallet down an aisle on a manual jack with no brakes, or driving a forklift that weighs as much as three cars. Parents in general need to be aware of their surroundings and their kids’ behavior, because the kids themselves sure don’t have any awareness of their environment. As the parent of a toddler let me tell you that despite all efforts they do get away from you, it happens. Aside from living on a mountaintop until they grow up there is no way to have quiet motionless kids in public. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/59 "2012-05-08T21:30:20Z")
I totally agree that as her parent I am her first advocate. Did some of you not read the OP? I do watch out. I do grab things from the servers before they get to her, I do speak up and ask that they watch out for things they put in front of her. But it’s **also** the responsibility of the server to watch out for their customers. This is not some sort of binary decision, where parents go into a restaurant and look at each other and say “honey, I’m glad Martha, our server, will be watching Baby Susie, so we can enjoy our meal.” All I ask is is that they don’t make my job of watching out for my child any harder than it already is. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/60 "2012-05-08T21:34:26Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > Exactly what is it that you’re ordering for your toddler that comes on a dangerously hot plate? I was at Boston Pizza on the weekend with my son and the waitress brought his meal ahead of the others. Yay! Good waitress! 🙂 However, she brought it on a plate that was so hot, she needed a double folded cloth napkin to carry it. Boo. Bad waitress! ☹ She then proceeded to put it right in front of Junior while saying ‘This plate is like, super hot!’ as I was diving to retrieve it before Junior wound up with a burn on his hand. Boo! Hiss! Grrrr! Very bad waitress! :mad: > [@Scarlett67](#): > > So the waitress says, “This plate is extremely hot.” Not “Now now, honey, no touch!” She is warning the ADULTS at the table that the plate is hot. As the child’s caretaker, YOU are responsible for keeping her safe, not the waitress. What is so hard about clearing a place for the plate and asking the server to set it there? You cannot expect the server to be responsible for YOUR child. No, but I can expect the server not to be a stunned bint, and put a red hot plate in front of a toddler while saying ‘This plate is hot!’ _AT THE SAME TIME_. For fucks sake - if it’s too hot for you to carry and you just mustsetitdownrightthissecond, then it’s too fucking hot to put in front of my kid. Or me, for that matter, because I don’t want to accidentally brush the thing with my arm and wind up with a burn either. And before anyone jumps in, I was a server for years and: 1. if a plate was too hot for me to pick up in the kitchen, I would have the cooks move it to a cooler plate, _particularly_ if it was a child’s meal. 2. if a plate was warmish, or I was refilling coffee, I would let the people at the table adjust their child out of harm’s way before plopping stuff in front of them - sometimes this took a bit of time, and I would have to say ‘These items are hot - could you please move Junior out of the way so s/he doesn’t get a burn.’ more than once. And you know what? I was happy to do those things because I was a good waitress, and also not an asshole. Because frankly, not giving a shit about a small child getting burnt when you put something hot in front of them, because their parent is a bit clueless, makes you a big, fat asshole. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306.md?page=4)