# Dark Thoughts: What to do with all the bodies? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 18, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240 "2011-08-18T22:36:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240/21 "2011-08-19T04:16:19Z")
Convert them into liquid fuels to power internal combustion engines in automobiles. Gives a whole new meaning to the term “human propelled”. ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240/22 "2011-08-19T05:00:21Z")
Don’t kill them all at the same time; kill them in batches. Take whatever parts you can for organ, marrow and stem cell donation, and biomed research. Drain the blood for transfusions and plasma products. Make lampshades or pseudo-vellum out of the skin (looks real classy when you include large tattoos!) Reclaim expensive metals such as gold fillings and titanium pins/screws. Rehab pacemakers for pets with cardiac problems. Use the long hair to make wigs for cancer patients. Compost the guts for fertilzer. Or, burn the guts to produce energy. Send the meaty bits to zoos to feed the carnivores and vultures. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240/23 "2011-08-19T06:20:03Z")
Sew them up into abominations and use them as meatshields against the orc menace. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240/24 "2011-08-19T12:49:16Z")
As usual, **Shag** ’s all over this one in post #2. You’ve got an industrial-scale problem; you need an industrial-scale solution. I say either render or (UNsanitary) landfill. Nature has an awesome system for recycling biologicals. All we have to do is stay out of the way. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240/25 "2011-08-19T13:51:27Z")
> [@obbn](#): > > You know who else already had a plan for getting rid of the undesirables left over bodies don’t you? Jeffery Dahmer? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240/26 "2011-08-19T15:44:41Z")
And the next Mystery Box ingredient on Master Chef is… Makes Gordon Ramsey’s insults sting extra hard when he chides a contestant about the food giving up its life only to be poorly prepared by an unskilled chef. With the abundance of new cooking shows like Iron Chef and Hell’s Kitchen, it’ll definitely use up a lot of the surplus. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240/27 "2011-08-19T16:58:13Z")
Put 'em up in the vacants. ---
**Author:** ![akira5822](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@akira5822](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akira5822)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240/28 "2011-08-19T17:27:28Z")
Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240/29 "2011-08-19T17:38:44Z")
Mt. New Jersey. ---
**Author:** ![XRaeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/f14d63/32.png) [@XRaeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XRaeth)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240/30 "2011-08-19T19:32:34Z")
In my opinion forced sterilization at birth is a much neater and efficient (not to mention humane) way of removing undesirables from a population. If you feel you have to kill them I agree with **Amblydoper**. Anything other than just dumping them into the ocean is going to be extremely costly and time consuming. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240/31 "2011-08-19T19:45:13Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Jeffery Dahmer? Already dead by broom handle. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-thoughts-what-to-do-with-all-the-bodies/593240.md?page=1)