# Darth Vader loves Whoppers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 18, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411 "2005-05-18T14:30:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![melondeca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@melondeca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melondeca)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/1 "2005-05-18T14:30:13Z")
Yesterday was a beautiful day so the fiance and I decided to go cruising around with the top down. We go to town and stop at a couple pawn shops, various stores and a local restaurant for lunch. After lunch we head uptown to a small shopping plaza. We pull into the parking lot and as I am getting ready to grab the door handle, I happen to glance over at Burger King and HOLY FUCK there is a GIGANTIC Darth Vader moving effortlessly across the roof. I mean this thing was huge and it scared the ever-loving crap out of me. When it stops moving, I see the two guys that were carrying it move out from behind Darth’s elbows. Oh yeah, ha-ha, another inflatable promo for the movie. :smack: The fiance got a good laugh and made fun of me all day. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/2 "2005-05-18T14:35:55Z")
Can Darth even EAT a Whopper? I mean, he’s got those breathing tubes in his mouth. I breathe fine, and I have trouble processing oxygen with a mouthful of burger. Does he liquefy them, I wonder? ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/3 "2005-05-18T14:36:51Z")
I’m just really sad that George Lucas is in such desperate need for money that he whores his characters to every brand out there. Is there some kind of donation fund to help lift poor George out of his crushing poverty so he doesn’t have to do this any more and spare us seeing Yoda fighting over a can of Diet Pepsi? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/4 "2005-05-18T14:37:52Z")
I thought this thread was going to be about huge lies. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/5 "2005-05-18T14:39:20Z")
Have you seen the commercial, with Darth (“Richard”) Vader (of Fort Lee, NJ) facing off against the much more terrifying plasticine Golem big-headed Burger King? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/6 "2005-05-18T14:56:42Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Have you seen the commercial, with Darth (“Richard”) Vader (of Fort Lee, NJ) facing off against the much more terrifying plasticine Golem big-headed Burger King? Yeah, it’s terrifying because of the close-ups of the king. I keep waiting and hoping that Vadar will whip out his light saber and slice up the king, but apparently even The Dark Lord of the Sith is powerless against the evil of the Burger King. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/7 "2005-05-18T15:10:42Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > I’m just really sad that George Lucas is in such desperate need for money that he whores his characters to every brand out there. > > Is there some kind of donation fund to help lift poor George out of his crushing poverty so he doesn’t have to do this any more and spare us seeing Yoda fighting over a can of Diet Pepsi? Hey, he invented it. Its been part of the franchise since the outset. Not sure why exactly this would upset anyone. It’s not like they took JFK, Lincoln and FDR and animated them onto the sides of Sugar Blasted Cocao Bomb boxes. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/8 "2005-05-18T15:17:17Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Have you seen the commercial, with Darth (“Richard”) Vader (of Fort Lee, NJ) facing off against the much more terrifying plasticine Golem big-headed Burger King? Yes, and it was the Wrongest commercial I’ve seen in a long time. I still haven’t decided whether it’s Wrong in a good way or in a bad way. ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/9 "2005-05-18T15:21:47Z")
Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that based on a discussion w/ a family member. He said that all the toys worth getting have either been from McD’s or BK. [ul] [li]I remember when Taco Bell had Episode 1. Does bidding always occur for each individual movie, or only in some cases, as in, sometimes a fast food place makes a deal for the whole franchise?[/li] [li]Where can I find an online list of all the movies that the major fast food places have gotten toy rights for? Why? Dunno, curiousity?[/li] [li]I don’t eat fast food anymore. It’s terrible stuff, and the way they market it is completely awful to us adult Americans. How come they never had some kind of ‘prize’ (ie Seinfeld collectors toys or Matrix) to add to our combos as yet another way of brainwashing us?:D[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/10 "2005-05-18T15:22:03Z")
Darth makes his own fries though. His saber has different setting. Grate, slice, dice, and puree. He tried to make curly fries, but he kept on accidentily cutting off his hand. You should never put your hand near the sharp side of a light saber. Because. Ya know. It’s pretty much _all_ a sharp side. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/11 "2005-05-18T15:22:15Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > I thought this thread was going to be about huge lies. And **I** thought it was going to be about Vader’s love for chocolate-covered malt balls! Or big breasts. Either way. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/12 "2005-05-18T15:32:12Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > I’m just really sad that George Lucas is in such desperate need for money that he whores his characters to every brand out there. Actually, it is probably more acurate to say that BK and Pepsi wanted to be associated with Star Wars rather than Lucas whoring them out. ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/13 "2005-05-18T15:44:41Z")
