# Danny Bonaduce- what a colossal fucking asshole. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 14, 2005, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957 "2005-11-14T05:11:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/41 "2005-11-15T10:00:48Z")
> [@Mycroft Holmes](#): > > You know, you almost sound like someone with BPD yourself here. How do you know **beckwall** was fishing for sympathy? Can you read her mind? To me, her post just looked like a description of what she’s going through. Your post almost sounds like “projection”, which is one of the things BPDs do a lot. Here are some quotes from [this article](http://www.bpdcentral.com/resources/basics/games.shtml) that describes what projection is: > > So, do you have BPD or were you just being an asshole? 😃 Mate, if you don’t like what I’ve got to say… big fucking deal. Whatever. That’s called being centred. It’s not often I’m inspired to call a spade a spade but this is one of those occasions. That goes for you too Diane. You asked if you were wrong to enjoy watching a program which is clearly designed to exploit someone’s unhealthy issues for cheap thrills and ratings. Don’t ask the question if you don’t want an answer. As for whether I can read Beckwall’s mind? Gimme a break. She wrote what she wrote… it’s there in black and white. I’m as entitled as anyone on this board to pass opinion on that. > [@Mycroft Holmes](#): > > Clearly there are people who are just plain assholes, but judging from what I have read about Mr. Bonaduce in this thread, he displays more than five of the traits of BPD described in the DSM-IV (see here), so he is not being an asshole, he is sick and needs help. Obviously, you’ve gone through some personal stuff and it’s been tough. You’ve got my empathy. Equally obvious is that you’re enjoying being an amateur psychologist in this thread because you’ve learnt enough to be a quasi authority on the subject. That’s cool - it’s human nature to do such a thing. Take a note out of your own advice however… in your own words you haven’t seen the program but you’re making judgements on Danny Bonaduce based on third party descriptions. In my opinion that’s far more reckless than my assessment of Beckwalls own words. So as I noted a moment ago, I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. My earlier comments still stand. This is a thread about Danny Bonaduce, and while I accept that threads wander, my assessment that Beckwall was fishing for sympathy in her last post is one I won’t change until I get notified by a moderator that I’ve overstepped a line of some kind. ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/42 "2005-11-15T10:48:21Z")
> [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > … in your own words you haven’t seen the program but you’re making judgements on Danny Bonaduce based on third party descriptions. In my opinion that’s far more reckless than my assessment of Beckwalls own words. That’s why I wrote that I **think** he has BPD. I wasn’t suggesting that I own the absolute truth on the matter. > [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > … my assessment that Beckwall was fishing for sympathy in her last post is one I won’t change … If she really is bi-polar (and in a depressed phase) she wasn’t fishing for sympathy, because your sympathy, my sympathy, or the sympathy of anyone else reading this thread will mean fuck-all to her. Then again, your anger will mean fuck-all to her also, so maybe I should have just shut up. 😉 > [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > Mate, if you don’t like what I’ve got to say… big fucking deal. Whatever. That’s called being centred. Hey, it’s no skin off my back. I just thought you were being a little harsh with **beckwall** and I’m probably just as centered as you are, so like I said: “No big deal”. I was not upset at what you had to say, so what gives you the right to be upset at what I wrote? I even ended with a smiley in case you were humor impaired. You are right in saying that I shouldn’t be fighting **beckwall** ’s fight though, so I’ll just leave it at that. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/43 "2005-11-15T12:27:15Z")
> [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > It’s not often I’m inspired to call a spade a spade but this is one of those occasions. That goes for you too Diane. Spade calling works from all directions, sweety. I appreciate your ill informed analysis of my television viewing pleasure and the effects it has on my “veritible shitload of things I may or may not have time to do in my life”, but excuse me if am now of the opinion that you are an uptight, fucking harpy who needs to firmly pull the stick from your ass. ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/44 "2005-11-15T19:33:32Z")
> [@Mycroft Holmes](#): > > The thing is that a person with BPD just doesn’t think and act the way you or I would. Their neurochemistry is seriously messed up and you can’t even begin to imagine what they feel and think. > > One of the traits of BPD is splitting. This means that their world view has no grays, but only black and white. If a person with BPD has “split you white” it means they think you are the best thing since sliced bread and completely admire and adore you. However, one little mistake (and only the BPD sufferer will know what that is) will make them “split you black” and then you are absolute scum, not fit to live, and deserve to die. > > These actions have nothing to do with assholishness, but are a consequence of a mental disorder with well researched causes and effects. Clearly there are people who are just plain assholes, but judging from what I have read about Mr. Bonaduce in this thread, he displays more than five of the traits of BPD described in the DSM-IV (see [here](http://www.borderlinepersonalitytoday.com/main/dsmiv.htm)), **so he is not being an asshole, he is sick and needs help.