# Danalan, leave the children alone! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 10, 2002, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753 "2002-09-10T02:31:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/61 "2002-09-10T22:00:42Z")
Point of information from somebody who has owned floor shift cars and trucks with bench seats for a good portion of his life: When a female other than the driver’s SO is sitting in the middle, there is _always_ a “situation”. This can be handled with something like: “Slide your knees over. I’ve gotta’ shift and I don’t want you to think I’m getting weird.” Say this in a lighthearted voice and with a slight smile, and nobody is offended or frightened. From his prior experience, the owner of this vehicle has to have known what was going to happen when he needed to shift. “Spread your legs babe” was said with malice aforethought, either to embarrass the girl, or perhaps he was trolling for a favorable comeback. In either case, **danalan** should have come to her defense, not joined his friend in this behavior which was in all likelihood very humiliating to a young girl. My .02. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/62 "2002-09-10T22:11:55Z")
Haven’t you guys heard of fiction? Cherry sucker, indeed. I am almost 100% sure that this is a really really embelished story. Chances are he got in the truck with an attractive sixteen year old and began to thinking about her in a sexual way. He then noticed the “Hello Kitty” undies and realized how horribly wrong his entire line of thought has been- she wasn’t running around with _no_ undies, she had _childrens_ undies! He was on the wrong track altogether! Of course, a story about a quick ride in a truck isn’t all that interesting, hence all the “cherry suckers” and “spread your legs, babe”. On second thought, he might have realized that his embellishments made him out to be a creepster, and not simply a guy who was amusingly hit with reality after letting fantasy run away with him. With a bit of revision, this could be a pretty good, non-creepy story. Even the best author strikes out every once in a while. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/63 "2002-09-10T22:21:43Z")
I agree that Danalan’s behavior was somewhat boorish. And the tone he posted in was poorly chosen. However, I think he’s being **incredibly** overly harshed on… - **Belladonna** , your story is far different, and far far more disturbing. In your story, someone is actively going out of his way to do things to arrange a situation in which he can ogle you. And when you attempt to change your situation to stop the ogling, he prevents you from doing so. That would be more analogous to a situation where Danalan had calculatedly assigned the girl to the middle seat, and then refused to switch seats with her. -It’s a bit unclear, but I hardly get the impression that either Danalan or his friend were constantly ogling the girl. The impression I got was that he glanced at her panties for a second, then looked away and was trying not to look again, and then couldn’t restrain himself and glanced again. Obviously, one would prefer that he not look at all, but that’s a far cry from sitting there in the seat staring at her crotch or chest for the whole car ride. In fact, the impression I got was that the whole situation made him feel uncomfortable -Probably the most disturbing thing that Danalan and the driver actually did was comment on the Hello Kitty panties. They definitely shouldn’t have. It was, as has been said several times, boorish. It seems likely to me that they wouldn’t normally have commented on her panties if not for the sheer bizarreness of them being Hello Kitty. Which is not to excuse their actions, because they really should have kept quiet or been polite, but still, I’d bet that what was running through their minds was “oh my god that’s hilarious” as opposed to “man I wish that rape were legal”. -I’m very sick of, and very frustrated by, the claim that men who look at women and find them attractive are somehow turning them into “objects” or “pieces of meat” or what have you. I’ll be the first to admit that I enjoy looking at attractive women’s faces and bodies. But that in no way implies that I value women, either as colleagues, friends, or girlfriends, only for their physical attractiveness. The fact that I read Maxim and enjoy looking at the photos therein does not mean that I want to marry Anna Nicole Smith (even if I found her attractive, which I don’t). -I think many of you are reading into this story that Danalan is partway down the road to being a child molester, even if he isn’t quite there (and some of you seem to think he pretty much is there). He might or might not be a pervert or a pedophile or someone into auto-erotic asphyxiation involving swans and kangaroos. I don’t know. But the fact that he copped a peek at a sexy 16-year old’s panties doesn’t at all mean that, if the opportunity presented itself, he’d hit on her, grope her, rape her, molest her, or do anything else other than not keep his fool mouth shut. -I guess the acid test is this: would I want _my_ 16-yeard old daughter (if I had one) to ride in a car with Danalan? Well, honestly, I don’t know Danalan. But I have