# Dan Savage for Dummies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 9, 2011, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855 "2011-06-09T15:05:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855/21 "2011-06-10T13:56:45Z")
> [@QuarkChild](#): > > There seems to be two different Dan Savages. I’ve read two of his books (The Kid and The Commitment). I liked both those books. However, they seem nothing like his columns. His columns are very confrontational and explicit. His books are like, “So then Terry and I had breakfast, and Terry made me delete the next two sentences.” There’s nothing explicit, and while occasionally the books seem to present an agenda, they aren’t nearly as in-your-face. I suspect this might be Terry’s influence–maybe Dan is trying to respect Terry’s privacy–but for whatever reason, the books seem very toned down, and therefore less entertaining than his columns. > > Just my 2 cents. I think there might even be a third Dan Savage, the one on his podcast. He’s not nearly as snarky as he is in his column, and comes across a lot more empathetic and kind. He’s not pushing the humor as hard as he is in the column and it creates a great balance. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855/22 "2011-06-10T14:22:14Z")
He’s also very clear in his podcasts that he has an agreement with his partner/husband (they were married in Canada, IIRC, but that doesn’t count in WA) that he discloses very little about their sexual life. I don’t think there’s a conflict between “Dans” here - he obviously respects Terry’s privacy and wishes, and is being a good husband. He mentions often that people will have something that is “the price of admission” for being in a relationship with them, and that usually these are fine, as long as it is disclosed upfront, or negotiated when possible. And yes, he can be snarky in the podcasts, but then he’ll get a call from some depressed/devastated person who needs help, and you can hear the concern in his voice. I’ve had tears come to my eyes frequently during calls like that. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855/23 "2011-06-10T14:41:29Z")
I’ve been a big fan of Savage for quite a while now. He’s got a great, sometimes snarky, attitude and he gives really good advice. Occasionally I think he’ll get on a soapbox now and again, but I think that comes with the territory and he typically has some interesting insight when he does get into this mode. I thought one of his funniest columns was when he related the advice he gave to everyone within the context of the move Starship Troopers. Fortunately for everyone, I was able to [find it](http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/savage-love/Content?oid=895064)! This thing is still brilliant over a decade later. I do have to call BS on Savage for one thing, though. He had one column where he described his first time with a woman. He mentioned that when he got done _something_ came out of the woman’s vagina and he freaked out and determined that he would never put his penis into something that excretes something odd like that. Uh Dan, ever see what comes out of a butt? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855/24 "2011-06-10T15:27:53Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I do have to call BS on Savage for one thing, though. He had one column where he described his first time with a woman. He mentioned that when he got done _something_ came out of the woman’s vagina and he freaked out and determined that he would never put his penis into something that excretes something odd like that. Uh Dan, ever see what comes out of a butt? I read that column, and I took his tone as one of total irony. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855/25 "2011-06-10T16:34:36Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I read that column, and I took his tone as one of total irony. You may be right. I have to re-read that column if I can find it. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855/26 "2011-06-10T16:41:54Z")
Was that the same column where he described female genitalia as looking like “a canned ham that has been dropped from a great height?” I laughed so hard when I read that the first time, I thought I was going to rupture something. ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855/27 "2011-06-10T17:47:11Z")
> [@Improvisor](#): > > He was on a ‘Live’ episode of _This American Life_ a few years back here in Seattle. He told a really great story about his own life. Well worth the 15 minutes to listen to it. It gives you a sense of what he is like outside of his sex column persona. > > You can listen to it here (Act Four. My Other Dog’s A German Shepherd): > [http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/328/what-i-learned-from-television](http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/328/what-i-learned-from-television) I was actually coming in to mention his appearances on TAL in general. [Here are the search results](http://www.thisamericanlife.org/search?keys=dan%20savage) for him there. I’ve never read his books but he’s a great speaker and I prefer his spoken stuff to his columns. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855/28 "2011-06-10T21:06:44Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I do have to call BS on Savage for one thing, though. He had one column where he described his first time with a woman. He mentioned that when he got done _something_ came out of the woman’s vagina and he freaked out and determined that he would never put his penis into something that excretes something odd like that. Uh Dan, ever see what comes out of a butt? I believe he wasn’t talking about semen, but of queefing. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855/29 "2011-06-10T21:13:05Z")
I saw a great talk by Savage when he came to IU. He’s a very funny guy. I used to listen to his podcast religiously. He is very pro-gun, which I like. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855/30 "2011-06-10T21:16:31Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I do have to call BS on Savage for one thing, though. He had one column where he described his first time with a woman. He mentioned that when he got done _something_ came out of the woman’s vagina and he freaked out and determined that he would never put his penis into something that excretes something odd like that. Uh Dan, ever see what comes out of a butt? Not blood, usually. Then again, I’m the proud owner of a pair of red wings, so I’m not the one to talk. ---
**Author:** ![hamwater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/0ea827/32.png) [@hamwater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hamwater)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855/31 "2011-06-11T00:27:52Z")
Oh wow, thank you all for the replies! I will definitely go online and read some columns and listen to the podcasts. I listen to “This American Life” whenever I can anyway so I will check that episode out too. I will probably go ahead and order _Skipping Toward Gomorrah_ as well since that one was mentioned the most. I read online a lot (probably at least a couple of hours everyday just here), but there is something I really like about actually holding a book and reading it… Thanks again you guys. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dan-savage-for-dummies/584855.md?page=1)