# Danny Bonaduce- what a colossal fucking asshole. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 14, 2005, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957 "2005-11-14T05:11:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/21 "2005-11-14T23:31:35Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > Jesus Christ. The things I **don’t** miss by not having cable. Goddamn, who’s the friggin’ idiot at VH1 who thought it would be a good idea (let alone _enteraining_ to give these jerkoffs a stage to dance with their dervishes. Too bad this isn’t broadcast over the air; this is something that might make ya wanna write the FCC about misuse of the public spectrum. You haven’t seen “My Fair Brady”, have you? I now know way more about Christopher Knight’s love life than I ever wanted to. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/22 "2005-11-14T23:39:50Z")
Is it wrong that not only do I kinda like watching Breaking Bonaduce, but that I LOVED the Surreal Life with Omarosa and Janice? ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2005, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/23 "2005-11-14T23:59:04Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > [Preemptive strike] > > Not sure if this needs to be said or not be here it goes: > > I understand some women are stuck in situations like the above because of financial constraints. But this clearly isn’t the case with her. She has plenty of money to get away from asshole. I’m not so sure I’d consider that the case. Apparently, one of the reasons they did the show is because they are Broke with a capital B. They really have no money at all. So they’ve done the show to get some cash and hopefully, get his career started again. As far as the show goes, he makes me ill. You can already hear Isabella, the daughter, making excuse after excuse for him - I wanted to slug him when she told him at rehab “It’s not your fault, Dad!”. She’s learning to make excuses for him just like he makes excuses, just like the wife makes excuses. That’s one screwed up family and they’re sending their kids right down the same path. E. ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/24 "2005-11-15T02:16:29Z")
> [@beckwall](#): > > This fucking sucks. I work two part time jobs and manage to pay my bills. Right now, I have isolated myself so much that even Mr. beckwall does not want to deal with me, and he’s been my rock for 9 years. So yeah, I’m an asshole too. Me and Danny should start a club. Two things… the innate problem attached to rationalising unacceptable behaviour by one person to another is that almost always, it smacks of blaming the victim. Sometimes, we just have to call assholishness for what it is. Put that in your mental note list for future reference. Secondly, using the internet to feel sorry for yourself is manipulative behaviour - it’s a form of attention seeking in a very unhealthy way. That being said, there are some very good people on this messageboard who have tackled depression with great panache. Find them. Consult with them. But do NOT fish for sympathy in a thread like this again. It’s not the right thing to do, methinks. ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/25 "2005-11-15T02:20:09Z")
> [@Diane](#): > > Is it wrong that not only do I kinda like watching Breaking Bonaduce, but that I LOVED the Surreal Life with Omarosa and Janice? I wouldn’t exactly say that it’s wrong, however it seems to me that you enjoy being a voyeur - albeit unknowingly. Fair enough, but I personally can think of (and also partake in) a veritible shitload of better things to do with my life. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/26 "2005-11-15T02:54:13Z")
**Boo Boo** , what’s going on with you today? You’re being awfully judgmental. Or are you always like this? ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/27 "2005-11-15T03:02:35Z")
> [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > I wouldn’t exactly say that it’s wrong, however it seems to me that you enjoy being a voyeur - albeit unknowingly. Fair enough, but I personally can think of (and also partake in) a veritible shitload of better things to do with my life. Naw, I just don’t take some of my television that seriously, besides, DVR makes it possible to fit it into my life when I run out of those veritible shitload of other things that I do. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/28 "2005-11-15T03:13:36Z")
> [@Elza B](#): > > I’m not so sure I’d consider that the case. Apparently, one of the reasons they did the show is because they are Broke with a capital B. They really have no money at all. So they’ve done the show to get some cash and hopefully, get his career started again. > > As far as the show goes, he makes me ill. You can already hear Isabella, the daughter, making excuse after excuse for him - I wanted to slug him when she told him at rehab “It’s not your fault, Dad!”. She’s learning to make excuses for him just like he makes excuses, just like the wife makes excuses. That’s one screwed up family and they’re sending their kids right down the same path. > > E. I’m sure that’s the reason THEY gave, but I, for on,e don’t believe it for a second. I mean come on, have you seen their cars? their house? The damn toys they have for their kids? I’m not qutie sure they know what broke really means. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/29 "2005-11-15T03:29:49Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > I’m sure that’s the reason THEY gave, but I, for on,e don’t believe it for a second. I mean come on, have you seen their cars? their house? The damn toys they have for their kids? I’m not qutie sure they know what broke really means. Perhaps that’s why they’re broke! And now they’re trying to earn some quick cash before the cars get repossessed and the house foreclosed. ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/30 "2005-11-15T03:43:20Z")
