# Dancing With the Stars will make your daughters want to grow penises. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 3, 2011, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032 "2011-09-03T04:52:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/1 "2011-09-03T04:52:17Z")
Yep, your daughters will want to grow penises and your sons will wish they had vaginas, or so says Psyciatrist Dr. Keith Ablow in an editorial for [FoxNews.com](http://FoxNews.com) (c’mon, you knew that was coming. Who else is going to publish something like this?), the good Doctor has [this to say](http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2011/09/02/dont-let-your-kids-watch-chaz-bono-on-dancing-with-stars/), among other things, in his op-ed creatively titled “Don’t Let your Kids Watch Dancing With the Stars”: > [@](#): > > It is a toxic and unnecessary byproduct of the tragic celebration of transgender surgery that millions of young people who do watch “Dancing with the Stars” will have to ponder this question: Maybe my problems really stem from the fact that I’m a girl inside a boy’s body (or a boy inside a girls body) So you see parents, the boogie man isn’t a fantasy, it doesn’t live in the closet, and it doesn’t want to eat little Suzie. It’s name is Chaz Bono, it lives in the TV, and it wants to sew a penis on little Suzie. I’ve never thought that children should watch _Dancing With the Stars_, myself, but that’s mainly because I’ve always thought that no one should. And with this new cast, only further harm can come to society. I speak not of Mr Bono, but of… (did you feel that? I swear the temperature just dropped ten degrees)… Nancy Grace. Dateline November 17, 2011: Mass suicide death toll continues to rise after airing of Nancy Grace lambada routine ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/2 "2011-09-03T05:07:31Z")
I’ve always said a strap-on ought to be a part of every decent gal’s repertoire. ---
**Author:** ![Feyrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/fbc32d/32.png) [@Feyrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feyrat)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/3 "2011-09-03T05:39:12Z")
If the fabulous RuPaul (who is not transgender, but who looked better in a dress than I EVER WILL) didn’t make me want to grow a penis, why would Chaz? I don’t need all that business going on down there. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/4 "2011-09-03T06:00:24Z")
A doctor named “A_blow_” talking nonsense about penises on national tv. The irony is to be savored. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/5 "2011-09-03T06:42:53Z")
I want to grow penises! What do I need to start? I’ve got potting soil and those little starter pots. Can I grow them indoors during the winter? What kind of fertilizer should I get? I mean, just imagine the market! Potted penises! Every single hetero woman and most of the rest of the people will want one, if only for conversation value. I really think this guy is missing out on an excellent investment opportunity. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/6 "2011-09-03T06:47:27Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > I want to grow penises! What do I need to start? Football, beer, and porn. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/7 "2011-09-03T06:58:38Z")
You know, if I fold and tuck my package a certain way…never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/8 "2011-09-03T07:17:12Z")
So Fox’s news content is actually improving. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/9 "2011-09-03T07:19:23Z")
Dancers ain’t easy to love and they’re harder to hold. And they’d rather have a penis than diamonds or gold. Big feather boas and hard plastic strap-ons and each night they pick a new sex. And if you don’t change with 'em or just use your tongue, it’s gonna get really complex. ---
**Author:** ![Theios](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e8c25b/32.png) [@Theios](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theios)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/10 "2011-09-03T07:35:10Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > Dancers ain’t easy to love and they’re harder to hold. > And they’d rather have a penis than diamonds or gold. > Big feather boas and hard plastic strap-ons and each night they pick a new sex. > And if you don’t change with 'em or just use your tongue, it’s gonna get really complex. I was feeling sore about having to wake up at 3am for a trip. But this little gem just made everything in my little world right again. Thank you, Sir. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/11 "2011-09-03T09:36:34Z")
Everybody needs a goal. Just sayin. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/12 "2011-09-03T09:59:35Z")
You know, I’m a pretty liberal guy. If a guy wants a vag, sure. Go for it. And I’d be fine with these daughters growing a penis too, but I gotta tell ya, several penises is where I draw the line. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/13 "2011-09-03T11:32:31Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > You know, I’m a pretty liberal guy. If a guy wants a vag, sure. Go for it. And I’d be fine with these daughters growing a penis too, but I gotta tell ya, several penises is where I draw the line. Bigot. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/14 "2011-09-03T11:56:51Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > You know, I’m a pretty liberal guy. If a guy wants a vag, sure. Go for it. And I’d be fine with these daughters growing a penis too, but I gotta tell ya, several penises is where I draw the line. Weird. Several penises is HOW I draw the line. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/15 "2011-09-03T12:24:21Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > Football, beer, and porn. Not too much beer, or the penis won’t grow. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/16 "2011-09-03T12:44:08Z")
DWTS gives you a big Bono. ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/17 "2011-09-03T12:49:19Z")
Actually, _DWTS_ makes me want to gag, which comes from my brain trying to wrestle with the concept that Bristol Palin is a “star”. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/18 "2011-09-03T13:52:13Z")
Hey, the way I see it, they’ve managed to piss off both sides of the political spectrum with this season’s lineup. There are conservatives who won’t watch it because of Chaz Bono, and liberals who’ll boycott because of Nancy Grace. Maybe the ratings will be low enough to get it canceled. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/19 "2011-09-03T14:26:39Z")
Only liberals hate Nancy Grace? I thought hating Nancy Grace was apolitical, something we could all agree on. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032/20 "2011-09-03T14:41:15Z")
My ex-gf loved that show. We were together for a few years so I have seen more seasons of DWTS than any righteous and just man deserves. It astounds me that there is a large group of people who both give a shit about what happens on that awful show _and_ has a problem with a transgendered man and a female dance partner paired together. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dancing-with-the-stars-will-make-your-daughters-want-to-grow-penises/595032.md?page=2)