male friends who I would trust with my life, or my daughter’s virtue, who I can easily imagine having exactly the same reaction, and even saying the same things that Danalan said (not that this would be their finest hour, needless to say). They probably would have the good sense not to post about it on the SDMB, and they’d probably feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, but I don’t think that this story by itself automatically damns Danalan into the category of people-to-keep-my-daughter-away-from. To be blunt and crass, he and his friend were in the situation they were in, and **didn’t** start anything along the line of leaning in, asking inappropriate questions, readjusting mirrors, etc. To sum up, I’m not nominating Danalan for sainthood, but neither am I accusing him of any crime more serious than displaying a slightly inadequate amount of forethought, being in an awkward situation, acting a very little bit boorish, and then having the bad taste to post about it. On the scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being totally inoffensive and 10 being absolute evil, that’s about a 1.4 at the worst. ---
**Author:** ![Estilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Estilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/64 "2002-09-10T22:24:47Z")
Thank god, I was asking a minute ago if someone could move the thread from which this is derived,in orde to say a thing or to to danalan,not knowing thata good soul had already done that. Dan. I hope someone rapes you, I mean not just anybody but someone really big in that way you’ll be able to feel the embarrasment, fear (two guys drooling over a minor) and disgust you provoked. I hope he uses something big, sharp, and rusty. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/65 "2002-09-10T22:25:33Z")
Posted by **even sven** :“Haven’t you guys heard of fiction?” Fiction normally includes the disclaimer:“Any relation to actual events…etc”. If this was fiction, it would have been a courtesy to inform us of that fact. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/66 "2002-09-10T22:40:43Z")
Upon further reflection, I have to agree that “Spread your legs” was a totally inappropriate comment. That said, … > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Estilicon \* > \*\* Dan. I hope someone rapes you, I mean not just anybody but someone really big in that way you’ll be able to feel the embarrasment, fear (two guys drooling over a minor) and disgust you provoked. I hope he uses something big, sharp, and rusty. \*\* WTF??? Dan saw a girl’s panties. Then he saw them again. Then he laughed and made her feel uncomfortable. Then he posted about it. And he didn’t stop his friend from saying “spread your legs”. OK, not fantastic behavior. And for that he deserves to be RAPED? Come ON. Next, on the-world-according-to-Estilicon… the big kid who tripped my son, and how I KILLED HIM!!! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/67 "2002-09-10T23:36:40Z")
Speaking as a woman who has been raped, I’d like to tell Estilicon to FUCK THE HELL OFF. I would never wish rape on anyone in the world. And what Danalan did didn’t even COME CLOSE to what rape survivors go through. Dial back the drama about fifty six points, ass. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/68 "2002-09-10T23:58:11Z")
Okay, here’s MY analysis: > [@](#): > > Pete was the obvious choice to make the run – being that Pete was the only one whose pickup was actually running. Bob’s only goes in reverse. Not useful on the highway, but not quite dead yet, either. I don’t even have a pickup – I’m between Harley’s and won’t need a pickup until I get another. Unfortunately, Pete can’t buy beer in town. He’s of legal age and all, but his mother-in-law works at the local grocery, and she’s convinced Pete’s a no-good, worthless bum. Whether that’s true, or not, is not for me to say. He’s a character, I’ll give you that, but he is gainfully employed, and his wife thinks highly of him despite her mother’s opinion. Pete could have bought beer at the Chevron, out on the highway, except the owners know his MIL too – she’d find out somehow. In any case, I had to go along, which I really didn’t mind anyway. Okay, “Pete’s a character”, and his mother in law thinks he’s a REAL creep. And I find it fishy that his mother in law will NOT sell the guy beer-even though Pete is more than old enough to drink. And not only that, if he bought beer elsewhere, he was afraid she’d find out. Why would it matter if he bought beer elsewhere? Makes me think there’s a lot more to the story. > [@](#): > > On the way to town my cell phone rings. It’s Kathy, Bob’s daughter. She want’s to know if we are going to town, and if so, could we give her friend Helen a ride back. Sure, no problem. Helen lives near the lumberyard, and will meet us there. I have Kathy describe Helen, and tell her to describe Pete’s truck to Helen, so she doesn’t end up getting the wrong ride. Okay, Helen is Kathy’s friend. Kathy asks her dad’s friends to pick her friend up, so Helen can come over. Okay. > [@](#): > > Getting in the cab, Pete & I get our first good look at Helen. Kathy and Helen are in high school, Juniors, IIRC. Helen is seriously good-looking, but of course she’s