# dantheman's Burma Shave challenge! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 26, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532 "2003-06-26T15:27:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/1 "2003-06-26T15:27:48Z")
Some of you may recall the legendary Burma Shave signs that dotted the American landscape. If you don’t, basically they were a series of smallish signs that comprised a little ditty in which often the second and fourth lines ended in rhyme and the fifth line was simply “Burma Shave” Example: If you want A hearty squeeze Get our Female Anti-freeze Burma-Shave The ditties were whimsical, pleasant Americana. Here’s my challenge. This weekend we’re having a party to celebrate my brother’s graduation from high school and my dad’s retirement. My mom thought it would be a neat idea to have Burma Shave type signs leading up to the house. One set for the graduation, one for the retirement. I’ve come up with a few, and of course I’ll come up with more as they strike me. But I thought I’d open this to everyone! There are certainly people on here who are more creative than I am. Here’s some of the ones I have so far: Leaving your high school Is all loads of fun But don’t mess up college And wind up a bum! Congratulations, Paul! Farewell to high school Your college awaits Attend all of your classes And don’t ever be late! Congratulations, Paul! So now you’ve retired And life’s kind of quiet So head over to ebay And click on “Buy It”! Happy retirement, Dad! You’ve left the office And now life’s not so hard So get out of that chair And go work in the yard! Happy retirement, Dad! You get the idea. (Of course, mine are a little wordier than the example, but I think that’s okay. Briefer is fine, though.) My mom wanted to get the basic theme of “you’re leaving here” in the mix, which of course it would anyway. My brother is going from high school to college, and my dad is going from work to… well, not so much work. 🙂 How about it? Anyone wish to give me some ideas? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/2 "2003-06-26T15:34:20Z")
From the Straight Dope’s Old Threads Grave Here are more [threads](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=146649&highlight=Burma+Shave) on [Burma Shave](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=17410&highlight=Burma+Shave)! ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/3 "2003-06-26T16:46:43Z")
Have a ball School is done But in fall College comes. Congratulations, Paul! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/4 "2003-06-26T18:04:28Z")
See now, that’s what I’m talking about. Thanks, **Jeff**! I’ll try to think of others when I get home … ---
**Author:** ![SeGate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@SeGate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeGate)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/5 "2003-06-26T18:28:02Z")
High school’s over You’re on your way To find the balance Between work and play Congrats Paul! Off to college To go to class Study hard and You will pass Congrats Paul! Work is over Your job is done So live it up And have some fun Happy retirement Dad! Retiring Means moving on But now the boss’ Name is Mom Happy retirement Dad! How’s that? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/6 "2003-06-26T18:29:36Z")
Much better than mine. Short, sweet, and upbeat. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/7 "2003-06-26T18:30:54Z")
You’re leaving home with outlook sunny Have fun at school don’t ask for money! Work was sweet, Retirement’s sweeter The sweetest? Your next job: Wal-Mart Greeter! (That’s sort of a family inside joke, heh.) ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/8 "2003-06-27T00:58:57Z")
Thanks, **voguevixen**! I think I’ll print out the thread and show it to her … you guys came up with great ones - thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/9 "2003-06-27T01:03:34Z")
You’ve had some kicks With this childhood jive But it’s time to grow up You’re sixty five! Happy retirement, dad! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/10 "2003-06-27T01:07:16Z")
Heh! Not quite 65, thank goodness. In fact, I don’t think he’s quite 55 yet. Hm, something to check on. (Maybe 57, come to think of it.) ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/11 "2003-06-27T01:55:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*From the Straight Dope’s > Old Threads Grave > Here are more [threads](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=146649&highlight=Burma+Shave) > on [Burma Shave](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=17410&highlight=Burma+Shave)! \*\* For those clicking on the second link, know ye that **Eve** was originally known on these boards as **Flora McFlimsey**. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/12 "2003-06-27T01:59:26Z")
…the REALLY scary thing is that most of the contributors to that 1999 thread ended up as SDMB moderators or administrators. Makes you wonder whether **Cecil** owns Burma-Shave stock. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/13 "2003-06-28T00:53:25Z")
I’m going to print out this thread now. Thanks for the help, guys. [And it still scares the crap out of me when I get an email notification that a moderator has posted to a thread I started.] ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/14 "2003-06-28T06:31:04Z")
[off topic] People around here Feed the birds So you better watch out for Flying … BURMA SHAVES [/off topic] ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/15 "2003-06-28T07:10:23Z")
college girls are easy the jocks are mean don’t get kicked out by the evil Dean Congratulations, Paul! ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/16 "2003-06-28T18:16:54Z")
Being grown-up is great, Every high school grad knows. Now buy your own meals and wash your own clothes! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/17 "2003-06-30T16:06:31Z")
Whew! Party’s finally over! We wound up with 57 guests! 18 cars! We used a total of four ditties. My mom, who is wealthy in taste while I am a pauper, chose them. Two were mine (“Farewell to high school/Your college awaits” and “So head over to ebay/And click on ‘Buy It’!”). Of the other two, one was by **voguevixen** : “Work was sweet, Retirement’s sweeter The sweetest? Your next job: Wal-Mart Greeter!” and one was by **SeGate** : “Off to college To go to class Study hard and You will pass Congrats Paul!” Thank you all for your help! She was most appreciative and boasted about how I got my Internet posse (!) to help out. ---
**Author:** ![bittersweet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@bittersweet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bittersweet)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/18 "2003-06-30T16:31:35Z")
My brain is still in ‘off’ mode so I won’t even attempt any ideas… I’m just a little disappointed since I thought this thread was going to give me the opportunity to lather up **dantheman** with shaving cream… 😉 _sigh_ Oh well… ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/danthemans-burma-shave-challenge/184532/19 "2003-06-30T20:49:58Z")
Tish, tosh! There’s plenty of opportunities to do that. Well, not shaving cream, exactly. After all, I’m not _that_ hairy …