> [@Diane](#): > > Naw, I just don’t take some of my television that seriously, besides, DVR makes it possible to fit it into my life when I run out of those veritible shitload of other things that I do. Oh… the wit… you’re cracking my ribs… ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/31 "2005-11-15T04:24:13Z")
> [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > Oh… the wit… you’re cracking my ribs… I once read a pamphlet in my doctor’s office that said removing a stick from your ass and getting more calicium in your diet works fucking miracles, but then again, IANAD so don’t take my word for it. At the risk of having your uptight pissbrain head explode in repulsion, I don’t know if I should confess to you (naw, I think I’ll risk it) that not only do I have all episodes of Breaking Bonaduce and Surreal Life recorded on my DVR, I also have them recorded on VHS so I can enjoy them years from now! When I am old and once my veritible shitload of other things that I do has slowed to a trickle. Know what else? I READ **STAR MAGAZINE!** AND I MISS **MELROSE PLACE!** AND I LOVE **E! HOLLYWOOD TRUE STORY!** :::Gasp::: The motherfuckin horror of it all!!! ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/32 "2005-11-15T06:57:33Z")
> [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > But do NOT fish for sympathy in a thread like this again. It’s not the right thing to do, methinks. Methinks you are the exact type of person who perpetuates all the negative myths about mental illness. Drop the judgement calls. You have no idea what you are talking about. Just the fact that you say so many people on the board have handled their depression tells me that you weren’t listening very well. I’m not talking about depression, simple or even clinical. At the risk of being accused again of “fishing” (F U), I have multiple diagnoses besides bipolar. I am a medical professional. I take the best care of myself that I possibly can. Sometimes it just isn’t possible, but you wouldn’t get that unless you’ve been there. And BTW, I’ve seen a lot of fishing on the boards. We call it supporting each other. And it’s empathy that we need, not sympathy, asshat. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/33 "2005-11-15T07:43:52Z")
I’ve known Bonaduce was trouble ever since I saw him gun down Michael J. Fox in a blind rage. ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/34 "2005-11-15T08:18:07Z")
> [@Zabali\_Clawbane](#): > > His daughter is already acting like him subtely though. ☹ Most clinicians believe that BPD (borderline personality disorder) can be passed along genetically. Also, most (not all) people with BPD were abused and/or neglected in their infancy and youth. The abuse does not have to be sexual (although that is also a factor). Emotional abuse can be a cause of BPD also. Some neurologists think it may have to do with lower pre-frontal lobe activity, which prevents control of strong emotions. This means trauma to the head can also be a cause. I know for a fact that my wife was repeatedly beaten until she got nosebleeds when she was young, and I think this might be a factor in her BPD. Here are some cites: from [Biological Psychiatry](http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6T4S-4F29HY8-1&_coverDate=01%2F15%2F2005&_alid=335265882&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_qd=1&_cdi=4982&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=58d21fdeefd3d3ee0a1cb9a1dd0526d2), from [Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging](http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6T4S-4F29HY8-1&_coverDate=01%2F15%2F2005&_alid=335265882&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_qd=1&_cdi=4982&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=58d21fdeefd3d3ee0a1cb9a1dd0526d2), and again from [Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging](http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6TBW-491J4PK-2&_coverDate=07%2F30%2F2003&_alid=335266019&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_qd=1&_cdi=5153&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=671197c7dcfb8cc1363c40308d876231) . ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/35 "2005-11-15T08:36:30Z")
> [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > Two things… the innate problem attached to rationalising unacceptable behaviour by one person to another is that almost always, it smacks of blaming the victim. Sometimes, we just have to call assholishness for what it is. The thing is that a person with BPD just doesn’t think and act the way you or I would. Their neurochemistry is seriously messed up and you can’t even begin to imagine what they feel and think. A good start to finding out what goes through the mind of a person with BPD is [this book](http://www.bpdcentral.com/bks/supposed.shtml). One of the traits of BPD is splitting. This means that their world view has no grays, but only black and white. If a person with BPD has “split you white” it means they think you are the best thing since sliced bread and completely admire and adore you. However, one little mistake (and only the BPD sufferer will know what that is) will make them “split you black” and then you are absolute scum, not fit to live, and deserve to die. When my wife has “split me black” she accuses me of being a drug addict (I’ve never even smoked pot in my life), an alcoholic (I won’t touch alcohol for months at a time), a child abuser, and a sexual pervert. These actions have nothing to do with assholishness, but are a consequence of a mental disorder with well researched causes and effects. Clearly there are people who are just plain assholes, but judging from what I have read about Mr. Bonaduce in this thread, he displays more than five of the traits of BPD described in the DSM-IV (see [here](http://www.borderlinepersonalitytoday.com/main/dsmiv.htm)), so he is not being an asshole, he is sick and needs help. ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/36 "2005-11-15T08:50:06Z")
