Having been a waiter, I feel all customers should understand the need to make their children sit the hell down and shut the hell up!
After all, it’s a restaurant, not a kindergarten. If you want someone to look after your child pay for a babysitter. They get paid better than waiters to deal with your wailing brat.
Especially now that it’s in the pit.
It is a stranger inasmuch as her interest in your kid’s welfare is likely the same as with any unknown person. We try to protect the little ones, but if they aren’t part of our tribe, we expect his or her guardians to be well… on guard.
I’m about to be a first time parent after a 25 year absence from babysitting. So I admit to having no idea what to expect from my own child, much less the children of strangers who may or may not have been working on manners, or who may or may not have a typically developing child, or who may or may not be distracted by something else when armloads of plates are imminent. There is a learning curve to be sure, and as I said, rewarding a particularly attentive waiter is a good thing. But penalizing or verbally spanking someone for failing to realize that the spot you cleared is the worst place to set down a plate is over the top.
I appreciate the tip I picked up here: learn to anticipate restaurant hazards. But I hope I’m never so harried by parenthood that I would snap at a service worker for setting a dish down within reach of my kid.
As long as you’re OK with having fewer paying customers, and fewer tips. You see, babysitters cost money, restaurant food costs money, and people only have so much money. I have to pay a babysitter, that just means a restaurant meal is way more expensive than the menu price, and I’m not going nearly as often. Maybe I’ll get takeout, so you can take my order, pack up my meal and process the sale for no tip. Enjoy!
He’s a waiter, he should have an interest in his customer not burning his hand on a hot plate, it’s bad for business. When setting it down in front of an adult, you say “Be careful, this plate is hot”
Let’s say you had a customer who did not speak English, they are Polish, and you don’t understand a word coming out of their mouth, and they don’t understand a word coming out of yours. They pantomime their order, and you bring out their food. Do you set down a hot plate in front of them with no caution? Tough shit, buddy, learn the language. Or, do you make eye contact and make sure they understand?
If you would make the extra effort for a foreigner, why not for a child? Is he not your customer too?
There’s an undercurrent of child resentment in the idea that the waiter can ignore a child’s needs. Let the little bastard grab the hot plate, he needs to learn not to be so grabby, and the parents shouldn’t bring their crotchfruit out in public.
The child comes equipped with both translator and caretaker, presumably sitting within reach.
The child resentment has come from a minority here, like Squirminator. Not all who disagree are anti-child. I like kids. I prefer them to be safe, happy, and relatively quiet in any restaurant when possible. But I read the increasingly angry attitudes of Crown, Omar, and a couple others as hostile, demanding, and entitled, and not at all conducive to a pleasant dining experience for anyone. Having a meal prepared and brought to you and your family is a luxury; a relaxing, happy, social event and not a divine right. The addition of baby or toddler means that all should prepare to improvise, but no one should be expected to cater exclusively to the wriggly little blob of trouble, no matter how cute, precious, or vulnerable he is. The baby isn’t the sole customer, and his welfare and satisfaction lies primarily with his caretakers.
My only objection to what the OP and other said is the expectation that a server who is a teenager or an adult without direct experience caring for kids is by definition a moron or dangerously negligent if he or she doesn’t already know and have uppermost in his or her mind a small child’s potential ability to reach things on the table and tendencies to grab or knock things over.
People without kids don’t necessarily know everything about kids and even if someone once told them about it, they might not always have it uppermost in mind. That doesn’t make them stupid or negligent. That’s my only real objection to what the parents are saying here.
Okay, now that we’re in the pit:
You’re an idiot.
The server does not know if your kid is a small four year old, or a large 18 month old. The server does not know your kid’s level of development. The server does not know your kid has crazy tentacle arms that can sweep across half the table.
The server DOES have a long list of responsibilities that they get paid for, and get fired if they do not accomplish, INCLUDING water glasses and napkins, and NOT including keeping your toddler from hurting themself.
Erm, disagree completely. As a parent of a particularly large, grabby, long-armed 18-month-old who is the size of some 3-yr-olds, it’s not the waiter’s responsibility to accurately assess the reach and grabbiness of my kid. I order a kid’s meal and a covered cup of water for her, they’re going to put it in front of her–even though she still has to be monitored or food goes everywhere. I order a hot plate for me, it’s going to go in front of me–which is reasonable, even if I know that I have to skooch it over out of her reach because she’s going to be interested.
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I’ll say the same thing I said upthread: When a waiter puts something in reach of my 18-month-old, I move it. Problem fucking solved. And I take my kidlet to midrange restaurants all the time, and she charms the pants off the waitstaff in any case–which is dangerous, because then they assume she’s older than she is because she’s outgoing and friendly. Big deal–that’s why I’m sitting right there.
I’ll say the same thing I’ve said multiple times upthread…so do I.
As do I. As does every reasonable parent. And when I spill a drink I ask for some napkins if none are brought. And if I order a baked potato and it comes with no butter or sour cream, I ask for those. And if my drink is empty for a while I ask for a refill. And if the server plops down the bill without asking about dessert and my party was interested in it, I’ll say 'We would like dessert, actually."
However, it’s really nice when a server does all of those things without me having to ask, and irritating when they don’t. Not 'Irritating, I’m going to get in their face and call them an idiot." Not 'Irritating, I’m going to call the manager over and make a big fuss." Not even 'Irritating, I’m going to tip nothing and refuse to return."