only 16. She’s at that dangerous age, not quite really a woman, not really a little girl, either. She’s skinny and curvy in all the right places, and has long, tanned legs. She’s wearing a white tank-top (with bra straps showing), and a mini-skirt – probably not the best choice for riding in a pickup, but it’s a short trip. Pete & I get in, Pete does his switch thing, and off we go. Helen says ‘Where’s the key?’, so Pete explains the system to her, and I notice he’s embellishing a bit – making a story of it. I’m thinking, easy Pete, she’s serious jailbait, when I realize that he’s not really doing anything flirty, and that maybe I’m just jealous (Yikes). Maybe I’ll get that pickup sooner than I thought… Umm…so Pete admits he’s flirting with the girl. Kind of stupid, but still not THAT bad… Said girl is wearing a tank top and short skirt-standard warm weather garb. And she’s obviously wearing a bra. > [@](#): > > When I come out, I put the beer on the floor and slide in. There suddenly isn’t enough room for Helens feet over on my side, so she puts one foot on each side. The truck is in 2nd gear, and the gearshift knob is just on the left side of her left leg. Her knees are together, still demure, no problem. We pull out onto the highway, and Pete shifts into 3rd. It’s about that time that I see the problem coming. And, for the life of me, I can’t decide what, if anything, to do. Did I mention that Helen has now unwrapped the cherry sucker, and is licking and sucking it? Well, that’s what you do with a sucker-you lick it? D’uh. > [@](#): > > I finally decide that conversation is the best tactic, if Helen is distracted, she won’t be freaked out so much. ‘So, Helen, how’s school going so far?’ Well, turns out that Helen can talk. If I’d been paying attention, I’d have learned all about how cheerleading is now a competitive sport, and you can get a letter in it, and how cross-country is way more fun than she thought, and how Janice somebody did something or other… Here is where it starts getting creepy. She’ll be “freaked out?” Huh? From WHAT? And you want to “distract her?” :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > Meanwhile, Pete goes to shift to 4th, and finally realizes his dilemna. I don’t know if he’s just slow, or if he was distracted by the (really interesting) jiggling going on under that white tank-top from the interaction of his poor suspension and the concrete joints, but now he’s got a real problem. I’d say he has a problem. I certainly think commenting on the poor girl and referring to her as “the jiggling under the tank top” is kind of skeevy… > [@](#): > > Never being faint of heart, Pete deals with the problem directly, uttering those immortal words: ‘Spread your legs, babe.’ She does, and he pulls the gearshift knob down to within 6" of every teenage boys wet dream. Okay. So she’s no longer a person, just " teenage boy’s wet dream?" Pete is already disgusting beyond words. I can see why his mother in law can’t stand him. All they can think about is being close to her naughty bits. In a very obvious way. Lovely. > [@](#): > > Now, I’m human, and I’m male, and I’m American. And so is Pete. We aren’t about to stop and stare, no, that would be rude. But a quick, discreet glance is somehow required in this situation. I dare any one of you to avoid it, given the circumstances. No, a “quick discreet glance” is NOT required. What is required is to behave like a gentlemen, dickhead. A lot of guys I know would be more embarassed and trying NOT to look at the naughty bits of a girl young enough to be their daughter. I know MY father doesn’t even like it when I leave my bra in the bathroom! I think he’d be seriously creeped out. > [@](#): > > So Pete and I steal a glance, and WTF? Looking straight ahead now, not listening to how there are now so many students that they have to split up lunch, and the teachers are kind of unhappy about it, I ponder the signifigance of what that glance revealed. Definitely something other than just plain panties going on there. In fact, come to think of it, there wasn’t any indication that there were panties – no pastel colors, just nothing except some sort of darker area… No. NO WAY! If the situation required a quick glance before, what is required now? What is required is that you behave like an adult. Obviously, that’s too much to ask. > [@](#): > > One could argue that discretion is required. That now that the secret is out, gentlemanly behavior demands silence. But of course, you’ve already proven you’re not a gentleman. And it demands a hell of a lot more than that. Or you could have said, if you were a TRUE gentleman, “Um, you might want to fix um, your skirt.” And then look away. > [@](#): > > One could just as easily argue that a thorough look is required, just to prove that one is wrong – no sweet young thing would wear just a mini-skirt. One could just as easily argue that it’s none of your damn business. “Sweet young **thing**?” > [@](#): > > She certainly wouldn’t be blithley riding up the highway with two lucky dogs like us, enthralled in our wonder. “Lucky dogs.” These guys are acting like they’ve won the lottery. Okay, now I know guys usually admire young girls. A given. HOWEVER, to feel like they’ve died and gone