# Dark time: The Onion covers Katrina
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 7, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523 "2005-09-07T15:20:52Z")
**Posts on this page:** 15
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/1 "2005-09-07T15:20:52Z")
Ok, I laughed. đ
[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40305](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40305)
A few headlines on the main page you miss clicking on the above link:
- Officials Uncertain Whether To Save Or Shoot Victims
- Nationâs Politicians Applaud Great Job Theyâre Doing
- Area Man Drives Food There His Goddamned Self
- Bush: âIt Has Been Brought To My Attention That There Was Recently A Bad Stormâ
Yes, those are joke headlines. Sometimes the line gets blurry. :eek:
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### Author:  [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/2 "2005-09-07T15:23:07Z")
Whoops - that should be dark **humor** time. :smack:
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/3 "2005-09-07T15:24:55Z")
HAH!
Our best efforts overshadowed by the Onionâs Greatness.
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### Author:  [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/4 "2005-09-07T15:29:54Z")
> [@](#):
>
> White Foragers Report Threat Of Black Looters
>
> NEW ORLEANSâThroughout the Gulf Coast, Caucasian suburbanites attempting to gather food and drink in the shattered wreckage of shopping districts have reported seeing AfricanAmericans âlooting snacks and beer from damaged businesses.â âI was in the abandoned Wal-Mart gathering an air mattress so I could float out the potato chips, beef jerky, and Budweiser Iâd managed to find,â said white survivor Lars Wrightson, who had carefully selected foodstuffs whose salt and alcohol content provide protection against contamination. âThen I look up, and I see a whole family of [African-Americans] going straight for the booze. Hell, you could see they had already looted a fortune in diapers.â Radio stations still in operation are advising store owners and white people in the affected areas to locate firearms in sporting-goods stores in order to protect themselves against marauding blacks looting gun shops.
Iâm printing off this whole edition.
Another classic headline: âGovernment Relief Workers Mosey In To Helpâ
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### Author:  [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/5 "2005-09-07T15:43:44Z")
> [@Askia](#):
>
> Another classic headline: âGovernment Relief Workers Mosey In To Helpâ
Iâm trying not to laugh while Iâm sitting in class right now when I think about that.
Truely, The Onion has done an excellent job with this.
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### Author:  [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/6 "2005-09-07T15:49:17Z")
You know, after so many great posts in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=333035), I figured there was no way the Onion could top what our gang came up with.
I was wrong. đ
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/7 "2005-09-07T15:49:52Z")
FEMA representatives call out to survivors, âShow us your tits for emergency rations!â
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### Author:  [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/8 "2005-09-07T17:44:28Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#):
>
> FEMA representatives call out to survivors, âShow us your tits for emergency rations!â
That is wrong on so many levels. And yet so rightâŚ
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### Author:  [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/9 "2005-09-07T19:00:50Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#):
>
> FEMA representatives call out to survivors, âShow us your tits for emergency rations!â
Thereâs a story that guys is rescue choppers & boats have done just that.
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### Author:  [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/10 "2005-09-07T19:02:26Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#):
>
> You know, after so many great posts in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=333035), I figured there was no way the Onion could top what our gang came up with.
>
> I was wrong. đ
Just comparing the headlines in the OP, I think the thread was much funnier.
Of course, the thread just consisted of headlines & not stories.
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### Author:  [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/11 "2005-09-07T19:07:24Z")
> [@FriarTed](#):
>
> Just comparing the headlines in the OP, I think the thread was much funnier.
> Of course, the thread just consisted of headlines & not stories.
I thought the thread was funnier too. I have seen real headlines that closely matched almost all of the Onionâs in the past week. When I first read theirâs, it took me a minute to realize that I was looking at the Onion rather than a regular news site.
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### Author:  [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/12 "2005-09-07T19:40:33Z")
I was really shocked to see that the Onionâs response was so damned _benign_ and, dare I say, lazy. The weakest contributions to that thread were 10x funnier than anything the Onion came up with - I just expected far better and funnier from them. Their post-9/11 issue remains one of the single funniest and most brilliant pieces of comedy Iâve ever seen.
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### Author:  [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/13 "2005-09-07T19:44:22Z")
âShrimp Joint Now Shrimp Habitatâ
::snerk::
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### Author:  [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/14 "2005-09-07T20:48:56Z")
> [@VCO3](#):
>
> I was really shocked to see that the Onionâs response was so damned benign and, dare I say, lazy.
Lazy ainât the half of it. Sometime between last week and this, they stopped granting access to Mac Explorer users. I mean, _wha?_ Itâs like running a bar and refusing to serve any man in a tan suit.
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [September 9, 2005, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dark-time-the-onion-covers-katrina/320523/15 "2005-09-09T01:26:26Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Originally Posted by **Little Nemo**
> _FEMA representatives call out to survivors, âShow us your tits for emergency rations!â_
> [@FriarTed](#):
>
> Thereâs a story that guys is rescue choppers & boats have done just that.
Where did you see this? Mr. Rilch tells me he saw such an article on Drudge, but I canât find it.