** Extremely well written and concise evaluation of a sad situation, IMHO. Danny admits to his faults, yet he has little control over or ability to fix them. My psych doc is hesitant to paste me with the borderline label, but I definitely exhibit borderline behavior at times. It really sucks. If someone hasn’t felt that uncomfortable feeling of being totally out of control, then I think it’s really hard for them to understand it. We do things so horrible, then we come back to the world of the living, and we apologize and beg and cry to our loved ones. Throw in bipolar, PTSD, anxiety, phobias, addictive behavior - it all sucks. I have had moments when I felt like I was not human. (not fishing, mate 🆒 ) I think if you re-read my first post and throw out whatever you need to throw out, what I said at the end was this - if you don’t like the guy or the show, watch something else. It’s OK to pit someone on TV, it’s great that we can do that here, but I don’t feel too sorry for someone who sits in front of the TV and says “that guy is an asshole”, episode after episode. I agree, he’s an asshole. That said, his behavior cannot be compared to that of a person with normal brain chemistry. Sympathy? Meh. Not my cup of tea. Listening and understanding and educating yourself if you have a loved one who is hurting, now that goes a long way with me. Some people just can’t react accordingly to the “bad things happen to good people” creed, so they simply label them as bad people. Ah well, life goes on. When moderators tell me what I can and cannot write, then I listen. When someone with a “stick up their ass” (love you and happy to see you again, Diane) tries to tell me what to write, I tend to ignore them. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/45 "2005-11-15T19:50:01Z")
> [@brickbacon](#): > > Never let anybody tell you Barry Williams can’t hold a grudge. /golf claps ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/46 "2005-11-15T22:25:05Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > You haven’t seen “My Fair Brady”, have you? I now know way more about Christopher Knight’s love life than I ever wanted to. > > Robin Nope. Got no clue; don’t even know who Christopher Knight is. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/47 "2005-11-16T00:29:44Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > Nope. Got no clue; don’t even know who Christopher Knight is. Well, it’s time (for that) to change. ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/48 "2005-11-16T00:58:43Z")
> [@beckwall](#): > > Sympathy? Meh. Not my cup of tea. Listening and understanding and educating yourself if you have a loved one who is hurting, now that goes a long way with me. Some people just can’t react accordingly to the “bad things happen to good people” creed, so they simply label them as bad people. Ah well, life goes on. When moderators tell me what I can and cannot write, then I listen. When someone with a “stick up their ass” (love you and happy to see you again, Diane) tries to tell me what to write, I tend to ignore them. Bullshit. On two counts. Firstly, your post yesterday about “maybe you and Danny should form a club” is what it was. You can’t now deny you wrote what you wrote. Secondly, if you supposedly ignore stuff which doesn’t sit well with your mindset, then why respond? Bottom line… you’re posting on this messageboard for the exact same reason as the rest of us - namely, you’re wanting feedback. I’m happy to admit I’m posting here in this thread because I like debating, because I like being passionate about something. But you? I smell the odious tone of denial. Your first post yesterday tried to excuse Bonaduce’s behavior due to some whacko brain chemistry. You were called on that so then you wrote a second post filled with “woe is me” which had ZERO to do with Bonaduce but had EVERYTHING to do with you. I called you on that. In my opinion your second post reeked of manipulative behaviour. And now you’re saying you’re ignoring what you don’t like to hear. If so, then why even respond? Call me an asshole. I’m happy with that. But I stand by my convictions when I make an assessment of someone’s behaviour. Yesterday you hijacked a thread about somebody’s mental issues with a “poor me fest” and I told you then, as I’m telling you now, that I have little respect for such posts because they’re innately manipulative in trying to exploit sympathy. If you disagree, that’s cool… if you think I’m a total prick, that’s cool too. Nonetheless, I stand by what I’m saying. Hijacking a thread for manipulative reasons on the internet is unhealthy. It’s not the sort of feedback which is gonna make you better. That being said, I’m sure that you’re beautiful and gorgeous in real life and I wish you immense happiness in your future. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/49 "2005-11-16T03:32:38Z")
Thank you Dr. Phil. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/50 "2005-11-16T03:38:04Z")
> [@beckwall](#): > > When someone with a “stick up their ass” (love you and happy to see you again, Diane) tries to tell me what to write, I tend to ignore them. Thanks beckwell, good to see you too! ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/51 "2005-11-16T03:49:52Z")
Whoooboy! Can you feel the love! ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/52 "2005-11-16T04:31:09Z")
> [@imthjckaz](#): > > Whoooboy! > Can you feel the love! Love? Is that what you are calling it these days? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/53 "2005-11-16T05:03:25Z")
But seriously, is there a good outcome to this show? Is it more interesting than the Nick&Jessica show? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/54 "2005-11-16T05:05:27Z")