to heaven because they get to oogle a teenager…sounds like peeping toms to me. > [@](#): > > The decision was made, further investigation was necessary. That stolen glance was too quick, and my curiousity was now whetted to a fine edge. I had to know, dammit! Because of course, you’ll die if you don’t look up her skirt. Never mind HER feelings, right? > [@](#): > > Apparently, so did Pete, as he caught my eye, guiltily, for a millisecond, as we both took a moment and gazed over and down. Down at those pretty peach panties, with the decal on the front. A decal instantly recognizable to millions, maybe billions, of teenage girls and boys worldwide. Wouldn’t you have to look pretty far down to get a look at her underwear? > [@](#): > > The lovely thing sitting between us, now so harshly examined, stopped talking, stopped licking her lollipop, and she looked at me, then Pete, open-mouthed. Not believing her own senses – ‘Were they just looking up my skirt?’. She’s not a “thing.” She’s not there for your amusement. She’s a young girl-albeit a very naive and trusting girl, apparently, and now she realizes that two guys old enough to be her dad are staring up her skirt. > [@](#): > > Pete, meanwhile, not being one of the possibly billions of teenage girls and boys worldwide who instantly recognized the decal, finally gets it. ‘Hello Kitty!’ he calls out, delightedly, and breaks into what can only be described as a shit-eating grin. So she wears Hello Kitty underwear. So WHAT? I like Hello Kitty. I like cool underwear. That doesn’t mean I want the whole world making comments on them. > [@](#): > > Then we both crack up, as Helen puts her hands in her lap, pulls her knees together as far as possible, and turns not quite as red as her cherry sucker. Not quite, but awfully close. Because it’s soooooo hilarious to make a young girl feel creeped out, ashamed and dirty. Right. I want to know what else happened. Like, what happened when she got to Bob’s. If they said anything. If Kathy did. I don’t want to come off like a feminazi, but the whole time, they really didn’t seem to think of the poor girl as a person, but just as some doll for them to leer over. And then it was FUNNY when she got embarassed. And for those saying she was “dressed like a hooch”, go to hell. It’s WARM out. I wear shorts/minis and tank tops in the summer time! So fucking WHAT? Like that gives these guys a license to be jerks? It’s not their admiration of her, it’s their leering, snickering and making her feel uncomfortable. It’s their complete and utter disregard for her feelings. Since Helen isn’t here to defend herself, I think some people here have a LOT of nerve calling her a whore. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/69 "2002-09-11T00:09:44Z")
Guin, maybe I missed it, but who called her a whore? And also, I’d like some concrete proof that what Danalan did made her feel “dirty, ashamed and creeped out.” thanks. ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/70 "2002-09-11T00:21:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MaxTheVool \* > **The impression I got was that he glanced at her panties for a second, then looked away and was trying not to look again, and then couldn’t restrain himself and glanced again.** “Couldn’t **restrain** himself?” Horse-fucking-shit. This is a man we’re told is around 40 years old. If he wants to see “Barely Legal!!!” girls’ panties, he can do a fucking Google search and find all the voyeur pr0n he wants. When he’s with a real, live 16-year-old girl that he doesn’t even know, he can bloody well act like a 40-year-old man and restrain himself from looking at her “jiggling boobs” and trying to sneak a crotch shot. Jesus wept. Is there no behavior so foul that **some** Doper won’t pop up to defend it? ---
**Author:** ![Synnove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/97f17d/32.png) [@Synnove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Synnove)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/71 "2002-09-11T00:34:05Z")
Hey **jarbabyj** - Your anecdotes about your behaviour at that age seemed to imply that you showed teachers your panties on purpose. If you were flashing a man your panties on purpose and he saw them, would you then respond by pulling your hands into your lap, squeezing your legs together as close as possible, and turning bright red in embarrassment? Is that how you reacted to a situation that aroused you? Because if so, then fair enough, maybe the girl is like you at that age, and she was also aroused and she wanted them to look and then once they looked she thought she’d play the oh-so-erotic part of “embarrassed girl” to keep them further at her whims. But I somehow can’t reconcile the two concepts, “girl who wants to turn older men on” and “girl who hides her panties and turns red when men make lewd comments about them”. There seems to be a fundamental conflict between the two. If none of the people who weren’t, at sixteen, aroused by such a situation are supposed to think about how we’d feel if we were in such a situation and then project our feelings onto her, how about you don’t do that either, and we call it a day? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/72 "2002-09-11T00:38:57Z")