[This, too, just seems wrong.](http://homepage.mac.com/drewbert/blogpics/2005/darthcheez.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/14 "2005-05-18T16:12:07Z")
My 5-year-old got Darth Vader shoes yesterday. The man is just easy. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/15 "2005-05-18T16:25:19Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > Can Darth even EAT a Whopper? > > I mean, he’s got those breathing tubes in his mouth. > > I breathe fine, and I have trouble processing oxygen with a mouthful of burger. > > Does he liquefy them, I wonder? No, he takes them into his meditation chamber where he can take his helmet off without problems. I wonder though: does he force choke the cashier if they get his order wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/16 "2005-05-18T16:35:34Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > I thought this thread was going to be about huge lies. “Luke… I am your sister!” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/17 "2005-05-18T16:36:28Z")
**Ozzel:** Lord Vader, here is your large Coke with ice; we’re preparing to- \*_gaaaaak_ **Darth Vader:** You have failed me for the last time, Day-Shift Manager. Assistant Manager Piett? **Piett:** Yes, my lord? **Darth Vader:** Make ready my fries, and deploy the Coke, so that no ice remains in the cup. _thump_ **Darth Vader:** _You_ are in command now, Day-Shift Manager Piett. **Piett:** Thank you, Lord Vader. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/18 "2005-05-18T16:41:54Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > **Ozzel:** Lord Vader, here is your large Coke with ice; we’re preparing to- > \*_gaaaaak_ > > **Darth Vader:** You have failed me for the last time, Day-Shift Manager. Assistant Manager Piett? > > **Piett:** Yes, my lord? > > **Darth Vader:** Make ready my fries, and deploy the Coke, so that no ice remains in the cup. > > _thump_ > > **Darth Vader:** _You_ are in command now, Day-Shift Manager Piett. > > **Piett:** Thank you, Lord Vader. “Deploy the Coke” just breaks me up. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/19 "2005-05-18T16:48:23Z")
A Mr. Darth Vader from Fort Lee, New Jersey, writes in and says, “Dear Roseanne Rosannadanna: Last week I went to Burger King to get myself a Whopper, an’ this big, scary King guy with a huge plastic face was standin’ outside the restaurant, just lookin’ at me. I didn’t know what to do! Do I push past him? Do I hit him with my light saber? Do I go to the McDonald’s next door?” Y’know, Darth, you sound like a real decisive guy. You _belong_ in New Jersey. But I know exactly what you’re going through, because I, Roseanne Rosannadanna, used to eat at Burger King all the time. I ate Whoppers and fries and shakes and pies till I thought Ah was gonna _die_. To get back in shape, I had to join one of those fancy shmancy health clubs. You know, the ones where it’s really expensive to join but it’s worth it because you get to see alot of people that you don’t know naked. Like some people got them bulgy, bulgy thighs, the ones that get chafed just 'cause they’re always scraping together. And there’s other people there that got them funny bellybuttons. Like some go in, and some go out, some are like a ball, or curl around, or it’s like a little knob on it like a door. Some people even got little pieces of their sweater still in it. Some of them even look like a little shell or a clam or something you don’t know _what_ they are. But personally, I, Roseanne Rosanndanna, don’t like to walk around with no clothes on in front of other people. Not that I don’t have a great body, but why should I waste it on a bunch of fat ladies in a health club? Anyway, they got this thing there that’s a little room that’s hot inside and you go in there to sweat like a _pig_. So I go in there, but before I sit down, I put this clean towel on the bench 'cause there’s a lot of people been there and you don’t know _where_ they been. But who do you think is sitting next to me but Dr. Joyce Brothers. That very smart pixie lady who thinks she knows everything. But what this nude psycologist didn’t know was that she had this little, teeny, tiny ball of sweat right here, hanging off the tip of her nose. It was just hanging there! It wouldn’t fall off! Like if she turned her head, it wouldn’t fall off. If she stood up it didn’t fall off, if she stretched it wouldn’t come off, and when she picked little pieces of her sweater out of her bellybutton it wouldn’t fall off. That little sweat ball just _wouldn’t fall off_. So I yelled at her, I said, “_Hey, Doctor! Flick that sweat ball off your nose! What are you tryin’ to do, make me sick?_” ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411/20 "2005-05-18T17:25:16Z")
Eve, you’re friggin’ **KILLING** me! I’m sitting in my cubicle pinching my nose, just so’s I don’t start guffawing! Great stuff - classic! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/darth-vader-loves-whoppers/304411.md?page=2)