**Boo Boo** , is this: > [@beckwall](#): > > Those of us who are lucky enough to be bipolar are all colossal fucking assholes. what you call denial or a “poor me” fest? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/55 "2005-11-16T05:10:26Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > But seriously, is there a good outcome to this show? Is it more interesting than the Nick&Jessica show? I don’t know if there is a good outcome, but I certainly find it more interesting than Nick and Jessica. Nck and Jess’s show was so…cutesy. Breaking Bonaduce is more of a, “Whoa, that’s fucked up. I shouldn’t be watching this- aw fuck it, I’m getting some popcorn! This is entertainment” show. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/56 "2005-11-16T05:10:48Z")
{{{{{ **Boo Boo** }}}}} ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/57 "2005-11-16T06:32:53Z")
> [@beckwall](#): > > I have multiple diagnoses besides bipolar. I am a medical professional. I take the best care of myself that I possibly can. Sometimes it just isn’t possible, but you wouldn’t get that unless you’ve been there. And BTW, I’ve seen a lot of fishing on the boards. We call it supporting each other. And it’s empathy that we need, not sympathy, asshat. A few questions here. And I’m being honest in my queries. 1. What field of medicine are you in? If you’re going to cite that as part of your argument it better be in the field of pharmo-psychiatry. A phlebotomist isn’t a valid field of study when it comes to BPD. Sorry, it just wouldn’t. What degree do you hold? 2. What other diagnoses? They can have an impact on BPD. For instance, I also have been blessed with ADHD. Combine the manic episodes when untreated with the utter lack of self-control and the bank account becomes more confusing than Chinese English. (Hah! Thought I was gonna say algebra, didn’t ya!) 3. No. “We” don’t call it fishing. “We” aren’t looking for support. “We” aren’t looking for empathy. Empathy is the last thing I need. I need something that mellows the “highs” and thank God after 10+ years I found a doctor that finally realized it isn’t simple depression. I don’t suffer depressive episodes like some of us nuts. My lows are very mild. But give me a med that treats depression when what I need is something to lower the highs, factor in the ADHD with it’s wonderful qualities of lack of thinking of future consequence to present actions/speech and impulse-control, and empathy is the last of my concern. I need bail money! I don’t want to get into a war with you, but keep in mind that when you attempt to speak for all of us, you’re not helping your case. Instead of arguing the whole spectrum of BPD on a message board that isn’t dedicated to the disorder, take care of yourself. Nobody here can help the chemical disorder (I hate that term, I prefer to just be called nuts). And using the illness to make a point is specious, at best. Anyway, good luck to the both of us. It’s a bitch to cope with and I wish the best for you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/58 "2005-11-16T11:10:18Z")
Duffer? Now THAT was a cool post. Kudos to you… and not because you’re offering a position which somewhat resonates with mine _(I’m more than happy to fight my own battles, believe me)_ - rather, because you’re being objective, and because you’re insightful. I have the utmost respect for people in your position who can write on the SDMB in such a way. Zoe is another. I read posts by the likes of you guys and I always come away with a glowing sense of admiration. In short, posters like yourself and Zoe have evolved within the parameters of your prognosis and you’ve progressed beyond being “energy pirates” - you’ve worked out how to give too. And that’s something to be applauded I reckon. Beckwall? Take note… I play the ball, not the man. I have nothing against you personally because that would be silly. I’m reacting to your posts, and what they contain. I’ve never once insulted a fellow Doper with a derogatory term in the 3 years I’ve been posting here… and I ain’t gonna start now. As for the Bonaduce show? I haven’t seen it, primarily because I detest reality television - which is my right of course. I would note however that programs like Big Brother hire full time psychologists who deliberately choose contestants with line ball mental issues - and they do so specifically to raise the voyeuristic thrills derived by the viewing audience. Think of it as a non-violent form of the gladiatorial contests of Ancient Rome. I personally find such a thing abhorrent but I gladly concede the right of other people to watch. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/59 "2005-11-16T11:26:46Z")
[QUOTE=Boo Boo Foo] Duffer? Now THAT was a cool post. Kudos to you… and not because you’re offering a position which somewhat resonates with mine _(I’m more than happy to fight my own battles, believe me)_ - rather, because you’re being objective, and because you’re insightful. I have the utmost respect for people in your position who can write on the SDMB in such a way. Zoe is another. I read posts by the likes of you guys and I always come away with a glowing sense of admiration. In short, posters like yourself and Zoe have evolved within the parameters of your prognosis and you’ve progressed beyond being “energy pirates” - you’ve worked out how to give too. And that’s something to be applauded I reckon. [QUOTE] **Boo** you are such a fucking wanker. Get off your sanctimonious high-horse. Your ‘holier than thou’ attitude might raise a giggle here amongst Australian folk who will cut your 'tude and your dick down to size in quick time, but it is not appreciated by those on the other side of the Pacific. Nor do I blame them. Grow a brain, and a conscience ya fuckhead. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957/60 "2005-11-16T11:30:07Z")
Yeah, I’m a fuckhead too 'cos I stuffed up the coding. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danny-bonaduce-what-a-colossal-fucking-asshole/330957.md?page=4)