I’m not trying to project me onto anybody and by telling you how I reacted in those situations, I’m hoping we can see that all girls are different, and perhaps telling Danalan that because he snuck a peek at her panties this girl all but went home and slit her own throat out of shame we can come to some sort of consensus. We all agree he was a bit creepy, especially in the idea that he came to the boards, eager to tell the story. I think it’s very odd that he presented in such a ‘Literotica’ sort of style… But as these threads continue, his transgression is leading to Estilicon WISHING VIOLENT RAPE on him…and I think that’s just a touch over the top. So, yes, I’ll call it a day if you’d like. Just wanted to present a different sort of thought process. No skin off my nose. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/73 "2002-09-11T00:59:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Jesus wept. Is there no behavior so foul that some Doper won’t pop up to defend it? No, there isn’t. Wasn’t it Cecil who said something like “Leave it to the Temming Millions to defend the rats”? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/74 "2002-09-11T01:01:46Z")
I don’t think he deserves rape. And no, maybe she wasn’t sobbing in shame. But she seems awfully embarassed. And besides-even if she didn’t feel degraded and ashamed, they should have thought that perhaps that would be one possible outcome of their behavior. I notice **Danalan** hasn’t come back to defend himself. Hmmmm…I wonder if maybe Helen DID tell her father? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/75 "2002-09-11T01:04:25Z")
Oh, and in the original thread, Helen was called a hooch and a tease, and made out to be someone who “had it coming”. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/76 "2002-09-11T01:16:00Z")
Oh, well I apologize then. I gave up reading the original thread. It was beginning to become redundant. I, too, would like to hear Danalan’s rebuttal. J ---
**Author:** ![trishdish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d2c977/32.png) [@trishdish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trishdish)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/77 "2002-09-11T01:16:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Guin, maybe I missed it, but who called her a whore? > > And also, I’d like some concrete proof that what Danalan did made her feel “dirty, ashamed and creeped out.” > > thanks. \*\* You probably haven’t gone back to the original post but some very astute and wise high school boys have alluded to her being a “hooch” and that her mode of dress meant “she wanted it”. Obviously, we can’t give you concrete proof that Helen felt “dirty and ashamed and creeped out” but when I read things like she lost her train of thought, turned bright red, and squeezed her legs together, it sounds like she didn’t derive too much enjoyment out of the experience. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/78 "2002-09-11T01:38:52Z")
I only have this to say… why hasn’t **danalan** been back to either thread to defend/explain/excuse/whatever himself? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wrong_Girl)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/79 "2002-09-11T01:53:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Oh, well I apologize then. I gave up reading the original thread. It was beginning to become redundant. > > I, too, would like to hear Danalan’s rebuttal. > > J \*\* Yeah, me too. Where is he anyway? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@The\_Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tim)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753/80 "2002-09-11T01:53:35Z")
Although I’d generally stay out of the swarming pile of angry that this thread is I’d just like to say that **Estilicon** has demonstrated that he is a far worse human being than the two guys in the pick up. Since I’ve already waded in I might as well say something about the post that spawned this thread. I could understand if a guy in their early to mid teens did this. After all even if they know better and are sensitive to the issue they simply have less experience with these situations. Guys can take a while getting comfortable around attractive women. When the woman is off limits for some reason the discomfort can increase. That said by 40 if you can’t deal with these situations there is something wrong with you. More over you should know that some situations are a bad idea to post about. So yes if the story is a transcription of actual events **danalan** was in the wrong in a lot of ways. It may just be though that his social sense is way off. Tarring and feathering him for that isn’t right. A simple “Do you realize how uncomfortable you must have made her.” or something like that might have been better to respond with at first and given him a chance to explain the situation more. Oh and no guys don’t have to look. There is a desire to look, to check out, to oogle and to do a double take when something is surprising. That doesn’t mean you have to act on them but the desire is there and the desire alone doesn’t make you some sort of sicko. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danalan-leave-the-children-alone/127753.md?page=5)