# Damnit, she's only 18 months old, she's gonna touch that hot plate no matter what you say! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 8, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306 "2012-05-08T18:53:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/101 "2012-05-09T02:20:31Z")
I agree that people are morons. Waiters and waitresses are often clueless and don’t think about what they’re doing at all. It’s perfectly reasonable to rant about the general state of idiocracy that we seem to be entering. But guess what? It’s not a secret! This is not some exceptional circumstance, it’s an everyday occurence. People can’t follow the simplest of instructions much less use critical thinking skills in positions of greater responsibility than delivering food to a table. Why on earth do you expect to encounter a sociallly and economincally responsible waitress when you take your infant daughter out to a restaurant? You definitely know she’s going to grab anything she sees and you should have been prepared to stop the waitress or anyone else from getting anywhere near her. You should have expected to have a hot plate delivered, and not just hot, flaming, with crackling embers flying off the plate, and red hot steak knives and forks with sharpened tines pointed outward, precarilously balanced on the edge of the plate. That level of preparation is the only way to have a 50/50 chance of a grabby toddler not getting injured anytime she’s outside of a padded pit. So once again, the waitress is an imbecile. And you are ranting about the banality of stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![spinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@spinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spinky)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/102 "2012-05-09T02:53:21Z")
I would personally love it if all servers had a clue about setting hot stuff in front of my toddler, much like I love it when they automatically bring a water glass with a lid and straw. But they don’t, so I have to act quickly sometimes. There is one restaurant we go to where we always get the same, very nice server, and he almost without fail sets the sizzling hot cast iron fajita plate right next to the kid, and I frantically swoop in and move them. I will often mutter, as he walks away, something like, “great place to put that, genius.” I’m not going to get mad at the guy, but it does strike me as a pretty boneheaded move, especially if he were to pay the slightest attention to my reaction in the interest of providing good service. Wishing he would pay a little attention to things like this does not constitute expecting him to “babysit.” ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/103 "2012-05-09T03:17:00Z")
> [@ntucker](#): > > There is one restaurant we go to where we always get the same, very nice server, and he almost without fail sets the sizzling hot cast iron fajita plate right next to the kid, and I frantically swoop in and move them. One wonders why you keep ordering the sizzling hot cast iron fajita plate while dining with a toddler if this is such a recurring issue. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/104 "2012-05-09T03:20:47Z")
The father of two toddlers checking in. I’ve had to take both of them, by myself, to a restaurant. Well, I didn’t _have to_, but we were out and about and needed lunch. We’ve survived those, but we’ve had water knocked over at other times, when both my wife and I were there, and neither of us was as vigilant as when I’m by myself, and cannot afford to let any plates or glasses anywhere near little hands. > [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Everyone should be aware that small children will touch whatever you put in front of them. That’s not something that only parents of small children are or should be aware of. I’ll disagree. It would be nice, but I think you’re expecting something that the real world isn’t going to give you, Alice excepting. You have to remember that child friendly restaurants are on the lower end of the scale. You’ve got a lot of teenagers who are new to any work environment, or people new the job, and some who really don’t care that much. The waitstaff are trying to learn or keep track of 692 things simultaneously. When he’s bringing out the food, his mind is juggling “OK, drop this off here” with “Oh shit, I forgot to refill that table’s coffee.” When people get more experience, and their brains aren’t on overload, they learn. At least the ones who give a shit. And as long as you are going to restaurants which have high chairs and crayons, you’re going to get new kids and a certain percentage who don’t care. Either way, not having the expectation that they will understand the very basics of toddlers isn’t something which you can bank on any more than assuming that drivers can watch out for your kids. You just can’t, and have to be prepared. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/105 "2012-05-09T04:04:18Z")
If I had kids, I would be annoyed too if I purposefully cleared a no-mans land free of all spillable and pointy objects, only to have a server put a super-hot plate in front of Junior. I mean, where else are you going to change the diaper? ---