More like, 'Irritating, I’m going to roll my eyes as one does when dealing with someone who isn’t very good at their job, and lower their tip." End of story.
Alice, apparently there’s a list of what servers are supposed to do. Somehow I missed it when I waited tables in college, but after reading this thread, it is apparent there’s a list somewhere. I had no idea that when it came to customer service there are only a limited number of things that servers are required to do. And even the ones that go above and beyond that list are just catering to the overdemanding whiny needs of customers that should be happy they got food at all from the kitchen.
Allow me to don my Internet Tough Guy apparel…
Mr Waiter, I know your boss gives you a long list of responsibilities that he pays you $2.13/hr to accomplish. I, OTOH, am prepared to hand you WAY the fuck more than that for the time you spend getting my order, submitting my order, getting my drinks, and finally bringing my food. Do what I fucking want, or you can pay your bills on the $85.20/week that appears to take precedence over my table’s needs.
[/ITG]
Seriously, they’re all too overtaxed to even THINK about an appropriate place to set a hot dish? I’ve never seen so much defense of lackadaisical mediocrity.
And in the future, when a customer with your philosophy denigrates your teenager for failing to anticipate his expectations and she comes home from work, exhausted, humiliated, and broke will you remind her to do whatever the customer fucking wants if she wants a tip?
I thought your attitude seemed a little entitled, but now I see it as shockingly hateful, uncharitable and unkind. The server, like your child, is a human being deserving of respect. If you feel you must remind someone to be mindful of objects placed within reach of a little one, there are numerous ways to educate a novice without devaluing her.
I might remind her (him, actually) that he might want to try and do a good job rather than skate through blissfully unaware of the results of his actions.
My problem is not with the folks looking for waiter dignity, but folks arguing that there is actually nothing wrong with a waiter putting anything that could be hazardous to a child in front of said child. It’s totally OK because it’s the parent’s job to watch the kid.
I’m not entirely sure how a waiter can take such a dismissive view of his customer, then put his hand out at the end of the meal to request his earnings. I’m not a “customer is always right” type of guy, but I do understand that the “customer is always necessary”.
Of course, because it’s my job as parent to care for my child - not some random person. Other people in the world are free to treat him like crap, disregard him, and generally act like a total jerk to him, because he’s not their kid.
And if people do treat him like crap, without respect, and without a minimum level of care, I’ll just shrug it off because hey, I’m his mom - they’re not. Right? I mean, I can’t expect people out there to have even a passing level of concern for my child - he’s not their responsibility.
I remind you–I’ve ordered that dish FOR the kid off the kid’s menu. There are a whole host of circumstances where the waiter could be doing something that is (from the waiter’s POV) reasonable that would involve a risk to a kid, specifically because kids vary in size and development so much.
Hell, I routinely overestimate what my kid is capable of, just because she’s so big. She doesn’t fit my concept of 18-month-old, she looks like she’s closer to 30 months. So what hope does a waiter have, again?
The waiter can ask. You have a plate that’s too hot to handle comfortably, ask. Connect with your customer and say “This plate is pretty hot, will your rugrat be Ok with it, or should I put it down out of reach?” Instead of plopping it down and saying “be careful, it’s really hot”, or nothing, and leaving the parent to scramble.
I’d like to know what everyone’s definitions of “place the hot plate RIGHT in front of the toddler” are. I think that’s a big part of where this discussion is causing the “you’re wrong” / “no YOU are” arguments here.
On the one hand, (and I say this both as the parent of former toddlers/current grandparent of a recent toddler/current preschooler, and as a former waitress) it’s completely UNREASONABLE to expect every waitperson to know the magic distance at which to place hot plates from your toddler (yes, they ARE miniature Stretch Armstrongs). And it’s not as if most restaurant tables are vast acres of eatery real estate with tons of “safe spots” from which to choose either. And that’s not to even mention the whole aspect of many 18 month olds appearing to be at least 3.
On the other hand, people are correct in saying that if a waitress sees a toddler and has a hot plate, that they should take reasonable caution and common sense in placing that hot plate away from the toddler. Where it goes awry is in people’s definition of what constitutes “placing the plate away from the toddler”.
That said, I’m leaning toward the “don’t expect everyone in the outside world to help you parent your kid” crowd. There are way too many people who do expect unreasonable special treatment regarding their kids to the detriment of just about everyone around them.
I once had a waitress put down a fajita plate (you know, the little cast-iron pan that they bring out on its own block of wood because it’s so hot) right in front of my 2-year-old. Like, as though she were serving the plate directly to him.
Although to her credit, my eyebrows shot up and I said, “Uh–!” and she instantly realized her mistake and moved it.
But when I say “hot plate in front of a little kid” that’s the sort of thing I’m thinking of.
Seems like a non-issue to me - the sort of thing that can easily be solved, or never be an issue in the first place, with a little goodwill and reasonableness on each side. Point of fact, I don’t actually recall any waitstaff who has failed to take adequate steps - not putting down sharp knives of hot plates near the boy. Perhaps I’ve just been lucky and had ones with common sense.
And for saying this, I expect someone to verbally (well, in writing) punch me in the nuts. Right in the nuts. 