Danger Assessment: Tug on Superman's Cape, Spit into the Wind, Pull the Mask Off The Old Lone Ranger

[Scuba_Ben]

@Wheelz

Well, if you attempt to pull off Darth Vader’s mask, and fail, it will indeed go very badly for you.
However, should you happen to succeed in pulling off his mask, Vader would actually become less dangerous, no?

If you get close enough to grab Vader’s mask, I highly doubt you’ll live long enough to start pulling it off of him.

[Steve_MB]

@RealityChuck

The Lone Ranger probably wouldn’t do anything himself, but you’d fall victim to the Iron Rule of Secret Identity: anyone who discovers a secret identity will die. Maybe a rock fall, maybe a meteorite, maybe Tonto. But you’re a dead man walking once you find it out.

I recall an Astro City story where some small-time mook stumbled upon Jack-in-the-Box’s secret identiy. He considered selling it to one of his enemies for big money – until it occurred to him that once said enemies knew he had that information, they had cheaper methods of convincing him to give it up. At the end of the story, he left town, clearly intending to forget the whole thing.

[garygnu]

Only one of those three is dangerous in a wide variety of realities. Spitting into the wind is ALWAYS a bad idea.

[Little_Nemo]

Well, since Superman and the Lone Ranger don’t exist, I’ll go with spitting into the wind as the worst option.

BTW, my vote was for spitting into the wind, 'cause wind ain’t fictional.

That’s why messing with Superman or the Lone Ranger is so dangerous. The only way to interact with them is to break the natural order of reality.

[Cheesesteak]

The Lone Ranger will turn around, punch you out, rub his fist thoughtfully and say “That should keep him out for a good 10 minutes, and he won’t remember a thing.”

Then he’ll leave before you wake up with Post Concussion Syndrome, and spend months dealing with double vision and vertigo. Thanks, Lone Ranger!