**Author:** ![spinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@spinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spinky)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/106 "2012-05-09T04:26:12Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > One wonders why you keep ordering the sizzling hot cast iron fajita plate while dining with a toddler if this is such a recurring issue. Well, it could be that I’m a reasonable person, and, as I portrayed in the post you are responding to, it’s really not that big an issue since I have the ability to just move the plate to a more sensible place while simultaneously wondering if the guy is ever going to catch on. But the real reason is probably that I’m a monster who thinks delicious fajitas are more important than my child’s safety. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/107 "2012-05-09T09:40:07Z")
> [@ntucker](#): > > Well, it could be that I’m a reasonable person, and, as I portrayed in the post you are responding to, it’s really not that big an issue since I have the ability to just move the plate to a more sensible place while simultaneously wondering if the guy is ever going to catch on. But the real reason is probably that I’m a monster who thinks delicious fajitas are more important than my child’s safety. Why would he catch on? He’s got used to you being a proper parent and moving stuff out of the way of your child, letting you be in control of your child’s interaction with the food on the table. I’ve been amused in the thread about the perceived level of danger from hot plates. Like someone else said, I’ve never seen anyone get burned either. I mean, “red hot”, seriously? Here’s a little lesson for you that don’t understand, the wait staff uses a towel sometimes to bring a plate to the table as they have to actually hold it, clasp it with their hand, without any real option of putting it anywhere else. Your little darlings can touch, feel heat and immediately withdraw their hand. That’s how we learn not to touch hot things. If your child is clasping something “red hot” and not letting go despite pain then frankly you’ve got other issues with the child that mean they probably need a lot more specialist attention than you are giving and, frankly, is way beyond the job description for wait staff, even if rudimentary babysitting is included. TL;DR version: Plates can be hot. They’re not red hot. Your child doesn’t touch them long enough to cause any damage. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/108 "2012-05-09T10:27:29Z")
> [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > How are people with no exposure to children supposed to know these things? You learn them, the same way you learn how to pour coffee, carry a tray full of food, and what glass to use for water vs iced tea vs red wine. You’re a waitress at a family restaurant, one with high chairs and game filled paper placemats, you learn the right way to serve a toddler. If you can learn which side of the placemat gets the fork you can learn “don’t put sharp/hot things in front of high chair patrons”. It’s not rocket surgery, you just treat the little one with a bit more caution. I’m generally not a complainer, but it appears more parents should speak up to their waitress, because it seems like they are almost happily ignorant of this trivially simple concept. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/109 "2012-05-09T10:36:03Z")
For the record, I’m not so much worried about lasting physical injury as having a pleasant dining experience. Soothing toddler who’s crying because he spilled water on himself or touched a hot plate is not enjoyable. Scrambling to restrain your child and remove things from his reach is not enjoyable. I clear out a space of dangerous/inappropriate things so that I don’t have to continuously re-direct his activities during my meal, it’s not cool for the waitress to randomly drop things in that space, it makes my mealtime less enjoyable. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/110 "2012-05-09T11:00:11Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > My 18-month-old goes with me to restaurants sometimes. When the waiter puts a hot plate near her, I move the fucking plate. > > Amazing how that works out. That’s how I did it when my kids were that age. Worked wonderfully. Then again, I also cleaned up under the high chair after the meal, cut up the kid’s food, poured beverage from restaurant cup into sippy cup, etc. then tipped extra generously. I never once thought it was the waitstaff’s responsibility to cater to my child. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/111 "2012-05-09T13:46:18Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I never once thought it was the waitstaff’s responsibility to cater to my child. Well, I don’t think it’s the waitstaff’s responsibility to cater to _anyone_. When I go to a restaurant, I usually cook my own food in the kitchen and then carry it to my own table, refill my own drinks, and then clean up after myself when I’m finished. I mean, it’s unreasonable to expect the restaurant staff to know how to do any of those things. What, do you think people are _born_ knowing how to cook and serve food? Pff. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/112 "2012-05-09T14:27:04Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Well, I don’t think it’s the waitstaff’s responsibility to cater to _anyone_. When I go to a restaurant, I usually cook my own food in the kitchen and then carry it to my own table, refill my own drinks, and then clean up after myself when I’m finished. I mean, it’s unreasonable to expect the restaurant staff to know how to do any of those things. What, do you think people are _born_ knowing how to cook and serve food? Pff. I just bring the food already prepared to the restaurant. After all, I’m only paying them for a place to sit down. No need to get their dishes and silverware dirty. