# Dark secrets of the Santaverse **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 25, 2018, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-secrets-of-the-santaverse/826683 "2018-12-25T16:28:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2018, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-secrets-of-the-santaverse/826683/1 "2018-12-25T16:28:36Z")
In movie and television universes where Santa exists but parents don’t believe, the question is often raised “Are parents surprised when their children find presents the parents didn’t buy?” The answer to this is disturbing. Santa is a magical entity; when he delivers presents to children, he also delivers false memories to parents at the same time. Parents who did not buy that bicycle or dollhouse suddenly remember having done so - with all the associated memories of long lines and laborious assembly. In the Santa-verses, the most fortunate adults are those few who still believe (like Iggy’s father in the Year without a Santa Claus); they can be secure in their memories. Everyone else is unknowingly living a lie. Merry Christmas! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2018, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-secrets-of-the-santaverse/826683/2 "2018-12-25T16:56:51Z")
If the parents couldn’t afford the gift, do the altered memories include the source of the money? Are bank records altered? If the “source” is a bonus from work, are the company’s internal and bank records altered? Co-workers’ memories? Tax records with state and Fed. governments? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2018, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-secrets-of-the-santaverse/826683/3 "2018-12-25T17:01:21Z")
[This explains where the money comes from](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMOmr3FW8Zk). ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2018, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-secrets-of-the-santaverse/826683/4 "2018-12-25T17:02:59Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > If the parents couldn’t afford the gift, do the altered memories include the source of the money? Are bank records altered? If the “source” is a bonus from work, are the company’s internal and bank records altered? Co-workers’ memories? Tax records with state and Fed. governments? An expected sale, found by chance, is a less expansive change, but in some cases, bigger alterations like those you suggest might be necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2018, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-secrets-of-the-santaverse/826683/5 "2018-12-25T17:21:15Z")
Santa isn’t so much a person but a form of intoxication caused by the combination of pine resin and burning yule log. It has a stronger affect on kids because of their low body mass. They’ll start to recover weeks later with fading memories of the cool puppets and space helmet left under the tree when it was really just socks and underwear. Throw in some eggnog and they’ll start seeing elves. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2018, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-secrets-of-the-santaverse/826683/6 "2018-12-25T18:54:00Z")
Santa discriminates against people who don’t believe in him. I demand all the presents he never gave me! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2018, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-secrets-of-the-santaverse/826683/7 "2018-12-25T18:58:25Z")
I insist, I believe. Santa knows. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2018, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-secrets-of-the-santaverse/826683/8 "2018-12-25T22:13:49Z")
> [@Aquadementia](#): > > Santa isn’t so much a person but a form of intoxication caused by the combination of pine resin and burning yule log. It has a stronger affect on kids because of their low body mass. They’ll start to recover weeks later with fading memories of the cool puppets and space helmet left under the tree when it was really just socks and underwear. > Throw in some eggnog and they’ll start seeing elves. Actually, I rather like that idea. The movies pander to children and to adults who remember when they were small enough to get a high off yule fumes.