# "Darling" in old movies -- where'd it come from? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 19, 2008, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190 "2008-01-19T21:14:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/1 "2008-01-19T21:14:07Z")
I’m just an unsophisticated gal but I’ve managed to get around a little bit in different social circles, and I’ve never, ever heard anyone call their lover/spouse/SO/BFF “darling”. I’ve heard “You’re a darling” and “What a little darling”, and I’ve heard it with the g dropped, but then it’s usually sarcastic or chiding – “Look here, darlin’” or “Okay, darlin’”. It’s everywhere in movies though – even westerns. And it’s in books, at least until the 70’s or so. Why were screenwriters so fond of the word? Have you ever said it? Has anyone ever called you darling? ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/2 "2008-01-19T23:03:44Z")
The woman who used to live downstairs from me always called her boyfriend “darling.” Except she was Russian, and pronounced it “darlink.” ETA: No, I didn’t live upstairs from Natasha Fatale. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/3 "2008-01-19T23:09:27Z")
I use it all the time with one very dear friend, and I used to use it when I spoke to my husband. With absolutely no sarcasm or chiding. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/4 "2008-01-19T23:10:24Z")
Doesn’t Queen Elizabeth II call Prince Philip “Darling” in private? His pet name for her is supposedly “Cabbage”. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/5 "2008-01-19T23:10:31Z")
yeah, my mum for one, and I’m sure other people too - it doesn’t strike me as a particularly remarkable endearment. I expect this will turn out to be a regional thing. My equivalent of this is “baby” - never used it, couldn’t _image_ using it, as far as I know don’t know anyone who does. But I have to believe it’s common enough in some circles ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/6 "2008-01-19T23:11:14Z")
I don’t know how you’ve managed not to encounter it, but it’s a common term of endearment. In answer to the thread title – well, “Darling” comes from what married people or other couples say every day. Maybe not in Iowa; I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/7 "2008-01-19T23:51:20Z")
I remember “Darling” was the last word in Stephan King’s “Pet Sematary” novel. The main character’s “revived from the dead” wife had just came back from the Indian burial grounds, smelling like dirt and death, and put her hand on his shoulder. He knew what was coming next. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/8 "2008-01-20T05:41:17Z")
[QUOTE=Aspidistra] My equivalent of this is “baby” - never used it, couldn’t _image_ using it, as far as I know don’t know anyone who does. But I have to believe it’s common enough in some circles [/QUOTE] Too funny! I use both “darling” and “baby” with regularity. Then again, I also routinely say “howdy,” so maybe I’m not a good example of how normal people around here talk. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/9 "2008-01-20T09:37:04Z")
I use “darling” a lot. (But then, I watch a lot of old movies.) ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/10 "2008-01-20T17:05:22Z")
It was a fairly common all-purpose sobriquet in the days before feminism. Sort of like, “honey.” The use has faded away, partly because of feminism and also because of Eva Gabor (whose use of it in **Green Acres** – she said “This has been a Filmways Production, Darlinks” at the end of each episode – probably helped turn it into a parody of itself.) ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/11 "2008-01-20T17:09:35Z")
What does “darling” have to do with feminism? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/12 "2008-01-20T17:13:48Z")
It’s probably considered slightly demeaning. I call some of my favorite female friends “doll” and was playfully chided by the firebrand feminist for it. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/13 "2008-01-20T17:18:09Z")
[QUOTE=Aesiron] It’s probably considered slightly demeaning. I call some of my favorite female friends “doll” and was playfully chided by the firebrand feminist for it. [/QUOTE] I’m a feminist, albeit not of the firebrand persuasion, and it grates on me. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/14 "2008-01-20T17:23:14Z")
I have a friend who addressed her boyfriend so often with this epithet that his nickname became “Darling” (or alternatively “Myboyfriendpete”). Eventually her “enthusiasm” for him, which included chronic feverish rubbing of his leg under the table while in public, made him run screaming into the night… ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/15 "2008-01-20T17:39:47Z")
But how is it demeaning if one spouse calls another “darling”? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/16 "2008-01-20T17:43:53Z")
I would assume that, like doll, it evokes childishness to some. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/17 "2008-01-20T17:46:16Z")
I think of myself as a feminist, in some ways anyway, but I rather like “darling” and “honey.” They’re cute and evoke old movies. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard anyone unironically use “darling” these days. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/18 "2008-01-20T17:50:31Z")
To clarify what I said above: the “it” in “it grates on me” is “doll.” I don’t like being addressed as “doll” by random strangers (or my old boss’s wife, who is the only IRL person I can think of offhand who did so regularly), since for me evokes an object with an empty (or sawdust-stuffed) head valued only for its appearance. Being called “darling” by a SO, or "darlin’ " by a Southern pal, doesn’t bother me at all. ---
**Author:** ![Caprese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Caprese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caprese)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/19 "2008-01-20T17:53:15Z")
hmm. I’m 53, grew up in NY, CA and CO with my mom calling us kids (and our dad) darling, and I do the same. I mean, I’m not incessantly gushing “darling this” and “darling that,” but I do, from time to time, say it to my own kids and husband. Is there a tinge of irony? If there is, it’s within me, as I laugh at myself for turning into my own mom. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190/20 "2008-01-20T17:54:05Z")
And to clarify my post, I only use it with certain friends who I’m really close to. I don’t use terms of endearment with the vast majority of my friends, let alone colleagues, acquaintances, or random strangers. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darling-in-old-movies-whered-it-come-from/434190.md?page=2)