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/113 "2012-05-09T14:36:18Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I just bring the food already prepared to the restaurant. After all, I’m only paying them for a place to sit down. No need to get their dishes and silverware dirty. And run up their light bill? I just eat at home and send them a check. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/114 "2012-05-09T14:44:11Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > And run up their light bill? I just eat at home and send them a check. Hopefully, you don’t forget the tip. ---
**Author:** ![Corcaigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Corcaigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corcaigh)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/115 "2012-05-09T15:02:21Z")
My mother is now in her 80s, I’ve been her full-time Carer for 15 years, during that time anyone who’s said to her “the plate is hot” has had to watch her put her hands on the plate… I have to ask servers in restaurants to please don’t give her a hot plate. I don’t expect them to mind my mother for me. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/116 "2012-05-09T15:05:32Z")
So I guess all the people in this thread saying ‘What’s the big deal? So Junior touches the plate that’s too hot to carry without a double folded cloth napkin and gets a bit of a burn? They need to learn, right?’ are also not going to object when Junior starts screaming bloody murder after having burned his hand. And none of you helpful folks are going to glare at my table when I’m trying to soothe my not-even-2-year-old while he’s bawling my eyes out? And none of you are going to suggest that we should have to leave the family restaurant we specifically chose because it’s supposed to be ‘child-friendly’ because the server couldn’t spare one drop of common sense to avoid this scene from happening? And none of you will criticize me when I drop said server’s tip from about 20% down to 10%, right? Lord some of you must have been shitty servers - frankly if avoiding a screaming-child scene at your tables was too much to accomplish, it’s likely a good thing that you got out of the biz. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/117 "2012-05-09T15:11:35Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > So I guess all the people in this thread saying ‘What’s the big deal? So Junior touches the plate that’s too hot to carry without a double folded cloth napkin and gets a bit of a burn? They need to learn, right?’ are also not going to object when Junior starts screaming bloody murder after having burned his hand. Nope, we (at least I) are saying that it is the responsibility of the parent to oversee junior’s actions. > [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Really? I can’t take my 21 month old to Chuck E’ Cheese in case the servers are too stupid to figure out not to put hot things in front of him? > > Frankly, expecting family restaurants to hire staff that actually give two passing shits about not burning their customers doesn’t seem like a huge stretch. Chuck E Cheese is not a restaurant. Been there. Unless it has changed dramatically, it is an amusement place that has food. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/118 "2012-05-09T15:33:28Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Nope, we (at least I) are saying that it is the responsibility of the parent to oversee junior’s actions. And it’s the responsibility of the wait staff to provide their service in a manner that enhances the dining experience. Providing service in such a way as to require one patron to actively protect another patron from a hazardous situation is a seriously sub-optimal service strategy. This is especially true when the situation can be avoided by simply placing items down at a different spot on the table. Look, a waiter can forget who gets what entree, and it’s fairly simple for the diners to swap plates. That doesn’t mean waiters shouldn’t make an effort to get each diner the correct dish. It’s good service, and not caring about it (because the fix is simple for the patron) is bad service. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/119 "2012-05-09T15:34:13Z")
Chuck E Cheese is a restaurant. Claiming otherwise is extraordinarily stupid. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306/120 "2012-05-09T15:35:19Z")
> [@Corcaigh](#): > > My mother is now in her 80s, I’ve been her full-time Carer for 15 years, during that time anyone who’s said to her “the plate is hot” has had to watch her put her hands on the plate… > > I have to ask servers in restaurants to please don’t give her a hot plate. > > I don’t expect them to mind my mother for me. FWIW, I would also expect a waiter not to put a hot plate in front of an elderly person who was obviously suffering from some form of dementia or otherwise incapacitated. It’s just basic common sense not to put dangerous items in front of people who might hurt themselves. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/damnit-shes-only-18-months-old-shes-gonna-touch-that-hot-plate-no-matter-what-you-say/621306.md?page=7)