> [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > But do NOT fish for sympathy in a thread like this again. It’s not the right thing to do, methinks. You know, you almost sound like someone with BPD yourself here. How do you know **beckwall** was fishing for sympathy? Can you read her mind? To me, her post just looked like a description of what she’s going through. Your post almost sounds like “projection”, which is one of the things BPDs do a lot. Here are some quotes from [this article](http://www.bpdcentral.com/resources/basics/games.shtml) that describes what projection is: > [@](#): > > Projection is denying one’s own unpleasant traits, behaviors, or feelings by attributing them (often in an accusing way) to someone else. > [@](#): > > Continual blame and criticism is another defense mechanism that some people with BPD who act out use as a survival tool. The criticism may be based on a real issue that the person with BPD has exaggerated, or it may be a pure fantasy on the borderline’s part. So, do you have BPD or were you just being an asshole? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/37 "2005-11-15T09:01:31Z")
**Mycroft Holmes** I agree that he’s sick, and that he needs help. However, I think that the television show etc. isn’t really helping him to get well. It’s providing him all kinds of ways to avoid being held accountable for his actions and to learn to deal with his illness and make progress. He’s not really “there” yet as far as realizing what is wrong, and what he needs to do, but he’s hamming it up for the cameras and “acting” as though he does. At least IMO from what I’ve seen of the show this is so. I’d wager even your wife knows that she’s accountable even if she doesn’t like it, doesn’t she? ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/38 "2005-11-15T09:01:44Z")
> [@Zabali\_Clawbane](#): > > It’s one thing to feel like shit, it’s another to take your problems out on others who aren’t the cause. Depression and medicines are not an excuse, you choose to act on your feelings, and you can choose to at least try not to act on your feelings, if not attempt to settle down. There is such a thing as personal accountability, and Mr. Bonaduce rejects the concept. See, that’s the main difference between someone who is bi-polar and someone who has BPD. A person who has BPD is physically and mentally incapable of “settling down”. Once they are in one of their rages you can only wait for the mental storm to end and there is nothing they or anyone else can do at that point. That is why the therapy that works the best for BPDs is cognitive therapy. They have to learn ways to prevent the thoughts that cause the “splitting” I mentioned above and the rages. Once they realize: “Wait, he didn’t do that to hurt me.”, “He didn’t do that because he hates me and I’m worthless” the rages won’t happen and they can live much better lives. The problem is that the BPD sufferer has to do this themselves. There is no way you can force them to change their thought patterns or their behavior. Most BPDs will spend most of their lives vehemently denying they have a problem, because that’s just the way their brains work. Personal accountability is one of the things BPDs are inherently incapable of (this is one of the traits of this disorder), so Mr. Bonaduce isn’t rejecting the concept, for him it doesn’t exist. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/39 "2005-11-15T09:08:14Z")
:eek: I see now. To me, that’s scary. I’ll keep my bi-polar disorder TYVM. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/40 "2005-11-15T09:10:58Z")
> [@Zabali\_Clawbane](#): > > I’d wager even your wife knows that she’s accountable even if she doesn’t like it, doesn’t she? Thank God she does, and she’s well on her way to getting better. But it took years of hard work to finally get her to realize that she was sick and needed help. Let me give you an example from a couple of years ago: My wife had flown into an uncontrollable rage because I hadn’t cleaned the floor in the proper manner (by that I mean **her** manner). During that rage she took all my clothes out of our bedroom closet, threw them out of the room and made me sleep in the attic. The next morning she woke up and had calmed down a bit, but the first thing she said when she saw the clothes lying around outside our bedroom was: “Look what you did yesterday!”. This is typical of a person with BPD. For every fuck-up Mr. Bonaduce causes he will be incapable of admitting it was his fault. I agree though that displaying your BPD behavior on television is going too far. Maybe he has a little bit of NPD ([Narcissistic Personality Disorder](http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html)) mixed in with the BPD? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957.md?page=3)